1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:02,762
Kites, ho!
2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,102
ALL:
Kites, ho!
3
00:00:07,279 --> 00:00:08,262
Excuse me.
4
00:00:08,349 --> 00:00:10,096
You're misusing the word "ho."
5
00:00:11,486 --> 00:00:13,296
It's an interjection used
to call attention
6
00:00:13,375 --> 00:00:16,520
To a destination, not an object,
as in, uh, "Land, ho!"
7
00:00:16,601 --> 00:00:18,167
Or, uh, "Westward, ho!"
8
00:00:21,507 --> 00:00:22,500
ALL:
Kites, ho!
9
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,943
Hey, guys.
Whatcha doin'?
10
00:00:26,455 --> 00:00:27,836
Going out to discover
electricity?
11
00:00:29,802 --> 00:00:31,501
If you're referring to the work
of Benjamin Franklin,
12
00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:33,448
He did not
"discover electricity,"
13
00:00:33,546 --> 00:00:35,060
He merely used a kite
to determine
14
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,109
That lightning "consists"
of electricity.
15
00:00:37,665 --> 00:00:39,098
Also invented
the Franklin stove,
16
00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:41,387
Bifocals and the flexie
urinary catheter.
17
00:00:45,339 --> 00:00:46,152
Kites, ho.
18
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:49,219
We're heading out
for some kite fighting.
19
00:00:49,322 --> 00:00:50,845
"Kite ghting"?
Oh, yeah.
20
00:00:50,941 --> 00:00:53,377
It's an extremely competitive,
cutthrt sport.
21
00:00:54,698 --> 00:00:57,533
Well, actually, the risk of
throat cutting is very low.
22
00:00:58,497 --> 00:01:00,496
On the other hand,
severe string burn is a real
23
00:01:00,596 --> 00:01:01,936
And ever-Present danger.
24
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:04,879
You want to come watch?
25
00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:06,706
, gee...
26
00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:08,288
Sounds amazing.
27
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,543
But, um, I've got some
friends coming over.
28
00:01:10,629 --> 00:01:11,783
Not a big thing--
We're just
29
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:12,982
Gonna watch the Nebraska game.
30
00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:14,914
Oh. Football, sure.
31
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:16,334
(Sotto ve):
Good guess.
32
00:01:19,152 --> 00:01:21,118
I would've invited you, but I
know you're not a footbl fan.
33
00:01:21,194 --> 00:01:23,672
, no, I'm not, so... great.
34
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:25,169
You've got plans
35
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,114
Doing something you like,
I've got plans
36
00:01:27,193 --> 00:01:28,855
Doing something I like,
so 's good.
37
00:01:28,942 --> 00:01:30,448
Well, maybe we'll hang out
later--
38
00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:31,572
You know,
after everybody's gone.
39
00:01:31,653 --> 00:01:32,480
Yeah, great.
40
00:01:33,212 --> 00:01:34,217
See ya.
41
00:01:38,575 --> 00:01:39,474
Well, this sucks.
42
00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:43,375
I'm sorry, I got bored
and drifted off.
43
00:01:46,075 --> 00:01:48,418
Where exactly in the interaction
did the sucking lie?
44
00:01:50,074 --> 00:01:52,224
Leonard just realized that
Penny's been hiding him
45
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:53,884
From her friends
because he's a tiny, little man
46
00:01:53,953 --> 00:01:55,065
Who flies kites.
47
00:01:57,264 --> 00:01:58,611
Oh, that certainly would suck.
48
00:02:00,736 --> 00:02:03,756
* Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state *
49
00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:07,788
*hen nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! *
50
00:02:07,859 --> 00:02:09,179
* T Earth began to cool
51
00:02:09,227 --> 00:02:11,969
* The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed too *
52
00:02:12,051 --> 00:02:13,912
* We built the Wall
* We built the pyramids *
53
00:02:13,987 --> 00:02:16,719
* Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery *
54
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,055
* Bang! *
55
00:02:28,502 --> 00:02:30,047
Wolowitz is trying
to outflank us.
56
00:02:30,113 --> 00:02:32,130
Let out some string,
add altitude
57
00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:33,607
And I'll go under
and cut his line.
58
00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:36,397
Why wouldn't Penny want
her friends to meet me?
59
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,175
Focus, Leonard, focus!
60
00:02:38,252 --> 00:02:39,683
The heat of battle is upon us.
61
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,181
The dogs of war are unleashed.
62
00:02:42,403 --> 00:02:43,735
Maybe Koothrappali's right.
63
00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:45,008
Maybe I embarrass her.
64
00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:46,566
You're embarrassing me
right now.
65
00:02:46,652 --> 00:02:49,200
A grown man woying
about such nonsense
66
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:50,464
When in the middle
of flying kites.
67
00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:53,793
Sorry.
68
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,328
Sorry won't bring
their kites down.
69
00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:56,800
Ow!
70
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:57,998
String burn!
String burn!
71
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,559
Oh, they thinkwe're flanking
72
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,459
They're playing
righ into our hands.
73
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:07,084
On the count of three,
we execute the flying scissor.
74
00:03:07,148 --> 00:03:08,854
One, two...
75
00:03:08,928 --> 00:03:09,967
Whoa!
76
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:11,873
Did you see that?
See what?
77
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,787
That chick--
She smiled at me.
78
00:03:13,956 --> 00:03:15,128
No, she didn't.
Yes, she did.
79
00:03:15,206 --> 00:03:16,490
Come on,
scissors, scissors!
80
00:03:16,557 --> 00:03:18,109
Hold my line.
Wait.
81
00:03:18,174 --> 00:03:18,895
What are you doing?
82
00:03:18,952 --> 00:03:20,201
I can't scissors by myself!
Howard!
83
00:03:20,257 --> 00:03:21,404
Come back!
84
00:03:22,390 --> 00:03:23,818
SHELDON:
Victory!
85
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,446
Son of a bitch.
86
00:03:29,907 --> 00:03:31,492
You're a sucky friend,
you know that?
87
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:33,876
A sucky, sucky friend.
88
00:03:34,852 --> 00:03:36,242
What was supposed to do?
89
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,328
She gave me that
"come-Hither" look.
90
00:03:39,102 --> 00:03:41,291
If she gave you
any look at l. It
was a "you suck" look.
91
00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:46,649
I would've caught up to her
if I hadn't pulled a hammy.
92
00:03:46,717 --> 00:03:48,344
Oh, please,
you weh 80 pounds.
93
00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:49,592
You don't have a hammy.
94
00:03:50,995 --> 00:03:52,736
So, Penny doesn't want
around her friends.
95
00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:54,310
I embarrass her.
Whatlse could it be?
96
00:03:54,912 --> 00:03:56,825
Well, her actions
97
00:03:56,905 --> 00:03:58,638
Could be out of concernfor your feelings
98
00:03:59,235 --> 00:04:01,336
Perhaps she's excluded you
from these gatherings
99
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:03,181
Because she's scouting
for a new mate
100
00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:04,732
And don't want to do it
in front of you.
101
00:04:06,387 --> 00:04:08,704
Oh... how kind of her.
102
00:04:09,492 --> 00:04:10,351
Agreed.
103
00:04:10,426 --> 00:04:12,576
Most primates don't show
that sort of discretion.
104
00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:16,704
A female bonobo will
copulate with a new male
front of the old one
105
00:04:16,774 --> 00:04:18,374
Without so much
as a "hodo you do?"
106
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:20,939
You always do this,
you know?
107
00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,060
You ditch me for a woman
u don't have a shot with.
108
00:04:23,124 --> 00:04:25,066
I totally had a shot.
With a woman
109
00:04:25,148 --> 00:04:26,329
You were chasi
through a park--
110
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:27,914
That's not a shot,
that's a felony.
111
00:04:30,314 --> 00:04:36,112
What's worse, it cost me
my prized Patang fighting kite.
Sheldon, I don't suppose
112
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,021
There's any chance you
could give me my kite back?
113
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,074
I'm sorry, Raj, but
the rules of aerial warfare
114
00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:43,568
Dictate at the fallen
kite go to the victor.
115
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:46,142
And without rules,
the competition has no meaning.
116
00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:47,501
And without meaning,
117
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,250
The following would
be an empty gesture.
118
00:04:49,859 --> 00:04:52,864
(Tauing):
I have your kite.
I have your kite.
119
00:05:00,557 --> 00:05:01,755
(Knocking at door)
120
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:03,457
Hey.
Hi.
121
00:05:03,539 --> 00:05:04,978
How was your football party?
122
00:05:05,061 --> 00:05:06,926
It was prettgood.
We won.
Oh, wow.
123
00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:08,056
That's excellent.
124
00:05:08,589 --> 00:05:10,455
It's a weird figure of speech,
isn't it
125
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:12,356
"We won" when you weren't
actually playing.
126
00:05:14,332 --> 00:05:15,389
When we watch Star Wars,
127
00:05:15,477 --> 00:05:17,128
We don't say,
"We defeated the Empire."
128
00:05:19,411 --> 00:05:22,194
I'm glad to hear it.
Yeah.
129
00:05:22,311 --> 00:05:23,793
Oh, hey, on a related subject,
130
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,586
Are you embarrassed
to have me around your friends?
131
00:05:27,772 --> 00:05:29,010
Oh, my god, no.
132
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:30,658
Why would you ask that?
133
00:05:30,735 --> 00:05:32,476
Well, you know, I just noticed
134
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,930
Sure you have.N't really
met any of them.Well...
135
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:38,338
Yeah, no, I met
the huge ex-Boyfriend
136
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:45,281
And the smBy the way,till larger
were they here today?
137
00:05:45,865 --> 00:05:46,923
Of course not.
Of course not.
138
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,276
Why would they be?
Whwould I ask?
139
00:05:48,364 --> 00:05:49,917
Why am I rambling?
Why don't you stop me?
140
00:05:51,528 --> 00:05:52,475
Leonard, look,
141
00:05:52,535 --> 00:05:54,433
If you want to meet my friends,
that would be great.
142
00:05:54,523 --> 00:05:56,918
I just, you know, I didn't
want you to be bored.
143
00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:58,762
I wouldn't be bored.
144
00:05:58,852 --> 00:06:00,515
Why would I be bored?
Well,
145
00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:02,300
'Cause they're
not genius scientists.
146
00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:05,085
Penny, I like all
sorts of people.
147
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,172
In fact, some ofmy best friends
aren't geniuses.
148
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:10,584
Like who?
149
00:06:14,065 --> 00:06:16,601
Okay, some of my Facebook
friends aren't geniuses.
150
00:06:17,691 --> 00:06:20,117
My point is, if we're
going to be a couple,
151
00:06:20,204 --> 00:06:22,110
I should be friends
with your friends.
152
00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,130
Okay, great.
Well, then why don't you
153
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,839
Come over next Saturday
and watch the game with us.
154
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,777
Another football game?
155
00:06:28,816 --> 00:06:30,538
They have them every week.
156
00:06:31,029 --> 00:06:31,916
Did not know that.
157
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,495
You wanted to meet my friends.
Sure.
158
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,580
Su, just I don't know
much about football.
159
00:06:37,649 --> 00:06:39,051
Oh, that's okay--
A lot of the guys'
160
00:06:39,121 --> 00:06:40,315
Girlfries don't know football.
161
00:06:40,373 --> 00:06:42,090
They just kind of drink
and talk in the kitchen.
162
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,480
Great.
163
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:50,698
(Football game playing on TV)
164
00:06:50,763 --> 00:06:52,485
Okay, a completepass.
165
00:06:53,797 --> 00:06:55,190
First down, New England.
166
00:06:57,665 --> 00:06:59,083
I think I'm starting
to get this.
167
00:06:59,707 --> 00:07:00,583
Really?
168
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,161
The only thing I've learned
in the last two hours
169
00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:03,819
Is that American men
love drinking beer,
170
00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,283
Pee too often and have
trouble getting erections.
171
00:07:11,204 --> 00:07:13,279
Focus on the game,
not the commercials, Raj.
172
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,512
I'm just saying,
maybe if you people
cut back on the beer,
173
00:07:16,617 --> 00:07:20,305
You could get out of the
bathroom and satisfy your women
without pharmaceutical hp.
174
00:07:23,299 --> 00:07:24,927
J, what are you
doing here?
175
00:07:24,994 --> 00:07:26,513
You were supposed to help me
pimp outy Vespa.
176
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,729
I'm sorry, are you
under the impreson
that we're still friends?
177
00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:33,359
(Groans):
Ohcome on.
178
00:07:33,939 --> 00:07:36,230
Y're not still grinding
on the kite thing, are you?
179
00:07:36,337 --> 00:07:38,005
It's not just the kite thing.
180
00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:40,364
Every time we go some place,
you think you can just dump me
181
00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:41,665
Whenever someone prettier
comes along,
182
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,186
Even though you don't have
a shot with them.
183
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,408
I had a shot with that jogger.
184
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:48,819
Fine. Paint green flames
on your little scooter with her.
185
00:07:50,649 --> 00:07:52,273
It's not a little scooter.
186
00:07:52,335 --> 00:07:54,331
It's the second biggest
Vespa they make!
187
00:07:54,411 --> 00:07:55,579
(Door closes)
188
00:07:57,771 --> 00:07:59,339
Are you watching football?
189
00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,247
There's no fooling you.
190
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,588
Now, what is this sacks
statistic they put up there?
191
00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:09,271
All I know about Saks is,
my mother shops there.
192
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,252
Sacks, sacks...
193
00:08:15,348 --> 00:08:16,760
SHELDON:It's football nom
194
00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:18,517
For when a quarterback
is taced
195
00:08:18,587 --> 00:08:20,012
Behind the line of scrimmage.
196
00:08:20,142 --> 00:08:21,315
Huh...
197
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,040
Scrimmage.
198
00:08:27,242 --> 00:08:28,165
SHELDON:
The line of scrimmage
199
00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:30,012
Is the imaginary transverse line
200
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,951
Separating the offense
from the defense.
201
00:08:33,105 --> 00:08:33,912
Oh.
202
00:08:35,318 --> 00:08:37,266
Sheln knows football?
203
00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:39,055
Apparently.
204
00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:41,920
I mean, Quidditch, sure.
But football?
205
00:08:45,206 --> 00:08:46,578
Sheldon, how do you
know this stuff?
206
00:08:46,665 --> 00:08:48,022
I grew up in Texas.
207
00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:49,809
Football is ubiquitous in Texas:
208
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,103
Pro football,
college football,
209
00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:54,097
High school football,
peewee football...
210
00:08:54,189 --> 00:08:56,807
In fact, every form of football
except the original--
211
00:08:56,872 --> 00:08:58,506
Europeanootball.
212
00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:01,474
Which most Texans believe
to be a Commie plot.
213
00:09:04,155 --> 00:09:05,016
Unbeliable.
214
00:09:05,118 --> 00:09:07,321
If you're interested, Ilso
know all about frying meat
215
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:09,274
That isn't icken
as if it were chicken.
216
00:09:13,527 --> 00:09:15,186
So you could teach me?
217
00:09:16,148 --> 00:09:18,189
Football or chicken-Fried meats?
218
00:09:20,154 --> 00:09:21,036
Football.
219
00:09:21,109 --> 00:09:23,288
I'm going to Penny's on Saturday
to watch a game with her friends
220
00:09:23,376 --> 00:09:25,698
And I don't want to look lik
an idiot. I want to blend in.
221
00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:27,538
If you want to blend in
with Penny's friends,
222
00:09:27,637 --> 00:09:29,799
I'd think looking ke an idiot
would be the perfect camouflage.
223
00:09:31,611 --> 00:09:33,892
Come on, Sheldon, please teach
me about football. It'll be fun.
224
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:36,387
That's exactly
what my father said.
225
00:09:37,297 --> 00:09:39,128
"Come to the games.
watch the games."
226
00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:41,112
Week in and week out
from the time
227
00:09:41,176 --> 00:09:42,795
I was five
until I went off to college.
228
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,156
Longesseven years of my life.
229
00:09:47,092 --> 00:09:48,728
Please, I'm asking you
as a friend.
230
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,548
Are you making this a tier one
friendship request?
231
00:09:57,571 --> 00:09:58,622
(Sighs):
Fine.
232
00:09:59,158 --> 00:10:01,232
I really appreciate this.
Yeah, yeah.
233
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,510
All right, Poindexter,
sit wn, shut up and listen.
234
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:06,993
I'm sorry?
235
00:10:07,093 --> 00:10:08,597
That's how my father
always began
236
00:10:08,665 --> 00:10:10,036
Our football conversations.
237
00:10:11,081 --> 00:10:11,887
And if you'd like,
238
00:10:11,965 --> 00:10:12,959
After the game,
239
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,764
When are you going to stop
making Con toast?
240
00:10:44,402 --> 00:10:46,615
When I have enough to destroy
all the human toast
241
00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:48,617
On the battlestar
known asGalactica.
242
00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:53,327
Is that what you're wearing
to watch football at Penny's?
243
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,714
What's wrong
with a football jersey?
244
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:59,100
Nothing. That, however, appears
to be a football cocktail dress.
245
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,611
I's the smallest size they had,
246
00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:06,347
Except the one for dogs.
247
00:11:08,258 --> 00:11:09,803
I can't believe
they had one for dogs.
248
00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:11,451
Oh, yes.
249
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,956
Canine football fans
are a common sight in Texas.
250
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,986
Cats, however, refuse
to wear sporting apparel.
251
00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:20,528
My sister found that out
the hard way.
252
00:11:22,089 --> 00:11:23,195
Anyway, wish me luck.
253
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:24,350
Leonard, wait.
254
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:28,265
Am I correct in assuminghat
your attempt to be accepted
255
00:11:31,699 --> 00:11:34,101
To ensure your continuing
mating privileges with her?
256
00:11:36,516 --> 00:11:38,399
Well, I wouldn't put it
exactly that way
257
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:40,405
How would you put it?
258
00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:42,911
Yeah, okay, like you said.
259
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,056
Huh. Seems like an awful
lot of trouble
260
00:11:47,127 --> 00:11:48,512
To go through for intercourse.
261
00:11:50,383 --> 00:11:52,879
Don't you have access to women
who will do it for money?
262
00:11:58,272 --> 00:12:00,381
Another accepted usage
for the term "ho."
263
00:12:03,463 --> 00:12:04,588
Good-Bye, Sheldon.
264
00:12:06,097 --> 00:12:07,123
Hold on
265
00:12:07,182 --> 00:12:08,433
I believe that
social convention
266
00:12:08,504 --> 00:12:10,278
Dictate you not arrive
empty-Handed.
267
00:12:10,209 --> 00:12:12,207
Would you like to bring
some Cylon toast?
268
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,320
Yeah, no, I'm trying to fit in,
not get laughed at.
269
00:12:19,345 --> 00:12:20,222
(Door closes)
270
00:12:21,122 --> 00:12:22,735
What's funny about Cylon toast?
271
00:12:28,288 --> 00:12:29,125
It's open.
272
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:32,027
Hey, pal.
273
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:35,859
What do you want?
(TV clicks off)
274
00:12:35,928 --> 00:12:37,707
I brought you
a little gift.
275
00:12:38,430 --> 00:12:39,855
New kite.
276
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:44,834
The kite you made me lose
was an authentic Patang,
277
00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:46,414
Indian fighting kite
278
00:12:46,486 --> 00:12:47,866
That my brother sent to me
from New Delhi.
279
00:12:47,926 --> 00:12:50,155
It took me a day to put together
and two days to paint.
280
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:52,577
This is Hello Kitty.
281
00:12:55,972 --> 00:12:58,448
Yeah, but it comes
with a little coin purse.
282
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,955
Does a Patang?
283
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,267
Wow, you just don't
get it, do you?
284
00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:06,176
Buying me something
pretty isn't going
285
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,790
To make our problem
just go away.
286
00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,924
Look, I admit
I haven't always been
287
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:13,474
The best friend I could be.
288
00:13:13,582 --> 00:13:15,947
Y've been a sucky friend,
a sucky, sucky friend.
289
00:13:17,085 --> 00:13:18,523
Stipulated.
290
00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:19,842
And you do it
all the time.
291
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,669
Last week in the mall at
Radio Shack, we were looking
292
00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:23,652
For a phone with giant
numbers for your mother,
293
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,554
And I suddenly realize
you're not even there.
294
00:13:26,653 --> 00:13:33,028
I know, I know...
Getting shot down by the girl
at Hot Dog on a Stick. Were you?
295
00:13:33,087 --> 00:13:34,732
But in my defense,
she was gorgeous!
296
00:13:34,819 --> 00:13:36,929
And working that squeezer
to make the lemonade,
297
00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:39,489
Going and down
and up and down.
298
00:13:40,885 --> 00:13:42,252
It was like
a free pole dance
299
00:13:42,302 --> 00:13:43,916
Right in the middle
of the food court.
300
00:13:45,632 --> 00:13:46,670
You're impossible.
301
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:49,240
Hey, at least I can
talk to women
302
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:50,556
Without being drunk.
303
00:13:50,886 --> 00:13:52,934
Excuse me,
I have selective mutism,
304
00:13:52,996 --> 00:13:54,619
A recognized medical disorder.
305
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:56,413
You're just a douche.
306
00:13:58,707 --> 00:13:59,691
No. You know what?
307
00:13:59,763 --> 00:14:01,958
Maybe that's what
this whole thing's about.
308
00:14:02,019 --> 00:14:02,995
You're not mad at me,
309
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,410
You're mad at yourself.
310
00:14:04,479 --> 00:14:05,558
No, I'm mad at you.
311
00:14:05,657 --> 00:14:07,456
I hate myself,
but I'm mad at you.
312
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:10,218
Fine. You're mad at me.
I get it.
313
00:14:10,799 --> 00:14:13,389
How about we go
spend the day together?
314
00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:16,401
Just the two of us.
315
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,785
We'll go anywhere you want.
316
00:14:19,478 --> 00:14:20,633
I don't know.
317
00:14:21,297 --> 00:14:22,249
Come on.
318
00:14:23,536 --> 00:14:24,887
Let me take you someplace nice.
319
00:14:30,331 --> 00:14:32,643
I-I do enjoy
the La Brea Tar Pits.
320
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,512
Really, now? With the traffic
and the parking?
321
00:14:38,048 --> 00:14:39,049
Okay, fine.
322
00:14:39,876 --> 00:14:41,022
The Tar Pits.
Let's go.
323
00:14:46,859 --> 00:14:48,611
Oh, why can't I stay mad at you?
324
00:14:48,697 --> 00:14:49,988
(Exclaims)
325
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:56,048
Go! Go! Go!
326
00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:57,398
Go-Go-Go-Go! Yes!
327
00:14:57,491 --> 00:14:59,035
Are you people watching this?
328
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,328
Is this amazing or what?
329
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:02,344
Sweetie, that's a highlight
330
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,024
From the '98
championship game.
331
00:15:05,149 --> 00:15:07,234
Oh. Did not know that.
332
00:15:08,546 --> 00:15:10,472
How much beer have you had?
None, why?
333
00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:13,073
Oh. I was just kind of
hoping you were drunk.
334
00:15:14,794 --> 00:15:16,286
Now we're back live.
Okay, yeah.
335
00:15:16,385 --> 00:15:17,728
I can see the difference.
336
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,804
Oh, where's the flag?
That's intentional grounding.
337
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,804
Totally.
That completely was
338
00:15:23,859 --> 00:15:26,556
A forward pass, which they
threw intentionally incomplete
339
00:15:26,628 --> 00:15:29,070
To avoid loss of yardage
or to conserve time
340
00:15:31,137 --> 00:15:32,085
I can't believe they're not
341
00:15:32,151 --> 00:15:33,971
Being penalized
with the loss of a down
342
00:15:34,025 --> 00:15:35,923
And by having to move the line
of scrimmage
343
00:15:35,992 --> 00:15:37,526
Back to the spot of the foul.
344
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:43,147
Here, have some pizza, sweetie.
345
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,254
Penny, you know
I'm lactose intolerant.
346
00:15:45,575 --> 00:15:47,034
I know. I just need you
stop talking.
347
00:15:49,094 --> 00:15:50,024
(Knocking)
SHELDON:
Penny.
348
00:15:50,084 --> 00:15:52,032
Penny. Penny.
349
00:15:53,771 --> 00:15:55,748
Sheldon, come in.
Thank you.
350
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:58,263
I'd like to make a sandwich,
but I'm out of bread.
351
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:02,008
There's some
in the fridge.
352
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,505
You shouldn't keep your bread
in the refrigerator.
353
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,208
Staleness is caused
by crystallization
354
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,162
Of the starch molecules,
which occurs faster
355
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,448
At cool temperatures.
On Earth,
356
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:11,643
We say "thank you."
357
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,873
So Leonard,
how goes the mimesis?
358
00:16:16,472 --> 00:16:17,505
"Mimesis"?
359
00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:20,175
You know. Mimesis.
360
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:24,368
An action in which the mimic
takes on the properties
361
00:16:24,454 --> 00:16:27,083
Of a specific object
or organism.
362
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,525
Mimesis.
363
00:16:31,138 --> 00:16:32,358
What the hell
are you talking about?
364
00:16:34,128 --> 00:16:35,819
I'm attempting
to communicate with you
365
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:38,937
Without my meaning becoming
apparent to those around you.
366
00:16:39,593 --> 00:16:41,059
Let me try again.
367
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:45,007
Have the indigenous fauna
368
00:16:45,078 --> 00:16:47,018
Accepted you as oneof their own?
369
00:16:48,893 --> 00:16:50,524
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
370
00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:53,451
Oh, I guess so.
371
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:55,618
Good. Oh, FYI.
372
00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:58,277
After I eat my sandwich,
I'm taking Koothrappali's
373
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:00,155
Patang kite
out for a test run.
374
00:17:00,247 --> 00:17:02,856
Would you like to get your
delta-Wing raptor and join me?
375
00:17:02,953 --> 00:17:04,769
I don't want to fly kites,
Sheldon.
376
00:17:04,821 --> 00:17:06,136
We're watching football here.
377
00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:08,001
I can see that.
378
00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:09,905
I was providing you
with an alternative.
379
00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:14,561
A courtesy I was never offered
in similar circumstances.
380
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:17,629
(Whistle blows on TV)
381
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,702
Oh, look at that.
382
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:22,531
Indicating he's challenging
the ruling on the field.
383
00:17:23,722 --> 00:17:25,100
I hope he's right, 'cause if
he'not, it'll cost him
384
00:17:25,183 --> 00:17:26,448
One of his three time-Outs.
385
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:33,992
You know, Leonard, honey,
386
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,356
I wouldn't mind if you wanted
to go fly kites with Sheldon.
387
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,219
No, I'll watch the
end of the game.
388
00:17:40,272 --> 00:17:41,505
Besides, there's only
three minutes left.
389
00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:43,186
Until halftime.
390
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,694
This is just half?
391
00:17:46,113 --> 00:17:47,369
We've been here for hours.
392
00:17:47,465 --> 00:17:49,189
And you're gonna be here
for a couple more.
393
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,589
Oh, you're kidding me.
No.
394
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:51,935
Nice meeting all of you.
395
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:57,590
So, yeah, anyway,
that's my boyfriend.
396
00:18:10,392 --> 00:18:11,982
I really like my
saber-Toothed cat.
397
00:18:12,038 --> 00:18:12,944
Thank you.
398
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:14,510
My pleasure.
399
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,290
Maybe after lunch,
we can go to Marie Callender's
400
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:18,738
And have some pie.
401
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:20,211
I'd like that.
402
00:18:21,776 --> 00:18:23,338
(Takes deep breath)
403
00:18:23,421 --> 00:18:25,180
This is turning out
to be a perfect Saturday.
404
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,053
Good. I'm glad.
405
00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:32,305
Oh, man. Did you see
the way she smiled at me?
406
00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:35,612
Fine. Go ahead.
407
00:18:36,185 --> 00:18:38,071
No. This is our day.
408
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:39,495
If you want
to chase after her,
409
00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:40,652
Chase after her.
410
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,374
Ah, who am I kidding?
I wouldn't have a shot
with a girl like that.
411
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,662
Don't put yourself down.
412
00:18:46,714 --> 00:18:48,013
You're a very attractive man.
413
00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:49,946
You think so?
Yeah.
414
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,451
Absolutely.
It wouldn't kill you
415
00:18:51,513 --> 00:18:53,185
To take a Pilates clas
with me now and then,
416
00:18:53,268 --> 00:18:54,589
But you have acertain
417
00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:58,002
Yeah, well,
it doesn't matter
418
00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,893
'Cause she wasn't
really smiling at me.
419
00:19:00,451 --> 00:19:01,955
Actually, in this case,
I think she was.
420
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:03,398
Really?
421
00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:04,895
Yeah.
Bye.
422
00:19:07,349 --> 00:19:08,672
What a douche.
423
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:13,496
Captioning sponsed by CBS,
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
424
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,367
Done by mosito1001
www.addic7ed.com
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