1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,800
Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe
you made up your own game.
2
00:00:08,802 --> 00:00:11,802
It's like the slogan says,
"The Physics is theoretical,
3
00:00:11,867 --> 00:00:13,767
but the fun is real."
4
00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:17,300
We must not be playing it right.
5
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,834
All right, five.
6
00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:22,434
One, two, three, four, five.
7
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,767
Oh, wow, look at that.
8
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:26,500
My Department of Defense
research grant is renewed.
9
00:00:26,567 --> 00:00:28,500
Oh! Great roll!
10
00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:31,467
Now you can demolish
your Soviet-style cyclotron
11
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:34,334
and build the large
Hadron Collider.
12
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,334
Yay.
13
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,934
You're a natural
at this, Penny.
14
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,834
And as the first beta testers,
you two'll have quite the edge
15
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,201
when we play with Wolowitz
and Koothrappali on Sunday.
16
00:00:44,267 --> 00:00:46,167
Oh, gee, Sheldon,
17
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:48,600
I don't think we can play
on Sunday.
18
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:49,468
Why not?
19
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:51,401
Because of the reasons
20
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,600
that Penny will now tell you.
21
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,034
Penny?
22
00:00:54,351 --> 00:00:56,718
Actually, I have to pick up my
friend Justin from the airport.
23
00:00:56,784 --> 00:00:59,184
There you go-- she has to
pick up her friend Justin
at the airport.
24
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:02,484
And I can't play 'cause
I'm going with her-- right?
25
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:03,818
Um, yeah, if you want.
26
00:01:03,883 --> 00:01:05,250
I mean, there may not be room.
27
00:01:05,317 --> 00:01:08,017
He's got a lot of stuff--
like guitars and amplifiers.
28
00:01:08,084 --> 00:01:09,217
Wait.
29
00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:10,917
What are you talking about?
30
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:11,117
My friend, Justin.
31
00:01:11,184 --> 00:01:12,250
Pay attention,
Leonard.
32
00:01:12,317 --> 00:01:14,517
That's why she can't
play on Sunday.
33
00:01:14,584 --> 00:01:15,817
Who is this Justin?
34
00:01:16,084 --> 00:01:17,251
Your turn, Leonard.
I told you about him.
35
00:01:17,268 --> 00:01:18,834
No, you didn't.
Roll the dice, Leonard.
36
00:01:18,901 --> 00:01:20,933
Yeah-- my friend from Omaha;
plays the guitar.
37
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,834
Anyway, he's coming to L.A.
looking for some session work,
38
00:01:22,901 --> 00:01:24,600
so I told him he could
just crash on my couch
39
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:25,801
for a few weeks.
40
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:25,400
Come on, Leonard--
if you roll a six,
41
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,600
Penny dies horribly in
a nuclear meltdown.
42
00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:32,667
See what I mean when I
say the fun is real?
43
00:01:33,234 --> 00:01:34,634
Hang on.
44
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,867
Some guy is going to be sleeping
on your couch?
45
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:38,201
He's not "some guy."
46
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:39,434
He's my friend.
47
00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:42,634
So by "friend,"
do you mean "friend friend,"
48
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,501
"gay friend,"
or "ex boyfriend
49
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:45,767
"who you're now platonic with
50
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:48,034
but still might have a thing
for you friend"?
51
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,167
Well, he's definitely not gay.
52
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:53,267
Oh, ho-ho, a definitely
not gay musician
53
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:55,233
sleeping on my girlfriend's couch.
54
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,233
Yippee.
55
00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,334
Okay, we went out a little bit,
a long time ago.
56
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,400
But we were never
like "going out."
57
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,667
Okay, not to be pedantic,
but last I checked
58
00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:07,200
"went out" was in fact the past
tense of "going out"--
59
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:08,267
which I think
we all know
60
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:09,901
is a popular euphemism
61
00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,934
for "saw each other naked."
62
00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:15,601
I'll just roll for you.
63
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:17,968
Do you have a problem
with Justin staying with me?
64
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,534
What was your first clue?
65
00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:21,567
Uh-oh!
Industrial accident.
66
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:23,968
You know what?
67
00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:25,467
Don't talk to me
like I'm an idiot.
68
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:26,934
I'm not talking to you
like you're an idiot!
69
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:28,801
I'm saying the whole idea
is idiotic!
70
00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:31,100
"You accidentally stare
at a helium-argon laser.
71
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:33,801
Lose one turn and a retina."
72
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,934
How is that not talking
to me like I'm an idiot?
73
00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,734
It's my friend,
it's my couch,
74
00:02:37,801 --> 00:02:38,734
and it's my freakin' life!
75
00:02:38,801 --> 00:02:40,634
It's also your roll.
76
00:02:40,701 --> 00:02:42,500
You know what?
It is your life.
77
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,867
If you want to have some stupid guitarist
stay on your couch, then fine.
78
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:47,667
Why don't you just rent
79
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,233
some bun beds and invite
The Black Eyed Peas?!
80
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,867
Hey, if I want to invite the
entire lineup of Lollapalooza
81
00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:54,467
to sleep in my apartment,
I will,
82
00:02:54,534 --> 00:02:55,667
and it's none of your business!
83
00:02:55,734 --> 00:02:56,767
Are you listening to yourself?
84
00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:58,200
Do you know how childish
you sound right now?
85
00:02:58,267 --> 00:02:59,334
Oh, now I'm a child?
86
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,834
Well, at least
I'm not an idiot anymore!
87
00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:02,534
(blender grinding)
The two aren't mutually
exclusive!
88
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:04,167
Oh, you are such a--
89
00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:06,167
What the hell is he doing?!
90
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,400
He's drowning us out.
91
00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:08,901
He doesn't like fighting.
92
00:03:08,968 --> 00:03:10,867
Sheldon, just stop!
ok, the fight is over!
93
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,601
Oh, and FYI,
94
00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:14,400
you never even heard
of The Black Eyed Peas
95
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,367
until you met me!
96
00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:17,434
I heard of 'em!
97
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,968
Didn't know they were a band.
98
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,001
(grinding continues)
99
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,533
Sheldon, she's gone.
100
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,900
You can turn off the blender.
101
00:03:31,301 --> 00:03:35,034
Has your relationship reached
its inevitable ugly end?
102
00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:38,734
No, we just had a little spat.
103
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,401
Look on the bright side.
104
00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:42,368
As the result
of Penny's forfeit,
105
00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:46,134
you have become the world's
first winner of "Research Lab."
106
00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:49,134
Would you like
a commemorative snow cone?
107
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:54,167
* Our whole universe
was in a high, dense state *
108
00:03:57,434 --> 00:03:58,934
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago*
The Earth began to cool t! *
109
00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:01,667
* The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools *
110
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:04,134
* We built the Wall
* We built the pyramids *
111
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:06,767
* Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery*
112
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:08,667
*hat all started
with a big bang *
113
00:04:08,734 --> 00:04:10,234
* Bang! *
114
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,357
I don't get how she
can just announce
115
00:04:21,423 --> 00:04:23,791
that an old boyfriend is going
to be sleeping on her couch.
116
00:04:23,857 --> 00:04:26,357
Hey, I thought of a game
we can play in the car.
117
00:04:26,423 --> 00:04:27,824
I don't want to play a game,
Sheldon.
118
00:04:27,891 --> 00:04:29,057
It's called "Scientists."
119
00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:31,091
Now, I will name
three scientists,
120
00:04:31,158 --> 00:04:32,657
then you will put them in order
121
00:04:32,724 --> 00:04:33,991
of the size of their
contribution
122
00:04:34,057 --> 00:04:35,057
to their respective fields.
123
00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:37,024
To make this game
even more compelling,
124
00:04:37,091 --> 00:04:39,158
you must consider
only the contribution
125
00:04:39,224 --> 00:04:40,423
of the man to the field,
126
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,690
not the validity
of the field itself.
127
00:04:42,757 --> 00:04:45,158
For example:
Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayn
128
00:04:45,224 --> 00:04:48,290
made a greater contribution to
the discredited field of alchemy
129
00:04:48,357 --> 00:04:50,557
than Halbert Vanderplatt made
to neurobiology.
130
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,191
Okay, ready to have some fun?
131
00:04:53,957 --> 00:04:56,191
An old boyfriend
who's definitely not gay.
132
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:59,057
That's what a guy likes
to hear-- "definitely."
133
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,857
All right, I'll start
with an easy one:
134
00:05:00,924 --> 00:05:05,423
Um, Isaac Newton, Madame Curie
and Niels Bohr.
135
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:08,158
And then I say one little thing
and I end up being the bad guy!
136
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,423
Hint: Madame Curie had
her husband to help her.
137
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:12,924
What am I supposed to say?
138
00:05:12,991 --> 00:05:15,323
"Sure, Penny, I'm cool
with your old boyfriend
139
00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:16,757
sleeping in your
apartment."
140
00:05:16,824 --> 00:05:18,924
"Well, Leonard, it doesn't
matter if you're cool or not
141
00:05:18,991 --> 00:05:20,224
"because I'm Penny
and I'm pretty
142
00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:22,091
and I can do whatever
the hell I want!"
143
00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:23,957
"Oh, I get it!
144
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,624
"You think you're doing me
a favor just by
145
00:05:25,691 --> 00:05:26,858
being in a relationship
with me!"
146
00:05:26,923 --> 00:05:28,391
"No, no, Leonard!
I'm doing you a favor
147
00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:29,858
just by being in the
same room as you!"
148
00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:31,224
Leonard! Stop the car!
149
00:05:32,224 --> 00:05:33,324
What?
150
00:05:33,391 --> 00:05:36,457
I can't listen to the
two of you fight anymore.
151
00:05:41,557 --> 00:05:42,758
Come on, come on,
we're late.
152
00:05:42,824 --> 00:05:44,257
Calm down.
We'll make the movie.
153
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:45,824
I believe my alarm
is appropriate,
154
00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:46,858
given the situation.
155
00:05:46,923 --> 00:05:48,090
The movie starts
in 17 minutes,
156
00:05:48,157 --> 00:05:49,923
which means we'll need
to make all the lights
157
00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:52,391
on Colorado Boulevard,
plus skip the concession stand,
158
00:05:52,457 --> 00:05:53,758
and preshow urination.
159
00:05:53,824 --> 00:05:56,691
Oh, dude, I wish
you had said something
160
00:05:56,758 --> 00:05:59,290
before pounded
that last Red Bull.
161
00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:01,391
SHELDON: Go, go,
Power Rangers, go!
162
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:05,957
Hey.
163
00:06:06,023 --> 00:06:06,591
Hey.
164
00:06:06,957 --> 00:06:08,524
We're, uh, going to the movies.
165
00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:09,724
No, we're not.
166
00:06:10,824 --> 00:06:11,791
We're standing
in the hallway,
167
00:06:11,857 --> 00:06:13,524
suffering through
an awkward encounter.
168
00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:16,457
Hang on.
169
00:06:17,124 --> 00:06:19,557
They're showing a new digital
part of Time Bandits.
170
00:06:19,624 --> 00:06:20,957
You wouldn't want to come,
would you?
171
00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:22,557
Not really, no.
172
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,357
All right, invitation
pointlessly offered,
173
00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:25,823
invitation declined
as expected,
174
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:26,957
everyone's civil,
nobody's fighting.
175
00:06:27,024 --> 00:06:28,024
Have a nice evening.
176
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,890
Just give us a minute.
177
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:33,923
Oh, take all the time
you need.
178
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:40,823
So, are we going to talk
about last night?
179
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:42,658
Are you ready to apologize?
180
00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:43,758
No.
181
00:06:43,857 --> 00:06:44,758
(imitates buzzer)
Wrong answer.
182
00:06:44,823 --> 00:06:45,758
But thank you for playing.
183
00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:47,924
Oh, come on.
184
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,090
This is stupid.
185
00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:50,123
Oh, there it is again!
186
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,190
You think I'm stupid!
187
00:06:51,257 --> 00:06:52,324
No, there's a difference
188
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:54,023
between being stupid
and acting stupid.
189
00:06:54,090 --> 00:06:55,224
Oh, yeah? well,
there's a difference
190
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,090
between being a jerk
and being an ass!
191
00:06:57,157 --> 00:06:59,324
No, there isn't!
192
00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:01,557
They're synonyms!
193
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,023
Well, that was
rather unpleasant.
194
00:07:06,024 --> 00:07:09,324
Yeah, I don't think I need my preshow urination anymore.
195
00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:14,125
Leonard, when that woman moved in
three years ago
196
00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:15,757
I told you not to talk to her,
and now look.
197
00:07:15,824 --> 00:07:17,290
we're going to be late
for the movies.
198
00:07:21,224 --> 00:07:24,724
Hey! Look! Amazing
Spider-Man 183.
199
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:26,824
Got it.
200
00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:27,891
Remember this one?
201
00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:29,224
Spider-Man loses a big fight
202
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:31,724
and then his girlfriend
breaks up with him.
203
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:34,123
Hmm.
204
00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:35,757
Want me to get it for you?
205
00:07:35,824 --> 00:07:38,624
It'll help take your mind
off things.
206
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,290
Hey, guys. What's going ?
207
00:07:40,357 --> 00:07:41,958
Oh, we need to kill
a couple hours
208
00:07:42,023 --> 00:07:43,157
till the next showing
of Time Bandits.
209
00:07:43,224 --> 00:07:44,190
Oh, well,
210
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:45,290
no problem.
211
00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:47,123
I was thinking of closing early
and going home,
212
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,591
but let's face it,
213
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:50,390
that's just a slightly
smaller lonely room
214
00:07:50,457 --> 00:07:53,324
filled with comic books.
215
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,023
Thanks, Stuart.
216
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,224
Let me ask you something.
217
00:07:58,290 --> 00:07:59,291
Do you think it's okay for Penny
218
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:01,091
to have an ex-boyfriend sleep
on her couch?
219
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:02,790
No, I mean, she's obviously
way out of line.
220
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:03,790
Thank you!
221
00:08:03,857 --> 00:08:05,157
But if she dumps you,
222
00:08:05,224 --> 00:08:06,690
she'll have a new boyfriend
by tomorrow morning
223
00:08:06,757 --> 00:08:07,857
and you'll have
a new girlfriend
224
00:08:07,924 --> 00:08:09,857
when you figure out
how to build one.
225
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,890
So the only question is:
how long until you fold?
226
00:08:14,957 --> 00:08:16,690
I am not going to fold.
227
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,057
Well, excuse me,
I don't think
228
00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:19,358
Penny's out of
line at all.
229
00:08:19,424 --> 00:08:20,757
You don't own her.
230
00:08:20,824 --> 00:08:22,557
It's like my girl, Beyonce says
231
00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:26,091
"If you like it, you shoulda
put a ring on it."
232
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,424
WOLOWITZ:
Come on.
233
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:28,623
At the very least,
234
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,458
when she found out Leonard
was upset about it,
235
00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:31,690
she should've
backed off.
236
00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:32,957
You mean like
when a guy's upset
237
00:08:33,024 --> 00:08:34,623
because his friend agreed to
take a cooking class with him
238
00:08:34,690 --> 00:08:35,824
and then doesn't show up
239
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,324
because he's doing a juice fast
with his mother?
240
00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:41,590
I didn't know you were
upset about that.
241
00:08:41,657 --> 00:08:43,624
Really! Did you miss all
the subtle indicators,
242
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,624
like me saying,
"Howard, I am upset."
243
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:46,891
Okay, sorry.
244
00:08:46,957 --> 00:08:48,290
Maybe it means something
different in this country.
245
00:08:48,357 --> 00:08:51,257
Back in India, it means you're
upset with a guy named Howard!
246
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:53,357
I said I'm sorry.
247
00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:54,624
Sorry doesn't make up
for the fact
248
00:08:54,691 --> 00:08:56,657
that I had to make chicken
and rice with this vegan guy.
249
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,657
Do you know what vegan
chicken and rice is?
250
00:08:58,724 --> 00:09:00,691
Rice!
251
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,657
Yeah, well, you think
I was having fun,
252
00:09:02,724 --> 00:09:04,624
sitting around all night
listening to my mother say,
253
00:09:04,691 --> 00:09:07,924
"Have you ever peed so much
in your life?"
254
00:09:07,991 --> 00:09:10,857
Oh, my God, you are
such a mama's boy.
255
00:09:10,924 --> 00:09:12,991
WOLOWITZ:
Hey, don't bring my mother
into this!
256
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:14,290
You brought your
mother into this!
257
00:09:14,357 --> 00:09:16,357
Stop it,
both of you.
258
00:09:16,424 --> 00:09:18,090
All this fighting,
I might as well
259
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,057
be back with my parents!
"Damn it, George,
260
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,357
I told you if you didn't quit
drinkin' I'd leave you!"
261
00:09:22,424 --> 00:09:24,157
"Well, I guess that
makes you a liar.
262
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:25,957
'Cause I'm drunk as hell
and you're still here!"
263
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,124
"Stop yelling!
264
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,757
You're making Sheldon cry!"
265
00:09:28,823 --> 00:09:30,558
"I'll tell you
what's making Sheldon cry!
266
00:09:30,624 --> 00:09:32,391
That I let you name him
Sheldon."
267
00:09:39,157 --> 00:09:42,124
Boy, what got him so upset?
268
00:09:42,191 --> 00:09:45,124
Oh, sure, you can tell
when Sheldon's upset.
269
00:09:52,823 --> 00:09:54,857
Oh, thank you
very much.
270
00:09:54,924 --> 00:09:56,291
Come back soon.
271
00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:57,857
With the other half of my tip.
272
00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:01,624
(sighs)
273
00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:02,457
Hey, Sheldon.
274
00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:03,957
What are you doing here?
275
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:05,124
This is a restaurant.
276
00:10:05,191 --> 00:10:06,258
It's lunchtime.
277
00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:07,624
I would think, as a waitress,
278
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,024
you'd be familiar
with the paradigm.
279
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:10,191
Is Leonard coming?
280
00:10:10,258 --> 00:10:12,158
No, I believe
Leonard is waiting
281
00:10:12,224 --> 00:10:14,857
for you to come crawling back
to him and apologize.
282
00:10:14,924 --> 00:10:16,091
Well, that's not
gonna happen.
283
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,590
I assumed that would
be your attitude.
284
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:19,124
Hence, my true purpose in coming here.
285
00:10:19,191 --> 00:10:22,524
Which is?
I want you to crawl
back to him and apologize.
286
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:23,524
I'm busy.
287
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,490
Excuse me, miss.
288
00:10:25,557 --> 00:10:27,924
I'd like to order lunch.
289
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:33,057
Fine. What do you want?
290
00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:34,657
I have a few questions.
291
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:37,657
First, I notice that you offer
soup and a half-sandwich?
292
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,057
Yes.
293
00:10:39,124 --> 00:10:41,457
Where exactly does
the half-sandwich come from?
294
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:43,724
Are you giving me half
of someone else's sandwich,
295
00:10:43,791 --> 00:10:45,224
or do I have to wait
296
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:46,524
for someone else
in the restaurant
297
00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:47,758
to order the other half?
298
00:10:47,824 --> 00:10:50,023
No, no, Sheldon, they
just make a half-sandwich.
299
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,858
You can't make
a half-sandwich.
300
00:10:51,923 --> 00:10:53,858
If it's the half
of a whole sandwich,
301
00:10:53,923 --> 00:10:55,457
it's just
a small sandwich.
302
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,091
Okay, fine, it's soup
and a small sandwich.
303
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,523
Is that what you want?
304
00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,657
Of course not.
I'll have my usual.
305
00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:02,924
Great.
306
00:11:02,991 --> 00:11:05,490
Aren't you going to ask me
if I want a beverage?
307
00:11:05,557 --> 00:11:06,824
Don't you usually get lemonade?
308
00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:08,024
Yes.
Do you want lemonade?
309
00:11:08,091 --> 00:11:09,291
Yes.
Anything else?
310
00:11:09,358 --> 00:11:11,091
Yes-- I want you
to apologize to Leonard.
311
00:11:11,157 --> 00:11:14,091
I am not going
to apologize.
312
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:14,858
I've done nothing wrong.
313
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,457
He is completely
overreacting.
314
00:11:16,523 --> 00:11:17,023
Irrelevant.
315
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,290
The disruption
in your relationship
316
00:11:18,357 --> 00:11:19,758
is making my life intolerable.
317
00:11:19,824 --> 00:11:22,657
Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but
this really isn't about you.
318
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:25,524
I don't follow.
319
00:11:25,591 --> 00:11:27,724
Yeah, yeah, I'll
be right there.
320
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:29,291
Look, Sheldon,
I have to go.
321
00:11:29,358 --> 00:11:31,258
All right, let's assume,
ad argumentum,
322
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,091
that in this case,
Leonard is wrong.
323
00:11:33,157 --> 00:11:34,624
Leonard is wrong.
324
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:36,057
Considering the number
of transgressions
325
00:11:36,124 --> 00:11:37,891
you've committed
that he's overlooked,
326
00:11:37,957 --> 00:11:39,324
don't you think that,
just this once,
327
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,358
you could return the favor?
328
00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:41,390
I'm coming.
329
00:11:41,457 --> 00:11:42,557
Good-bye, Sheldon.
330
00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:44,590
(sighs)
331
00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:50,524
What do you mean,
transgressions
I've committed?
332
00:11:50,591 --> 00:11:51,823
Were you under the impression
333
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,823
that Leonard has
no complaints about you?
334
00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,424
Like what?!
Yeah, yeah, I see you.
335
00:11:55,491 --> 00:11:57,357
You're making a little
check sign in the air.
336
00:11:57,424 --> 00:11:58,957
I got it.
Just hold your horses.
337
00:12:00,024 --> 00:12:01,190
What does Leonard
complain about?
338
00:12:01,257 --> 00:12:02,658
Your driving.
339
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,724
The plethora
of stuffed animals on your bed
340
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,057
that stare at him
during your amorous activities.
341
00:12:09,091 --> 00:12:11,323
Your constant tardiness,
your singing.
342
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,290
My singing?
343
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,757
That's actually from my list.
344
00:12:13,824 --> 00:12:15,590
But Leonard would be a fool
if he didn't agree with it.
345
00:12:15,657 --> 00:12:17,690
Okay, if Leonard has so
many problems with me,
346
00:12:17,757 --> 00:12:19,357
why hasn't he
just said so?
347
00:12:19,423 --> 00:12:20,390
Because, according to him,
348
00:12:20,457 --> 00:12:21,557
you're oversensitive
and have a temper.
349
00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:22,724
Oh, really?
350
00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:24,124
Well, then, do me a favor
351
00:12:24,191 --> 00:12:26,524
and tell Leonard that
he can drop dead!
352
00:12:30,024 --> 00:12:33,124
And she wonders why
she's constantly undertipped.
353
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:38,624
Hey.
354
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,191
Oh, good, you're home.
355
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,224
I need you to
do me a favor.
356
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,357
Sure.
357
00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:43,490
Go apologize to Penny.
358
00:12:44,057 --> 00:12:45,291
What?!
359
00:12:45,357 --> 00:12:46,557
Right now would be good.
360
00:12:46,624 --> 00:12:48,190
(loud knocking)
PENNY: Leonard!
361
00:12:48,257 --> 00:12:50,557
Although, a few minutes ago
would have been better.
362
00:12:50,624 --> 00:12:51,990
PENNY:
I hear you don't like
363
00:12:52,057 --> 00:12:55,324
my stuffed animals,
my driving or my punctuality.
364
00:12:55,324 --> 00:12:57,557
What? Who would tell you
something like that?
365
00:12:57,624 --> 00:12:59,957
Why would you tell her
something like that?
366
00:13:00,024 --> 00:13:01,391
It doesn't matter
why he told me.
367
00:13:01,457 --> 00:13:02,891
It's true, isn't it?
368
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:04,158
Okay, yeah, it's true,
369
00:13:04,224 --> 00:13:05,690
but I can live
with that stuff.
370
00:13:05,757 --> 00:13:07,891
What I can't live with is
you casually informing me
371
00:13:07,957 --> 00:13:10,057
that some guy's going to be
staying in your apartment
372
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:11,224
without even
asking me first!
373
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,457
That isn't even your problem!
374
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:14,258
Your problem is
you don't trust me!
375
00:13:14,323 --> 00:13:14,923
Oh, come on.
376
00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:18,257
Sheldon, have you ever once heard me say
that I don't trust Penny?
377
00:13:18,324 --> 00:13:21,324
Sheldon?
Where did he go?
378
00:13:21,391 --> 00:13:22,524
PENNY:
Oh, your yelling
379
00:13:22,591 --> 00:13:23,890
must have
freaked him out again.
380
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,990
Where are you going?!
381
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:25,724
You just walk away
382
00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:27,057
in the middle
of an argument?!
No.
383
00:13:27,124 --> 00:13:28,423
I'm going
to go find your damn roommate
384
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:29,557
before he hurts himself
385
00:13:29,624 --> 00:13:30,824
trying to cross the street
or something!
386
00:13:30,891 --> 00:13:32,824
Why didn't you say so?
387
00:13:32,891 --> 00:13:35,157
Oh, now I need your
permission for that, too?!
388
00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:36,891
Well, I can't
read your mind, Penny!
389
00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:38,057
Really? Why not?
390
00:13:38,124 --> 00:13:39,690
You're so smart,
and I'm so dumb!
391
00:13:42,224 --> 00:13:43,358
Raj?
392
00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:45,523
Raj?
393
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:46,857
Raj?
394
00:13:46,924 --> 00:13:48,557
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Stop knocking!
It's open!
395
00:13:48,624 --> 00:13:51,523
Please tell my parents that
our dark matter research
396
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,790
is at a critical juncture,
and I can't come home
397
00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:54,991
for my cousin Sanjay's wedding.
398
00:13:54,991 --> 00:13:56,024
MRS. KOOTHRAPPALI:
Sheldon,
399
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:57,891
ask our son what
we're supposed to say
400
00:13:57,957 --> 00:13:59,724
to Mr. and Mrs. Cheldry,
whose daughter, Lakshmi
401
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:02,490
is flying in from London, for
the sole purpose of meeting him.
402
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,291
I didn't ask you
to set me up with Lakshmi.
403
00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:05,757
You should be thanking us!
404
00:14:05,824 --> 00:14:08,423
Yes-- Lakshmi just got
her stomach stapled.
405
00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:12,624
You have an opportunity
to get in good with her
406
00:14:12,691 --> 00:14:14,758
before she loses weight,
and her self-esteem goes up.
407
00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:16,190
I don't care!
408
00:14:16,257 --> 00:14:17,858
And why don't you
think I can find
409
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:18,758
a woman for myself?
410
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:19,923
Because you're 27,
411
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,090
and the closest thing
we have to a daughter-in-law
412
00:14:22,157 --> 00:14:23,657
is that Jewish boy Howard.
413
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:26,957
Oh..that is completely
below the belt.
414
00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:29,858
Sheldon, tell my parents that
Howard and I are just friends.
415
00:14:31,491 --> 00:14:33,057
Sheldon?
416
00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:35,290
Howard and I are just friends!
417
00:14:38,324 --> 00:14:41,491
Fine. I'll come home
for Sanjay's wedding.
418
00:14:42,824 --> 00:14:45,023
(sighs)
419
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:46,691
(shouting):
Sheldon?!
420
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:47,957
(whistling)
421
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,857
What are you doing?
He's not a lost dog.
422
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,557
Hey, why don't you
just let me find him
423
00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:56,923
while you sit there
hitting your imaginary brake?
424
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:58,691
The brake
might be imaginary,
425
00:14:58,758 --> 00:15:00,858
but that stop sign
you just ran wasn't.
426
00:15:00,923 --> 00:15:02,057
What stop sign?
427
00:15:02,124 --> 00:15:04,957
Eyes on the road.
Eyes on the road!
428
00:15:12,057 --> 00:15:13,624
(doorbell rings)
429
00:15:13,691 --> 00:15:15,391
MOTHER: Howard,
answer the door!
430
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,857
I'm busy!
431
00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,457
WOLOWITZ: I'm busy too.
432
00:15:19,523 --> 00:15:20,724
You answer it.
433
00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:21,757
MOTHER:
I can't!
434
00:15:21,824 --> 00:15:23,358
I'm on the toilet!
435
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,191
WOLOWITZ:
For God's sake, I don't
need to hear that!
436
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,624
Can't you just
say, "I'm busy"?
437
00:15:28,690 --> 00:15:29,991
MOTHER:
I said I'm busy,
438
00:15:30,057 --> 00:15:32,091
but that wasn't
good enough for you!
439
00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,258
WOLOWITZ:
You know what?
440
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:35,324
I hope it's one of those
home invasion deals,
441
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,325
And they shove me in the head.
442
00:15:37,024 --> 00:15:38,690
MOTHER: Well, if it's
a home invader,
443
00:15:38,757 --> 00:15:41,124
don't tell them
I'm on the toilet!
444
00:15:45,191 --> 00:15:47,224
There's no one there.
445
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:49,724
You're hearing things,
you crazy old lady!
446
00:15:54,024 --> 00:15:55,791
Hey, Stuart,
have you seen Sheldon?
447
00:15:55,858 --> 00:15:58,657
Yeah, he's, uh, over in
the graphic novel section.
448
00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:02,357
Built himself a little nest.
449
00:16:02,424 --> 00:16:04,190
Thank you.
450
00:16:04,257 --> 00:16:05,190
Uh, Penny?
451
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,224
Yeah?
452
00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:07,624
Is everything okay?
453
00:16:07,691 --> 00:16:08,624
What do you mean?
454
00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:09,758
Uh, Sheldon told me
455
00:16:09,824 --> 00:16:11,224
you and Leonard
were having a fight?
456
00:16:11,290 --> 00:16:13,257
Oh, yeah, kind of.
457
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:14,457
It's-It's no big thing.
458
00:16:14,524 --> 00:16:15,624
Oh, good, good.
459
00:16:15,991 --> 00:16:17,957
I love you.
460
00:16:19,724 --> 00:16:22,158
I'm not leaving
until you talk to me.
461
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:23,390
All right,
what's going on?
462
00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:25,424
It's a little hard to explain.
He does this thing
463
00:16:25,424 --> 00:16:27,290
where he pretends
he's in an alternate
464
00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:29,891
dimension that occupies the
same physical space we're in,
465
00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:31,924
but he can't perceive us.
466
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:34,590
Don't flatter yourself.
467
00:16:34,657 --> 00:16:36,424
I'm just ignoring you.
468
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:39,723
Come on, Sheldon,
let's go home.
469
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,491
Look, we're
done fighting.
470
00:16:41,558 --> 00:16:42,723
I've heard that before.
471
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:44,524
But then,
the next thing you know,
472
00:16:44,591 --> 00:16:45,857
I'm hiding in my bedroom,
473
00:16:45,924 --> 00:16:47,191
blaring a Richard Feinman
lecture
474
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,723
while my mom is shouting
that Jesus would forgive her
475
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:52,057
if she put ground glass
in my dad's meatloaf.
476
00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:53,757
And my dad's
477
00:16:53,823 --> 00:16:55,224
on the roof skeet-shooting
478
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:57,690
her Franklin Mint
collectible plates.
479
00:16:58,757 --> 00:17:00,357
There's going to
no more shouting
480
00:17:00,424 --> 00:17:02,424
and no skeet-shooting.
481
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:03,590
Really?
482
00:17:03,657 --> 00:17:05,457
Where's your friend Justin
going to sleep?
483
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,824
Yeah... where's
he gonna sleep?
484
00:17:07,891 --> 00:17:09,957
Oh, my God, would
you let this go?!
485
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:11,424
STUART:
I'd let it go.
486
00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:14,457
Why should I let it go?
487
00:17:14,524 --> 00:17:16,924
Why don't you just tell the guy
to find another place to sleep?!
488
00:17:16,991 --> 00:17:18,624
(robot playing
ominous music)
489
00:17:18,691 --> 00:17:20,557
Oh, for God's sakes.
490
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,190
(turns robot off)
491
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:24,290
So, you have childhood issues.
492
00:17:24,357 --> 00:17:26,623
We all have childhood issues.
493
00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:29,291
At some point, you just need
to grow up and get past them.
494
00:17:29,358 --> 00:17:30,557
ROBOT:
Fire! Fire!
495
00:17:30,623 --> 00:17:31,824
(robot firing blasters)
496
00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:33,557
Leonard, will you just
let me handle this, please?
497
00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:36,590
Again! Fire! Fire!
Let... just...Look...
498
00:17:36,657 --> 00:17:38,623
(robot shouting)
499
00:17:39,957 --> 00:17:42,157
(turns robot off)
500
00:17:42,224 --> 00:17:44,924
Sheldon, please,
try and understand.
501
00:17:44,991 --> 00:17:47,224
Look, Leonard and I
are in a relationship,
502
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:48,824
and occasionally,
we're going to fight.
503
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,557
But no matter
what happens
504
00:17:50,623 --> 00:17:53,057
between us, we will
always love you.
505
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,858
Right, Leonard?
506
00:17:56,924 --> 00:17:59,357
Always is a long time.
507
00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:03,257
Sure. Always.
508
00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:05,190
You know, how about
we buy you this robot,
509
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:07,624
and then we all go home?
510
00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:09,691
I want that one.
511
00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:12,390
Okay, you can have that one.
512
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:15,724
Oh, come on, he's just going
to play with it twice,
513
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,991
and then it'll end up in his
closet with all the other junk.
514
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:21,191
Buy him the robot, Leonard.
515
00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:25,024
Can I get
this comic book, too?
516
00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:26,358
(baby talk):
Yes, you can.
517
00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:31,557
(sighs)
518
00:18:31,623 --> 00:18:33,523
We meet again.
519
00:18:42,257 --> 00:18:44,157
So what did Justin say
when you told him
520
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,590
he couldn't sleep
on your couch?
521
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:46,824
He's a musician.
522
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:49,424
He'll sleep in his own
vomit, if he has to.
523
00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:00,324
I should have asked
for much more
524
00:19:00,391 --> 00:19:04,157
than a comic book and a robot.
525
00:19:04,224 --> 00:19:06,224
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com