1
00:00:02,345 --> 00:00:05,814
Oh, damn, they canceled my Visa.
2
00:00:05,815 --> 00:00:09,583
(gasps)
Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!
3
00:00:09,584 --> 00:00:11,752
Uh-oh.
4
00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:12,886
What?
5
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,788
I was going to get my mail.
6
00:00:14,789 --> 00:00:16,589
Okay.
7
00:00:18,258 --> 00:00:21,727
Are... are you hoping
to get it telepathically?
8
00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:24,582
I think you mean
telekinetically.
9
00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:26,423
And no.
10
00:00:26,424 --> 00:00:27,704
I just wasn't sure
11
00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:30,012
of the proper protocol
now that you and Leonard
12
00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:31,941
are no longer
having coitus.
13
00:00:31,942 --> 00:00:35,460
God, can we please just say
"no longer seeing each other"?
14
00:00:35,461 --> 00:00:36,978
Well, we could if it were true.
15
00:00:36,979 --> 00:00:38,890
But as you live
in the same building,
16
00:00:38,891 --> 00:00:40,412
you see each other all the time.
17
00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:43,741
The variable which has changed
is the coitus.
18
00:00:43,742 --> 00:00:46,497
Okay, here's the protocol:
19
00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:49,100
you and I are still friends,
and you stop saying "coitus."
20
00:00:49,418 --> 00:00:50,834
Good, good.
21
00:00:50,835 --> 00:00:52,799
I'm glad we're
still friends.
22
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:53,748
Really?
23
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,644
Oh, yes. It was
a lot of work
24
00:00:55,645 --> 00:00:57,092
to accommodate you
in my life.
25
00:00:57,093 --> 00:01:00,447
I'd hate for that effort
to have been in vain.
26
00:01:00,448 --> 00:01:01,794
Right.
27
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,254
Just to be clear,
do I have to stop
28
00:01:04,255 --> 00:01:06,424
saying "coitus" with
everyone or just you?
29
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,327
Everyone.
30
00:01:09,328 --> 00:01:10,840
Harsh terms.
31
00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:13,262
But all right-- I'll just
substitute "intercourse."
32
00:01:13,263 --> 00:01:14,451
Great.
33
00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:15,828
Or "fornication."
34
00:01:15,829 --> 00:01:17,950
Yeah. But that has
judgmental overtones,
35
00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:20,104
so I'll hold that in reserve.
36
00:01:20,105 --> 00:01:22,290
So, how you been?
37
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,586
Well, my existence
is a continuum,
38
00:01:24,821 --> 00:01:28,433
so I've been what I am at each point
in the implied time period.
39
00:01:31,284 --> 00:01:34,309
You're just coitusing
with me, aren't you?
40
00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:38,810
Bazinga.
Mm-hmm.
41
00:01:39,727 --> 00:01:40,968
How's Leonard doing?
42
00:01:40,969 --> 00:01:42,410
He seems all right.
43
00:01:42,411 --> 00:01:45,099
Although he does spend a
disturbing amount of time
44
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,781
looking at
photographs of you
45
00:01:46,782 --> 00:01:50,171
and smelling the
pillow you slept on.
46
00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:51,651
Oh, but now
that I think of it,
47
00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:54,773
he asked me
not to tell you that.
48
00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:57,054
I'll pretend
I didn't hear it.
49
00:01:57,055 --> 00:02:01,015
I'd rather you pretend
I didn't say it.
50
00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:04,909
I see you bought Mama Italia
marinara spaghetti sauce.
51
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,483
(laughs):
Yep.
52
00:02:06,484 --> 00:02:08,703
That's the sauce
my mother uses.
53
00:02:08,704 --> 00:02:11,016
She likes cooking Italian
because according to her,
54
00:02:11,017 --> 00:02:14,702
that's what the Romans
made Jesus eat.
55
00:02:14,703 --> 00:02:16,042
Interesting.
56
00:02:16,043 --> 00:02:18,655
I'll have to have you over
for spaghetti some night.
57
00:02:18,656 --> 00:02:20,166
I'm hungry now.
58
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:22,244
Oh. Um, okay.
59
00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:25,061
Why don't you give me an hour
and come over?
60
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,206
Will you cut up hot dogs
into little chunks
61
00:02:27,207 --> 00:02:28,784
and mix them in with the sauce?
62
00:02:28,785 --> 00:02:31,329
I don't have hot dogs.
63
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:32,839
Oh, it's all right; I do.
64
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:37,194
Oh! You're in for what my mother
calls "a real Eye-talian treat""
65
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,315
Hey, where you been?
66
00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:43,459
I was talking with Penny.
67
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,269
What's wrong with you?
68
00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:47,379
You can't hang out
with your roommate's ex.
69
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:48,889
That's totally uncool.
70
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:50,965
No, it's fine.
I don't care.
71
00:02:50,966 --> 00:02:52,671
I'm over it.
72
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,151
Yeah, he's over it; that's
why he's been whining all day
73
00:02:55,152 --> 00:02:56,994
about trying to invent
that memory-wiper gizmo
74
00:02:56,995 --> 00:02:58,700
from Men in Black.
75
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,676
Is he making any progress?
76
00:03:00,677 --> 00:03:04,328
Because I'd like to erase
Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
77
00:03:07,243 --> 00:03:09,418
So would Ben Affleck.
78
00:03:09,419 --> 00:03:11,827
The point is, in a
situation like this
79
00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:13,703
you got to pick sides.
80
00:03:13,704 --> 00:03:16,182
You're either on Team Leonard
or Team Penny.
81
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:18,625
Which one picks last?
82
00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,166
What?
83
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,642
Well, usually I'm on the team
that picks last.
84
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,425
Unless there's a kid
in a wheelchair.
85
00:03:28,735 --> 00:03:30,909
Sheldon, I got you
your tangerine chicken.
86
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,350
I hope you're hungry.
87
00:03:34,092 --> 00:03:35,396
Well, of course I'm hungry.
88
00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:38,675
And as I have no plans to eat
with any other team,
89
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,649
I will consume
my tangerine chicken
90
00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,557
with the appropriate gusto.
91
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:43,862
Mm, mm, mm!
92
00:03:46,507 --> 00:03:47,778
Okay.
93
00:03:47,779 --> 00:03:50,590
Just out of curiosity,
do we still have hot dogs?
94
00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:52,498
I don't know. Why?
95
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,906
Just making dinner
conversation.
96
00:03:54,907 --> 00:03:57,784
Go, Team Leonard!
97
00:03:57,785 --> 00:04:01,432
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
98
00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:04,777
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
99
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,385
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
100
00:04:06,386 --> 00:04:08,953
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
101
00:04:08,954 --> 00:04:11,622
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
102
00:04:11,623 --> 00:04:14,292
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
103
00:04:14,293 --> 00:04:16,194
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
104
00:04:16,195 --> 00:04:17,762
♪ Bang! ♪
105
00:04:17,772 --> 00:04:21,772
The Big Bang Theory 3x20
The Spaghetti Catalyste
Original Air Date on May 3, 2010
106
00:04:21,782 --> 00:04:24,782
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
107
00:04:25,185 --> 00:04:26,954
Oh, God,
this is good.
108
00:04:26,955 --> 00:04:28,621
Let me ask you
a question.
109
00:04:28,622 --> 00:04:30,523
Do you believe
you're going to go to hell
110
00:04:30,524 --> 00:04:32,758
for eating sweet and sour pork?
111
00:04:32,759 --> 00:04:35,294
Jews don't have hell.
112
00:04:35,295 --> 00:04:38,563
We have acid reflux.
113
00:04:38,564 --> 00:04:41,366
Do you want the last
dumpling, Sheldon?
114
00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:42,667
Certainly.
115
00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:45,202
It's not like I have to
moderate my food intake
116
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,837
because I'm planning on
eating again very shortly.
117
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:49,705
Mm, mm, mm!
118
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:56,110
So, you guys want
to do something tonight?
119
00:04:56,111 --> 00:04:57,379
Nah, I can't.
120
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,715
I got to pick up my mom
from her water aerobics class.
121
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:04,385
18 overweight women
flapping their arm fat
122
00:05:04,386 --> 00:05:06,587
in a swimming pool.
123
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:11,859
Looks like the manatee tank
at Sea World.
124
00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:14,628
What about you, Raj?
125
00:05:14,629 --> 00:05:15,962
Oh, there it is:
126
00:05:15,963 --> 00:05:17,396
now that you don't
have a girlfriend,
127
00:05:17,397 --> 00:05:19,365
you want to hang out
with me again.
128
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:21,867
I never stopped
hanging out with you.
Oh, please,
129
00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,368
we all know
I'm the friend you call
130
00:05:23,369 --> 00:05:25,036
when you have
no other options.
131
00:05:25,037 --> 00:05:28,706
If we were the Justice League,
I'd be Aquaman.
132
00:05:28,707 --> 00:05:30,173
I wish you were Aquaman.
133
00:05:30,174 --> 00:05:33,876
Then I could send you to scoop
my mom out of the old lady tank.
134
00:05:35,512 --> 00:05:39,481
Excuse me, I'm thirsty, so I'm
going to go to the refrigerator
135
00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:42,316
and get myself
a refreshing beverage.
136
00:05:43,585 --> 00:05:47,088
You know what? I'll just
spend the evening alone.
137
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:51,091
What, suddenly I'm not
good enough for you?
138
00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:58,463
Ah...
139
00:05:59,431 --> 00:06:01,399
I do so love beverages.
140
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,335
Now I think I'll take
my after-dinner walk.
141
00:06:08,539 --> 00:06:11,107
Since when do you take
after-dinner walks?
142
00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:13,209
Yeah, since when
do you take walks?
143
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:16,011
I read a study online
that walking after a meal
144
00:06:16,012 --> 00:06:18,813
not only aids in digestion,
but increases serotonin,
145
00:06:18,814 --> 00:06:21,548
and you know me,
if there's one thing I like
146
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,319
more than a refreshing beverage,
it's serotonin. Bye-bye.
147
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,623
Hold on.
I'll walk down with you.
148
00:06:26,624 --> 00:06:27,691
Oh...
149
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,524
that's not necessary.
150
00:06:29,525 --> 00:06:31,859
You can go first.
151
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,260
Or we could go together.
152
00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:37,163
I can't think of
a reason why not.
153
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,264
Let's go.
154
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,731
Hold on.
155
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,900
Nope, no reason.
156
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,813
I've missed you.
157
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:58,050
All right, say hello
to your mother for me.
158
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,318
Okay.
159
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,924
What?
160
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,692
You said you were going
for a walk.
161
00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:11,394
I didn't say outside.
162
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:15,531
So what, you're just gonna
walk up and down the stairs?
163
00:07:15,532 --> 00:07:18,100
No, of course not.
164
00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:20,970
That would be odd
and suspicious behavior.
165
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:23,972
WOMAN:
Here, Russell! Here, boy!
166
00:07:23,973 --> 00:07:25,439
Which way are you going?
167
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,941
Which way are you going?
168
00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:29,409
I parked my scooter
down the block.
169
00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:32,378
I'm going the
other way. Bye.
170
00:07:32,379 --> 00:07:33,879
Bye.
171
00:07:34,748 --> 00:07:36,916
Actually, I'm this way.
172
00:07:38,585 --> 00:07:40,052
Do I smell hot dogs?
173
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:42,987
No. I mean, I have
no idea what you smell.
174
00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:46,022
I definitely
smell raw hot dog.
175
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,325
Perhaps you're getting
a brain tumor.
176
00:07:49,561 --> 00:07:51,629
All right,
have a nice walk.
177
00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:53,997
I shall.
Have a nice scoot.
178
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,966
You might want to stand back.
179
00:07:57,967 --> 00:08:01,368
I'm sitting
on top of 13 horses here.
180
00:08:06,407 --> 00:08:08,608
(horn beeps)
181
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:13,912
Oh. Hello, doggie.
(growling)
182
00:08:13,913 --> 00:08:15,580
Nice doggie.
183
00:08:15,581 --> 00:08:17,247
(barks, growls)
184
00:08:17,248 --> 00:08:20,383
I bet you think
you smell hot dogs.
185
00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:23,052
Look, a cat!
186
00:08:23,854 --> 00:08:26,522
(barking)
187
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:29,892
SHELDON (knocking):
Penny?
188
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,894
(knocking)
Penny.
189
00:08:37,365 --> 00:08:39,366
(knocking)
Penny.
190
00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:41,701
Here.
191
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:46,739
I had to trade the others
for my life.
192
00:08:49,275 --> 00:08:51,443
(music playing over TV)
193
00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:53,771
Hey, Leonard?
194
00:08:53,772 --> 00:08:55,072
Yeah?
195
00:08:55,073 --> 00:08:57,441
I haven't had sex in a year.
196
00:09:00,077 --> 00:09:02,745
Where you going with this, Raj?
197
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,714
Don't flatter yourself, dude.
198
00:09:07,383 --> 00:09:09,017
I want to go out
and meet a woman.
199
00:09:09,018 --> 00:09:10,718
So, go.
Well, I need a wingman.
200
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:14,087
I don't want to come off
like a lonely loser.
201
00:09:14,088 --> 00:09:17,590
And you think my presence
will help with that?
202
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,891
Well, I do.
203
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,594
Next to you,
I'll look like a catch.
204
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,163
I'm not going out
tonight, Raj.
205
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,764
All right.
206
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,298
Would you mind
if I went to your room
207
00:09:27,299 --> 00:09:30,401
and downloaded
some Asian pornography?
208
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:32,937
Very much.
209
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,938
Doesn't have to be Asian.
210
00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:38,775
Don't worry.
You'll meet a girl someday.
211
00:09:38,776 --> 00:09:41,911
No, I won't.
Yes, you will,
and she'll be beautiful.
212
00:09:41,912 --> 00:09:43,912
And kind and sexy and funny
213
00:09:43,913 --> 00:09:45,747
and everything you ever wanted
in a woman.
214
00:09:45,748 --> 00:09:46,815
You really think so?
215
00:09:46,816 --> 00:09:49,117
I do, and you'll
fall hopelessly in love
216
00:09:49,118 --> 00:09:50,551
and give her your heart.
217
00:09:50,552 --> 00:09:54,421
And she'll take it and grind it
into pathetic, little pieces.
218
00:09:55,823 --> 00:09:57,824
But we'll have sex first, right?
219
00:10:02,462 --> 00:10:04,663
(exhales)
220
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:11,369
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
221
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,904
That's Eye-talian.
222
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,607
So, um, was Leonard okay
with you coming over?
223
00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,476
Oh, yes.
224
00:10:19,477 --> 00:10:22,278
In fact, he said,
"I'm fine. I don't care."
225
00:10:22,279 --> 00:10:24,113
And he in no way
said it in a manner
226
00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:25,981
which would lead one to believe
that he was covering up
227
00:10:25,982 --> 00:10:27,917
feelings of anguish
and betrayal.
228
00:10:29,419 --> 00:10:30,920
Well, good.
I'm also
229
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:34,656
pleased to report that
he's all cried out over you.
230
00:10:34,657 --> 00:10:36,190
He's been crying?
231
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:38,426
Oh, I believe that
was something else
232
00:10:38,427 --> 00:10:39,793
I wasn't supposed to mention.
233
00:10:39,794 --> 00:10:43,096
Oh, God, I feel terrible.
234
00:10:43,097 --> 00:10:45,365
Do you have
a stomachache, too?
235
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,000
No. Why, do you?
236
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,702
No.
237
00:10:49,703 --> 00:10:52,404
Why did you ask
if I had one, too?
238
00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:55,440
Just making polite
dinner conversation.
239
00:10:55,441 --> 00:10:56,808
Your turn.
240
00:10:56,809 --> 00:11:00,044
All right.
241
00:11:00,045 --> 00:11:02,212
So, what's new in your life?
242
00:11:02,213 --> 00:11:07,650
Well, my new shoes are
not made for running.
243
00:11:09,486 --> 00:11:11,487
Have you been running?
244
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:14,222
No.
245
00:11:15,057 --> 00:11:17,291
It's just a suspicion I have.
246
00:11:19,294 --> 00:11:22,162
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
247
00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:24,964
I'm so glad you like it.
I do.
248
00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:26,766
Leonard never cooks for me.
249
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,168
Well, maybe that's
'cause Leonard can't cook.
250
00:11:29,169 --> 00:11:31,703
You can't cook
and you made me this.
251
00:11:33,139 --> 00:11:34,606
Whatever.
252
00:11:34,607 --> 00:11:36,640
Ooh, I'm gonna get the
cheesecake out of the fridge.
253
00:11:37,775 --> 00:11:40,143
Oh, Lord, I'm in Jewish hell.
254
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:47,911
Look at this.
255
00:11:47,912 --> 00:11:49,513
Do you think
she's really doing that
256
00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:51,681
or is it PhotoShop?
257
00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:57,252
I'm pretty sure
Martha Stewart never got naked
258
00:11:57,253 --> 00:12:00,321
with a room full of big,
fat Japanese guys.
259
00:12:00,322 --> 00:12:02,857
You don't know that.
260
00:12:02,858 --> 00:12:05,893
Prison changes people.
261
00:12:07,318 --> 00:12:09,019
Hey, where you been?
262
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:12,221
I told you, walking.
263
00:12:12,222 --> 00:12:13,389
For an hour and a half?
264
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,758
I got lost.
265
00:12:16,893 --> 00:12:19,227
How could you get lost?
Your phone has GPS.
266
00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:23,064
Satellites are down.
Solar flares.
267
00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:24,465
There are no solar flares
right now.
268
00:12:24,466 --> 00:12:25,699
Yes, there are.
269
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,067
Dude, I'm an astrophysicist.
270
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:29,569
If there were solar flares,
I'd be all up in it.
271
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:33,606
I'm sorry. I misspoke.
272
00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:36,475
What I meant to say was
my battery died.
273
00:12:39,045 --> 00:12:40,645
What the hell
was that about?
274
00:12:40,646 --> 00:12:42,113
I don't know.
275
00:12:42,114 --> 00:12:45,482
Do you think this is
really Hillary Clinton
doing it with Oprah?
276
00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:50,019
Oh, we really need
to get you a girl.
277
00:12:53,623 --> 00:12:54,956
SHELDON (knocking):
Leonard.
278
00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:56,124
(knocking)
279
00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:57,325
Leonard.
280
00:12:57,326 --> 00:12:58,592
(knocking)
Leonard.
281
00:12:58,593 --> 00:13:00,026
Oh, just come in!
282
00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:05,201
Thanks for seeing me
on such short notice.
283
00:13:07,738 --> 00:13:09,772
What do you want, Sheldon?
284
00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:12,441
Maybe this isn't a good time.
285
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:16,276
Tell me why you woke me up or I
swear to God I will kill you.
286
00:13:16,277 --> 00:13:18,945
Do you really think
death threats
287
00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:21,113
are an appropriate way
to begin this conversation?
288
00:13:21,114 --> 00:13:25,216
Sometimes your lack
of social skills astonishes me.
289
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:29,286
What do you want?
290
00:13:29,287 --> 00:13:32,489
You may want
to sit down.
291
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:34,291
I'm in bed!
292
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:36,459
Point taken.
293
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:37,761
You may want to sit up.
294
00:13:37,762 --> 00:13:40,495
Sheldon!
295
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:44,131
I've been seeing Penny
behind your back.
296
00:13:51,638 --> 00:13:54,573
Okay...
297
00:13:54,574 --> 00:13:59,477
When you say "seeing Penny,"
what exactly does that mean?
298
00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:01,746
We had dinner last night.
299
00:14:01,747 --> 00:14:04,715
She made me spaghetti with
little hot dogs cut up in it.
300
00:14:04,716 --> 00:14:06,584
Well, little hot dog.
301
00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:09,586
I gave up the other five
hot dogs to a real dog.
302
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:10,920
A real, big dog.
303
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,856
A hell hound.
304
00:14:13,857 --> 00:14:15,558
Tangential to the primary story.
305
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,659
How about I circle back to it?
306
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,794
Fine.
307
00:14:19,795 --> 00:14:21,697
Why did you have dinner
with Penny?
308
00:14:21,698 --> 00:14:23,799
I told you, she made spaghetti
with little hot dogs.
309
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,167
I like spaghetti
with little hot dogs.
310
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:29,369
Then why did you have
Chinese food with us?
311
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:31,203
I didn't want to upset you.
312
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,937
Howard made it very clear
that my allegiance should be
313
00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:38,108
to male comrades before women
who sell their bodies for money.
314
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,216
Is it possible he said,
"Bros before hos"?
315
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:48,853
Yes, but I rephrased it
to avoid offending the hos.
316
00:14:50,622 --> 00:14:54,190
Sheldon, I don't care if you
want to be friends with Penny.
317
00:14:54,191 --> 00:14:58,828
Oh. Well, so the emotional
turmoil that's been keeping me
318
00:14:58,829 --> 00:15:01,864
from achieving REM sleep
was entirely unjustified?
319
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:03,865
Yes.
320
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:07,435
Well... then as my meemaw
would say,
321
00:15:07,436 --> 00:15:10,738
"Looks like we butchered a pig,
but nobody wanted bacon."
322
00:15:13,074 --> 00:15:14,675
I guess not.
323
00:15:14,676 --> 00:15:17,578
And now, as promised,
the tangent.
324
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:21,013
Sheldon and the Hell Hound.
325
00:15:21,014 --> 00:15:23,879
Or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.
326
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:29,984
Oh, um...
(clears throat)
327
00:15:29,985 --> 00:15:31,252
I, I can come back.
328
00:15:31,253 --> 00:15:32,753
D-don't be silly.
329
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:33,854
We're neighbors.
330
00:15:33,855 --> 00:15:35,055
We're going to run
into each other.
331
00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:36,223
May as well get used to it.
332
00:15:36,224 --> 00:15:39,225
Yeah, I guess you're right.
333
00:15:45,231 --> 00:15:46,431
You used to it yet?
334
00:15:46,432 --> 00:15:48,333
Nope.
Me neither.
335
00:15:49,568 --> 00:15:52,736
Oh, Sheldon seemed tthink
that I would be upset
336
00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:53,871
about you hanging out with him.
337
00:15:53,872 --> 00:15:55,405
But I just want you
to know it's fine.
338
00:15:55,406 --> 00:15:58,608
Oh, oh, good, because,
um, his mother called me.
339
00:15:59,643 --> 00:16:01,077
His mother?
340
00:16:01,078 --> 00:16:02,778
Yeah, she wants me
to take him shopping
341
00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:04,613
for sheets and towels.
342
00:16:05,815 --> 00:16:07,315
I was going to do that.
343
00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:10,518
Oh, well, then you...
you do it.
344
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:12,620
No, I don't want to do it.
You can do it.
345
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:14,922
Okay, you can take him
for shoes.
346
00:16:14,923 --> 00:16:16,990
I just took him for shoes.
347
00:16:16,991 --> 00:16:20,092
Well, all I know is
he says they hurt his feet.
348
00:16:22,162 --> 00:16:25,830
Fine. I'll take him
for shoes next Saturday.
349
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:27,898
Oh, no, no, no--
a bunch of us from work
350
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,300
are going to Disneyland
next Saturday
351
00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:30,667
and Sheldon
wants to come.
352
00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:33,403
You're taking him to Disneyland?
353
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,471
Well, he heard me
making plans on the phone.
354
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,007
Was I going to say "no"?
355
00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:40,309
All right.
356
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:42,377
But let me know if you're going
to stuff him with junk food.
357
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:44,245
I don't want to bring home
a nice dinner for him
358
00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:46,447
and see it go to waste.
359
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,283
We're going to Disneyland.
360
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:51,051
He's going to eat junk food.
361
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:54,353
All I'm saying is
give me a heads-up.
362
00:16:54,354 --> 00:16:56,054
Okay, whatever.
363
00:16:57,590 --> 00:17:00,224
And don't let him go
on Space Mountain after he eats.
364
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:02,026
He'll say he can handle it,
but I promise
365
00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:03,994
you'll end up with churro puke
on your shoes.
366
00:17:03,995 --> 00:17:06,896
All right, got it.
Is there anything else?
367
00:17:06,897 --> 00:17:08,297
Yeah, don't let
Goofy near him.
368
00:17:08,298 --> 00:17:11,132
He'll have nightmares
and I'll have to deal with it.
369
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:12,733
What's the problem with Goofy?
370
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:15,902
Wish I knew.
He's fine with Pluto.
371
00:17:21,676 --> 00:17:23,677
Hey, do you think the elastic
woman in The Incredibles
372
00:17:23,678 --> 00:17:25,279
needs to use
birth control
373
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,747
or can she just
be a diaphra?
374
00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:31,885
Well, that's it.
375
00:17:31,886 --> 00:17:33,886
We're officially out
of things to talk about.
376
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,189
We're home.
377
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,059
It's 10:00.
378
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,460
Where have you been?
SHELDON:
We stayed
379
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,862
for the California
Adventure water show.
380
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,231
It was pure Disney magic.
381
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,699
I was going to see that
with him.
382
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,300
How was I supposed
to know that?
383
00:17:50,301 --> 00:17:52,635
It's all right.
I'll see it again with you.
384
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,837
And I have food here.
You said you were ing to call.
385
00:17:54,838 --> 00:17:56,138
I know, I know.
386
00:17:56,139 --> 00:17:57,105
I can still eat.
387
00:17:57,106 --> 00:17:58,273
No, you already threw up once.
388
00:17:58,274 --> 00:18:00,174
Go put on your PJs
and brush your teeth.
389
00:18:02,677 --> 00:18:04,544
Okay, but just don't fight
390
00:18:04,545 --> 00:18:06,680
Wee not fighting.
Just go.
391
00:18:09,584 --> 00:18:11,918
Aren't you going to thank Penny
for taki you to Disneyland?
392
00:18:11,919 --> 00:18:14,286
Thank you, Penny.
393
00:18:15,221 --> 00:18:17,556
You're welcome, sweetie.
394
00:18:17,557 --> 00:18:19,357
Want a cup of coffee?
395
00:18:19,358 --> 00:18:22,693
Oh, um, I should
probably get going.
396
00:18:22,694 --> 00:18:27,030
Come on. It's just
a cup of coffee.
397
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:33,502
(whispering)
398
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:37,639
Uh, yeah, the whole thing seems
a little twisted to me, too.
399
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,774
What am I smelling?
400
00:18:39,775 --> 00:18:42,209
Sheldon's churro
on my shoes.
401
00:18:58,690 --> 00:19:01,357
He's such an angel
when he's asleep.
402
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:03,225
LEONARD:
Yeah.
403
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,394
Shame he has to wake up.
404
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,964
I think we can do it.
405
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,333
Smother Sheldon
in his sleep?
406
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:14,501
Wouldn't that be wrong?
407
00:19:15,236 --> 00:19:18,671
No, be friends.
You and me.
408
00:19:18,672 --> 00:19:21,607
Oh. Sure.
409
00:19:21,608 --> 00:19:23,242
Absolutely.
410
00:19:23,243 --> 00:19:25,611
Good. I'm glad.
411
00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:28,980
Here's aidea.
I'm just throwing it out tre:
412
00:19:28,981 --> 00:19:31,149
friends who have sex.
413
00:19:33,185 --> 00:19:35,519
Good night, Leonard.
414
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,154
Kidding.
415
00:19:37,155 --> 00:19:39,522
Just a couple of friends
goofin' around.
416
00:19:40,457 --> 00:19:42,258
No, Goofy, no.
417
00:19:42,259 --> 00:19:46,094
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --