1 00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:03,590 You know who's got to be the bravest person 2 00:00:03,710 --> 00:00:04,680 in the Marvel Universe? 3 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:07,490 Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax. 4 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:09,970 You want to talk brave, 5 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:13,290 how about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener? 6 00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:15,640 He's not braver than 7 00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:17,770 whoever uses the bathroom after the thing? 8 00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:21,410 As usual, you're all wrong. 9 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,290 The bravest person in the Marvel Universe 10 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:26,730 is the doctor who gives wolverine his prostate exam. 11 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:28,900 How about the guy who gets 12 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,200 a prostate exam from wolverine? 13 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,210 Now you just being silly. 14 00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:35,200 Wolverine's never displayed 15 00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:36,740 the slightest interest in helping others 16 00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:38,560 prevent prostate cancer. 17 00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:43,590 Hello. 18 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,330 Yes, the elevator's out of order 19 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:48,210 you'll have to use the stairs. 20 00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:49,560 Of course you can. 21 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,080 Pizza dates back to the 16th century, 22 00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:55,300 while the first elevator was not installed until 1852. 23 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,930 That means that for over 300 years, 24 00:00:58,090 --> 00:00:59,970 people carried pizzas up stairs. 25 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,660 Be part of that proud tradition. 26 00:01:04,410 --> 00:01:07,200 I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food. 27 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,640 Do you think they gave wolverine an Adamantium prostate? 28 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,800 That's a stupid question. 29 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,950 We're having a conversation about 30 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,330 probing the heinies of superheroes. 31 00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:20,440 There are no stupid questions. 32 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:28,800 Yes? 33 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,480 Oh, um, is Penny here? 34 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:33,640 You're Leonard, right? 35 00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:34,940 Yeah. 36 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,850 Damn, it's good to finally meet you, son. 37 00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:41,860 Okay, I think a bit of context here might help. 38 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,690 Oh, hey, Leonard. I see you met my dad. 39 00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,170 Oh, good. 40 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,240 Context. 41 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,680 Come on in, buddy. 42 00:01:47,830 --> 00:01:48,540 Take a load off. 43 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:49,910 Oh, gee, dad, Leonard can't stay. 44 00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:51,390 He just dropped by to say hello. 45 00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:52,600 Thanks for stopping by, sweetie. 46 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:53,780 I'll see you later. 47 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:57,690 Bye. 48 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,440 That was odd. 49 00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:08,320 * Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state * 50 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,300 * Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! * 51 00:02:12,530 --> 00:02:13,540 * The earth began to cool * 52 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,610 * The autotrophs began to drool, neanderthals developed tools * 53 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,500 * We built the wall, we built the pyramids * 54 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,520 * Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery * 55 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,460 * That all started with a big bang * 56 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:24,350 * Bang! * 57 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,930 Are you sure you have enough comics? 58 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,540 You're going to be monitoring the telescope for 12 hours, 59 00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,340 and by my estimate, you've only selected 60 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:39,290 seven hours of reading material. 61 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:41,460 That's even factoring in 62 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:43,860 your difficulty in parsing American comic book idioms 63 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,840 like "Bamf!" and "Snikt!" 64 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,360 Is that racist? 65 00:02:48,490 --> 00:02:49,580 It feels racist. 66 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:52,310 Don't be oversensitive. 67 00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:54,750 He's calling you illiterate, not your race. 68 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,910 Oh, okay. Good. 69 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,070 I don't need more comics. 70 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,430 Howard's gonna stop by, we're gonna play 71 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,780 intergalactic battleship and Indian Monopoly. 72 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,140 I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly. 73 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,680 I prefer the classics regular and Klingon. 74 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,020 Actually, Indian Monopoly's 75 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,410 just like regular, except the money's in Rupees, 76 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,780 instead of hotels you build call centers, 77 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,520 and when you pick a chance card, you might die of dysentery. 78 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:24,830 Just FYI, 79 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,150 that was racist. 80 00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:30,720 You'll never guess what just happened. 81 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,220 You went out in the hallway, 82 00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:33,660 Stumbled into an interdimensional portal 83 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,170 which brought you 5,000 years into the future, 84 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,160 where you took advantage of the advanced technology 85 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:40,450 to build a time machine, and now you're back 86 00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:42,840 to bring us all with you to the year 7010 87 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:45,040 where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium 88 00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:47,830 by telepathically controlled flying dolphins? 89 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:51,850 No. 90 00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:52,820 Aw. 91 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,110 Penny kissed me. 92 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,950 Well, who would ever guess that? 93 00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,580 What... what kind of a kiss? 94 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,620 A big kiss. On the mouth. 95 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:04,890 Is it possible that she was going for your cheek 96 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:07,500 and you moved and she accidentally got lip? 97 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,070 That happens with me and my mom all the time. 98 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,560 She introduced me to her father, 99 00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:16,840 kissed me and then shut the door in my face. 100 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:18,950 Maybe she was trying to send you a message. 101 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:19,690 You think? 102 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,050 Yeah. "This man is not my father. 103 00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:23,130 I'm being held hostage. 104 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,200 So I'm going to do 105 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,260 something insane in the hopes 106 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,740 that you'll call 911." 107 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:29,430 Penny kissing me is not insane. 108 00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:30,920 She used to kiss me all the time. 109 00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,800 Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing 110 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,170 over and over again and expecting different results." 111 00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:38,670 By that standard, 112 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,810 Penny is cuckoo for cocoa puffs. 113 00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:43,540 I'm just saying, 114 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,620 it felt like it may have meant something. 115 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,360 Ah, this takes me back. 116 00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:49,280 Leonard obsessing about Penny. 117 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,450 I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff, 118 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,120 but once in a while it's nice to hear the hits. 119 00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:55,790 Ooh, ooh! 120 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:59,610 Do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful." 121 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,120 That one always makes me laugh. 122 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,500 Why do I bother talking to you people? 123 00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:10,010 If it'll make you feel better, we rarely listen. 124 00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:12,410 Hey, can I talk to you out here for a sec? 125 00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:13,470 Yeah, sure. 126 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:18,250 I'm starting to think we're never going to see that pizza. 127 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,940 So you're probably wondering what that was all about. 128 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,900 What, uh, the kissing and everything? 129 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:26,200 Nah, women do that to me all the time. 130 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,680 Yeah, okay. The thing is, I kind of 131 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,350 told my father we got back together again. 132 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:32,730 What? Why? 133 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,080 Well, you're the first guy 134 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,520 he's ever really approved of, you know? 135 00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,120 You're a scientist who went to college 136 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,830 and you don't have a neck tattoo 137 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,000 or outstanding warrants or... or a baby. 138 00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:47,770 What kind of guys did you used to go out with? 139 00:05:47,990 --> 00:05:49,010 Just guys. 140 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,560 Anyway, when I told him we split up, he was heartbroken, 141 00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:53,470 and he kept bugging me: "How's Leonard? 142 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,920 why can't you get back together with Leonard? 143 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,120 I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself." 144 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,780 So to get him off my back, 145 00:06:00,930 --> 00:06:02,390 I told him we worked things out. 146 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,610 Really? 147 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:09,680 How... how'd we manage that? 148 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:11,380 What? 149 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:13,670 I mean, did you apologize? 150 00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,170 Did you have to woo me? 151 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,340 Get over yourself. 152 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,020 I whistled, you came running. 153 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,270 Yeah, no, I don't think so. 154 00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:25,450 Okay, why are you arguing about this? 155 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,170 I'm just saying, 156 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,200 if we fake got back together, 157 00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:28,910 that's totally not how it fake happened. 158 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:29,620 Oh... 159 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:30,900 Okay, whatever. 160 00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:32,970 Will you please just play along until my dad leaves? 161 00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:34,270 Hold on, you actually want me 162 00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,430 to deceive your father with some sort of 163 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,180 sham playacting and kissing? 164 00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:34,270 Hold on, you actually want me 165 00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,430 to deceive your father with some sort of 166 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,180 sham playacting and kissing? 167 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,620 Cause I'm good with that. 168 00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:42,350 Penny, you out here? 169 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,900 Come on, honey, not in front of my dad. 170 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,950 Relax, I've seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider. 171 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:57,680 See? 172 00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:58,730 He doesn't mind. 173 00:06:58,860 --> 00:06:59,960 So, Leonard, I'm taking your gal out 174 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,500 for a steak dinner, you want to join us? 175 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,710 Oh, dad, that's nice, but Leonard has to work. 176 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:04,590 Right, Leonard? 177 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,090 Uh, I do, I have to work. 178 00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:07,750 But I'm gonna blow that off to spend the evening 179 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,290 with my sweetie and her father, 'cause, you know, 180 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,030 just the kind of boyfriend I am. 181 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:12,920 Oh. 182 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:15,290 Come here, you. 183 00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:24,410 C-7. 184 00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:26,320 Miss. 185 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:27,260 How could that be a miss? 186 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,210 C-6 was a hit, c-8 was a hit. 187 00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,460 Part of your starship has to be on c-7. 188 00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,510 Not if it has a hole in the middle. 189 00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:39,020 What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle? 190 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,900 A romulan battle bagel? 191 00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:46,430 Knock-knock. 192 00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:47,760 Oh, great, you made it. 193 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:48,930 Come on in. 194 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,070 I invited her. 195 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,960 So where's the telescope? 196 00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:55,730 It's in hawaii, but Raj controls it from here. 197 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,690 He's hoping to see epsilon eridani dim, which would be 198 00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:00,940 evidence of a planet orbiting it. 199 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,860 So we just sit and stare at the screen, 200 00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,660 waiting for something to happen? 201 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:08,160 I did it with you when we rented "The Notebook". 202 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,010 Yes, Gena Rowlands is a treasure. 203 00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:17,660 You'd better open up that bottle of wine 204 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,700 or I'm gonna end up with swimmer's ear. 205 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,350 Excuse me. 206 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,210 I can't be drinking, I'm about to make 207 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,970 an important scientific discovery here. 208 00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:29,430 What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine. 209 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:30,440 How do you know that? 210 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:31,800 Well, he was Italian. 211 00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:33,820 It's a reasonable assumption. 212 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,810 Dude, can you even open your mouth 213 00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:37,820 without spewing a cultural stereotype? 214 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,750 Oh, I... I'm sorry, Galileo drank diet sprite. 215 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,260 Look, you're my best friend, she's my girlfriend, 216 00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:45,530 you should bond. 217 00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:47,410 You know, like you and my mom did. 218 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,050 Your mom creeps the hell out of me. 219 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,940 Yes, but she's stopped calling you slumdog millionaire. 220 00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:56,630 I do appreciate that. 221 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:58,810 Here we go. 222 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,490 I'd like to propose a toast. 223 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,860 To science and friendship. 224 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,660 Hold on. Wait. 225 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,110 No, it's okay, go ahead. 226 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:09,700 What? 227 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:10,800 Oh, I was working with 228 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,980 Penicillin-resistant gonorrhea in the lab today 229 00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:16,220 and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands. 230 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,340 Thanks for the steak, Wyatt. 231 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:25,660 My pleasure. 232 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:27,520 It's nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny's 233 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,320 that knows how to use a napkin. 234 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:31,680 So not funny, dad. 235 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,560 Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with, 236 00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:35,950 This... this fella Donnie. 237 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,240 Oh, will you please let it go? 238 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,660 Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste 239 00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:42,050 into biofuel and selling it to the government. 240 00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,300 A lot of people are doing that. 241 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,090 Oh, see? 242 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:47,060 Yeah, but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water 243 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,270 and pump it into his mom's Camry. 244 00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:51,640 Yeah, that's great. 245 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:53,380 It's a funny story. Moving on. 246 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,520 And Donnie was a rocket scientist compared to that boy 247 00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:57,670 who wanted to get beer pong into the olympics. 248 00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:58,920 What was his name, sweetheart? 249 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:01,330 Curtis, and I'm pretty sure he was joking. 250 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,220 I don't know. 251 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:04,200 That petition looked real to me. 252 00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:06,340 Yeah, okay, I think this ends 253 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,420 the ex-boyfriend portion of our evening. 254 00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:11,160 Well, I'm just glad you finally found yourself a keeper. 255 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,530 Thanks, wyatt. 256 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,300 I'm a keeper. 257 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,430 Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap? 258 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,650 Oh, gee, dad, he'd love to, 259 00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,420 but Leonard has to work in the morning. 260 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:26,330 Maybe I could go in a little late. 261 00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:27,610 No, no, no, you can't. 262 00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:29,660 Your career is far too important. 263 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,800 Behind every great man is a nagging woman 264 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:34,580 who won't let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard? 265 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,710 Don't I know it. 266 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:39,950 Well, good night, son. 267 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,010 Good night, Wyatt. 268 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:42,500 Oh, good night, honey. 269 00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:43,570 Good night. 270 00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:46,950 I love you. 271 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,780 Love you, too. 272 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,680 Oh, friggety-frak. 273 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,290 Not this again. 274 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,130 Three, four, five... pass go, get 2,000 Rupees... 275 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,290 Six, seven. 276 00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:16,700 Whoops. Can't go any further. There's a sacred cow in my way. 277 00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:18,610 Bernadette, please tell your boyfriend 278 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:19,980 to cool it with the cow jokes. 279 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:20,780 It won't help. 280 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,330 Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it. 281 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,260 Yeah. 282 00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:25,890 Like his haircut material. 283 00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:27,870 Oh, right. Did you get your hair cut? 284 00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:29,850 "No. I got them all cut." 285 00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:33,780 Which is still so funny. 286 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,020 And when you go to a Chinese restaurant, 287 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:38,580 he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie. 288 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,140 Right. "Help, I'm a prisoner 289 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,630 in a Chinese fortune cookie factory." 290 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,180 Okay, I think that's enough about me. 291 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,780 He's right. Let's make fun of his mother. 292 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,660 "Howard, come rub my feet! 293 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,890 My corns are killing me!" 294 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:57,930 "Howard, help me out of the tub! 295 00:11:58,070 --> 00:11:59,930 I'm stuck again!" 296 00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:04,890 Coming. 297 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:09,420 Hey, lovebug. 298 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,450 Shut up. 299 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,930 You know what I've been doing for the last hour? 300 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,750 Mm, dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter" 301 00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:19,200 in a notebook? 302 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,490 Listening to my father go on and on 303 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,090 about what a great guy you are. 304 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,690 You got to admit, I am... I'm delightful. 305 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,100 Why are you making this so difficult? 306 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,160 It's not difficult for me. 307 00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:31,730 I'm having fun. 308 00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:33,550 Leonard. 309 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,380 What do you want me to do? You started this. 310 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:37,200 Do you want to go over and tell him we're broken up? 311 00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:38,530 - No. - Well, then, what do you want? 312 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:39,350 I don't know. 313 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,710 Don't you think that's something you should 314 00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:42,850 have figured out before you stomped over here? 315 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,140 Maybe. 316 00:12:45,570 --> 00:12:47,390 Leonard, Penny, excellent. 317 00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:50,210 I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together, 318 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,190 and if I can figure out a way to do so 319 00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,310 and sound sincere, I will. 320 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,290 In the meantime, 321 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,140 I'd like to go over some proposed changes 322 00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,610 to the roommate agreement specifically to address 323 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,760 Penny's annoying personal habits. 324 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,320 Oh, my God. 325 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,130 - What personal habits? - I have a list. 326 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,480 FYI, overuse of the phrase "oh, my god" is number 12. 327 00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,790 Okay, Sheldon, you don't have to do this 328 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,630 - because Leonard and I are not... - Ba-ba-ba-ba. 329 00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:17,410 Are you sure you want to include him in this? 330 00:13:17,570 --> 00:13:18,990 Include me in what? 331 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,410 Is there a plot afoot? 332 00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:22,120 I'll have no truck with plots. 333 00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:24,270 No, you're right. 334 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:27,770 No, there's... There's no plots, no trucks, no feet. 335 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,570 So what other annoying habits shall we discuss? 336 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,840 Uh, we don't discuss anything. 337 00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:35,610 Leonard is the signatory to the Roommate Agreement. 338 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,330 As such, he bears responsibility 339 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,190 for all your infractions and must pay all fines. 340 00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:42,360 - Fines? - Yes. 341 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,940 If Penny's going to be spending nights here again, 342 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,270 you'll need to set up an escrow account. 343 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,490 Sign here. 344 00:13:51,470 --> 00:13:52,510 Hello, Hawaii. 345 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:55,060 This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena. 346 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,680 I'd like you to reposition the telescope, please. 347 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,480 Scarlett Johansson's house! 348 00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,270 I'm kidding, Hawaii. 349 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:05,560 Mahalo. 350 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,470 Whoo! 351 00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:10,600 It might have been a mistake 352 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,920 to open that second bottle of wine. 353 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:14,860 Well, live and learn. 354 00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:17,730 So, Raj, do you think this planet you're looking for 355 00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:20,030 could have an atmosphere that supports life? 356 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:21,060 Maybe. 357 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,350 If it did, I'd be famous. 358 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,040 I'd be on the cover of magazines. 359 00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:26,750 And then, instead of living alone 360 00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:29,310 in my tiny apartment, I'd have a big mansion. 361 00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:30,380 That sounds great. 362 00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:31,290 It is. 363 00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,950 If you like wandering around a big, empty house 364 00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:35,950 with no one to love you. 365 00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:41,070 - We'd come visit you. - No, you wouldn't. 366 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,800 You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame. 367 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,520 My only friends would be 368 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,440 my genetically engineered monkey butler. 369 00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:50,380 And the little people I hired to be my living chess set. 370 00:14:53,510 --> 00:14:55,630 He's taking a turn to the dark side, isn't he? 371 00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:57,400 Hold on. He could come back. 372 00:14:57,550 --> 00:14:59,050 Oh, what's the point of everything? 373 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,390 Nope. He's gone. 374 00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,430 You know it's been more than a year 375 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,430 since i've even kissed a girl? 376 00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:07,050 What about that hookup at Comic-Con you told me about? 377 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,300 Oh, grow up. I was lying. 378 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,920 I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me. 379 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,660 Oh, you poor, poor thing. 380 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,510 Raj, you have to know you're a wonderful man. 381 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,240 There are a lot of girls out there who'll want to kiss you. 382 00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:20,740 Where? 383 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,390 You just have to look. 384 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:27,980 No! 385 00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:39,800 Well, this was fun. 386 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,710 Oh! I think I got a nibble. 387 00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:49,170 Oh, be careful. 388 00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:50,610 Give him some line. 389 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:54,170 Okay, now reel him in. 390 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,530 Oh, look at that baby. 391 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,940 They're really biting, huh? 392 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,340 Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy. 393 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,240 Oh, that's me. 394 00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:06,900 Hello. 395 00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:08,300 Oh, hi, sweetie. 396 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,340 Yeah, I got up early and didn't want to wake you, 397 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:13,460 so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back. 398 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,460 Guess what... We're fishing. 399 00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,430 Yeah. Right here on his couch. 400 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:23,220 Hey, baby. I love you! 401 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,220 That's Leonard 402 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:26,740 says he loves you. 403 00:16:28,390 --> 00:16:29,580 What? 404 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,260 I see. 405 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,650 The whole thing's bull squirt, huh? 406 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,790 Well, that's very disappointing. 407 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,440 Bye. 408 00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:48,630 Oh, hey. 409 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,070 There's been something I've been meaning to tell you. 410 00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:55,030 I can't believe you would lie to me like that. 411 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,760 Just for the record, I did not want to be a part of this. 412 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,150 I'll get to you in a minute. 413 00:16:58,510 --> 00:16:59,610 No hurry. 414 00:17:00,130 --> 00:17:01,990 That my own daughter thinks I don't love her enough 415 00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:03,940 To support her no matter what choices she makes... 416 00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:05,370 Well, that hurts me deeply. 417 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:06,390 - I'm sorry, daddy... - Let me finish. 418 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:07,250 Oh. 419 00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:08,580 I thought we were past the days 420 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,910 when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. 421 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,270 Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri? 422 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:17,230 And the pee stick in your bathroom 423 00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:19,810 Is to check for diabetes? 424 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,750 You know, I'm sorry. 425 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,570 You're a grown woman, and I respect your right 426 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:28,280 To make your own decisions, but all I ask 427 00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,910 is you respect me enough to be honest about them. 428 00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,620 You're right. Look, from now on, I will tell you the truth. 429 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:36,190 Thank you. Now, why don't you go and put some clothes on 430 00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:38,350 and we'll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport. 431 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,790 - Now you. - Daddy, he had nothing to do... 432 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,270 - Keep walking. - Okay. 433 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,910 Please, please, please don't give up on her. 434 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:52,340 What? 435 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,050 I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, 436 00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:56,540 the white rappers and all those 437 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,500 Sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats. 438 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,980 Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir. 439 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:05,460 Then, stack the deck. 440 00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:06,960 Cheat. 441 00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:09,060 Lie. I don't care. 442 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,790 I want grandkids before I die, 443 00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,040 and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels. 444 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,490 I'll give it a shot. 445 00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:22,440 Thank you. 446 00:18:23,090 --> 00:18:25,270 Now I'm going to do something here to help you along. 447 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,860 - Excuse me? - Just don't panic. 448 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,780 Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face 449 00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:31,940 and make sure I never see it again! 450 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,450 Oh, the reverse psychology thing. 451 00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:35,540 I see. That's very clever. 452 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,140 Don't yap. Just get out. 453 00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,540 I'll friend you on Facebook. 454 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,930 Oh, there you are. 455 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,100 Just so you know, I was up all night, 456 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,810 but I have finally completed 457 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,090 The Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement. 458 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:58,910 Yeah, well, not necessary. 459 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,640 We broke up again. 460 00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:15,330 Do you even think about other people, leonard? 461 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:18,930 Do you? 462 00:19:24,910 --> 00:19:26,870 - Hey. - Oh, how'd it go last night? 463 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:29,790 Oh, you know. 464 00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,600 Same old, same old. 465 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,210 Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. 466 00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:34,230 Big whoop. 467 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,080 Really? 468 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,970 You waited months for time with that telescope. 469 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:38,630 What happened? 470 00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:39,640 Why? You writing a book? 471 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,820 I'm going to propose a hypothesis. 472 00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:46,540 Last night, Raj accidentally made contact 473 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,350 With an alien civilization 474 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,330 and has been ordered by the United States government 475 00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:53,090 To keep it a secret. 476 00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:55,780 Nothing happened. 477 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,400 Can we please just change the subject? 478 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,160 That sounds rehearsed. 479 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,040 We are not alone. 480 00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:02,440 Hey. 481 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,860 - Hey. - Hello. 482 00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:05,200 - Hey. - Hey. 483 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,150 You get to play with raj's big telescope last night? 484 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,090 Whoa. 485 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,370 Where did that come from? 486 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:17,730 He never touched my telescope. 487 00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:19,560 Way to go shutting up. 488 00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:20,830 I did shut up. Now you shut up. 489 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:22,460 - Fine. - Thank you. 490 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,000 How come you didn't called me this morning?