1
00:00:10,153 --> 00:00:12,154
Clarify something for me.
2
00:00:12,155 --> 00:00:13,189
Isn't the point
3
00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:15,257
of a communal meal
4
00:00:15,258 --> 00:00:17,893
the exchange of ideas
and opinions?
5
00:00:17,894 --> 00:00:20,629
An opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?
6
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:21,964
It is.
7
00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:23,832
You just kind of put
a damper on things
8
00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:25,467
when you said,
"The next person I see talking
9
00:00:25,468 --> 00:00:28,037
with food in their mouth
will be put to death."
10
00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:31,307
Well, we could argue about
who said what all night long,
11
00:00:31,308 --> 00:00:34,109
but to set things back
on course,
12
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,445
I will propose
a new topic of conversation.
13
00:00:36,446 --> 00:00:37,479
(groans)
(groans)
14
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,480
Great.
15
00:00:38,481 --> 00:00:40,549
What is the best number?
16
00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:44,353
By the way, there's only
one correct answer.
17
00:00:44,354 --> 00:00:48,157
5,318,008?
18
00:00:48,158 --> 00:00:49,358
Wrong.
19
00:00:50,227 --> 00:00:53,495
The best number is 73.
20
00:00:55,665 --> 00:00:57,800
You're probably wondering why.
21
00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,301
No. Uh-uh.
We're good.
22
00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:01,720
73 is the 21st prime number.
23
00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:05,707
Its mirror, 37, is the 12th,
and its mirror, 21,
24
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,409
is the product of multiplying--
25
00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:10,779
hang on to your hats--
seven and three.
26
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:14,783
Eh? Eh? Did I lie?
27
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:15,818
We get it.
28
00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:18,687
73 is the Chuck Norris
of numbers.
29
00:01:18,688 --> 00:01:21,390
Chuck Norris wishes.
30
00:01:21,391 --> 00:01:24,059
In binary, 73 is a palindrome:
31
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,795
"one-zero-zero-
one-zero-zero-one"
32
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:30,266
which backwards is "one-zero-
zero-one-zero-zero-one"--
33
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:31,634
exactly the same.
34
00:01:31,635 --> 00:01:36,038
All Chuck Norris backwards
gets you is: "Sirron Kcuhc."
35
00:01:36,039 --> 00:01:38,073
Just for the record,
36
00:01:38,074 --> 00:01:41,627
when you enter 5,318,008
on a calculator,
37
00:01:41,628 --> 00:01:44,546
upside-down it spells "boobies""
38
00:01:47,584 --> 00:01:48,918
Remember when you were wondering
39
00:01:48,919 --> 00:01:51,086
why the girls didn't
want to eat with us tonight?
40
00:01:51,087 --> 00:01:53,088
Yeah, I get it now.
41
00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:56,725
I love your little
heart locket, Bernadette.
42
00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:58,060
Oh, thanks.
43
00:01:58,061 --> 00:01:59,361
Howard gave it to me.
44
00:01:59,362 --> 00:02:00,696
It's the cutest thing.
45
00:02:00,697 --> 00:02:02,431
Every time I have
dinner with his mom,
46
00:02:02,432 --> 00:02:04,400
the next day I get jewelry.
47
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:07,469
Did you know that the iconic
Valentine's heart shape
48
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,872
is not actually based
on the shape of a human heart,
49
00:02:09,873 --> 00:02:11,507
but rather on the shape
of the buttocks
50
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,242
of a female bending over?
51
00:02:15,245 --> 00:02:18,013
Oh, so I spent seventh grade
52
00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:20,582
dotting my I's
with little asses?
53
00:02:21,318 --> 00:02:22,751
Cool.
54
00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:25,821
Hey, Penny, how's it going?
55
00:02:25,822 --> 00:02:27,723
Hey, Zack,
what are you doing here?
56
00:02:27,724 --> 00:02:29,758
My dad's company prints
the menus for this place.
57
00:02:29,759 --> 00:02:31,360
I'm just dropping off
some new ones laminated.
58
00:02:31,361 --> 00:02:34,096
Makes 'em easier to clean
if people throw up on 'em.
59
00:02:35,265 --> 00:02:36,598
Guess how I got the idea?
60
00:02:36,599 --> 00:02:38,267
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
61
00:02:38,268 --> 00:02:41,737
Uh, Zack, these are
my friends Bernadette and Amy.
62
00:02:41,738 --> 00:02:43,138
- Hi.
- Hey.
63
00:02:43,139 --> 00:02:44,523
Hoo.
64
00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:49,144
Okay, well, it was
good to see you.
65
00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:51,080
Yeah, you, too.
66
00:02:51,081 --> 00:02:52,915
He's really cute.
How do you know him?
67
00:02:52,916 --> 00:02:54,533
Oh, we went out
a couple of times.
68
00:02:54,534 --> 00:02:56,618
I'm often flummoxed
by current slang.
69
00:02:56,619 --> 00:02:59,355
Does "went out" mean
"had intercourse"?
70
00:02:59,356 --> 00:03:01,540
Yes.
No, no.
71
00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:04,059
But in this case, yes.
72
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,561
Interesting.
73
00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,862
And was it not satisfactory?
74
00:03:06,863 --> 00:03:08,397
No, it was great.
75
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:11,266
He just didn't really challenge
me on an intellectual level.
76
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:14,937
Couldn't you just fool around
with him and then listen to NPR?
77
00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:19,408
Wouldn't help. Zack
can't even spell NPR.
78
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:21,510
It's what I do with Howard.
79
00:03:21,511 --> 00:03:23,212
I'm much smarter than he is.
80
00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:25,814
But it's important
to protect his manhood.
81
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:29,684
Hoo.
82
00:03:30,687 --> 00:03:32,221
What's the matter?
83
00:03:32,222 --> 00:03:33,906
I'm suddenly feeling flushed.
84
00:03:33,907 --> 00:03:37,126
My heart rate is elevated,
my palms are clammy,
85
00:03:37,127 --> 00:03:38,360
my mouth is dry.
86
00:03:38,361 --> 00:03:41,830
In addition, I keep
involuntarily saying "hoo."
87
00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:45,534
Oh, we know what's
causing that, don't we?
88
00:03:45,535 --> 00:03:47,202
It's no mystery.
89
00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:48,704
I obviously have the flu
90
00:03:48,705 --> 00:03:51,173
coupled with sudden-onset
Tourette's syndrome.
91
00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:56,095
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
92
00:03:56,096 --> 00:03:59,431
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
93
00:03:59,432 --> 00:04:01,150
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
94
00:04:01,151 --> 00:04:03,602
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
95
00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:06,271
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
96
00:04:06,272 --> 00:04:08,957
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
97
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,892
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
98
00:04:10,893 --> 00:04:11,878
♪ Bang! ♪
99
00:04:11,978 --> 00:04:14,978
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x10 ♪
The Alien Parasite Hypothesis
Original Air Date on December 9, 2010
100
00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:17,278
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
101
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,456
Did you hear about the
accident at the bio lab?
102
00:04:19,556 --> 00:04:20,473
No.
What happened?
103
00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:23,360
They were injecting rats
with radioactive isotopes
104
00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:25,296
and one of the techs got bit.
105
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,798
Did he get superpowers?
106
00:04:29,334 --> 00:04:33,337
No, he got five stitches
and a tetanus shot.
107
00:04:33,338 --> 00:04:36,140
Oh. Well, that's disappointing.
108
00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:37,708
Why?
109
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:39,777
Well, you get bit by a
radioactive animal in a lab,
110
00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:42,413
you kind of want to turn
into a superhero.
111
00:04:42,414 --> 00:04:45,616
Yeah, but who'd want
to become Rat-Man?
112
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,918
Who wouldn't?
113
00:04:47,919 --> 00:04:51,455
You could zip through
a maze in nothing flat,
114
00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:53,290
squeeze through
really small holes,
115
00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:56,327
and shut down restaurants
in a single bound.
116
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:58,395
And the best part is,
if I were Rat-Man,
117
00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:00,664
you could be my
sidekick, Mouse Boy.
118
00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,371
Mouse Boy?
119
00:05:07,372 --> 00:05:08,806
You don't like "Mouse Boy"?
120
00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:10,908
How about "Kid Vermin"?
121
00:05:10,909 --> 00:05:12,877
First of all,
if we had superpowers,
122
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:15,546
I wouldn't be the sidekick.
You'd be the sidekick.
123
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:18,382
Rat-Man is nobody's sidekick.
124
00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:20,034
Leonard, settle this.
125
00:05:20,035 --> 00:05:22,286
Of the two of us, who's
the obvious sidekick?
126
00:05:22,287 --> 00:05:23,687
Yeah, Leonard, who?
127
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:30,227
12 years after high school,
and I'm still at the nerd table.
128
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:37,101
Aren't you slicing that
man's brain a little too thin?
129
00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:43,974
It's too thin if I were making
130
00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:46,143
a foot-long brain sandwich
at Quiznos.
131
00:05:46,144 --> 00:05:50,915
For examination under a two-
photon microscope, it's fine.
132
00:05:55,053 --> 00:05:56,754
Well, you're the expert.
133
00:05:56,755 --> 00:06:00,758
If the correct way to do it
is the wrong way, then I yield.
134
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:01,959
Very well.
135
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,211
If you die and donate
your body to science,
136
00:06:04,212 --> 00:06:06,263
I promise to slice your brain
like Canadian bacon.
137
00:06:06,264 --> 00:06:08,232
Thank you.
138
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:09,833
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
139
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:12,653
I have to take my temperature.
140
00:06:12,654 --> 00:06:15,172
Are you monitoring
your circadian rhythms
141
00:06:15,173 --> 00:06:18,375
in order to identify your periods
of maximum mental acuity?
142
00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:20,210
I did that one summer.
143
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:22,012
Ah, youth.
144
00:06:22,013 --> 00:06:25,883
No, I experienced some
distressing symptoms last night,
145
00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:27,785
so I'm checking
my vital signs every hour.
146
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:29,820
I'd be happy to create a chart
147
00:06:29,821 --> 00:06:32,523
and participate in a
differential diagnosis.
148
00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:34,591
Oh, that sounds like fun.
149
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:39,096
All right.
150
00:06:39,097 --> 00:06:40,698
What were the symptoms?
151
00:06:40,699 --> 00:06:44,601
Elevated heart rate,
moist palms, dry mouth
152
00:06:44,602 --> 00:06:47,571
and localized
vascular throbbing.
153
00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:52,242
Localized to what region?
154
00:06:52,243 --> 00:06:55,913
Ears and genitalia.
155
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:58,148
Interesting.
156
00:06:58,149 --> 00:07:00,851
Not body parts
that usually team up.
157
00:07:03,688 --> 00:07:05,622
What about
environmental factors?
158
00:07:05,623 --> 00:07:07,524
Describe the scene for me.
159
00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:09,793
I was sitting in a restaurant
with Penny and Bernadette,
160
00:07:09,794 --> 00:07:12,663
drinking water-- carbonated
as it was a special occasion.
161
00:07:12,664 --> 00:07:18,302
Penny's friend Zack stopped by
and said hello and I said "hoo."
162
00:07:18,303 --> 00:07:19,503
Who?
163
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:20,804
Zack.
164
00:07:20,805 --> 00:07:23,040
Then why did you ask?
165
00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:25,175
Ask what?
Who.
166
00:07:25,176 --> 00:07:26,977
Zack.
167
00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:30,080
All right, let's start over.
168
00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:32,182
What did you say
when Zack walked in?
169
00:07:32,183 --> 00:07:34,818
"Hoo."
Zack.
170
00:07:34,819 --> 00:07:36,587
Why do you keep saying "Zack"?
171
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,255
Because you keep saying "who."
172
00:07:38,256 --> 00:07:39,790
I'm not saying "hoo" now.
173
00:07:39,791 --> 00:07:40,924
I said "hoo" last night.
174
00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:43,260
And the answer was Zack,
correct?
175
00:07:43,261 --> 00:07:45,062
There was no question.
176
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:46,864
I simply said "hoo."
177
00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:51,168
All right, I think
I have enough to go on.
178
00:07:51,169 --> 00:07:55,239
Possible explanations
for your symptoms are,
179
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,541
in descending order
of likelihood:
180
00:07:57,542 --> 00:08:00,177
hyperthyroidism,
premature menopause,
181
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:03,480
hosting an alien parasite or--
182
00:08:03,481 --> 00:08:05,816
and I only include it
for the sake of covering
183
00:08:05,817 --> 00:08:09,686
absolutely all bases--
sexual arousal.
184
00:08:12,061 --> 00:08:14,016
Where would I have picked up
an alien parasite?
185
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,124
There you are.
186
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:19,650
Oh, hey.
187
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,652
Let me ask you a question.
What are you most afraid of?
188
00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:24,254
I don't know. Um...
189
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:25,455
Nuclear war.
190
00:08:25,456 --> 00:08:26,990
Accidentally being
buried alive.
191
00:08:26,991 --> 00:08:28,992
Any of those movies where
you get that phone call
192
00:08:28,993 --> 00:08:30,293
that says you're
going to die.
193
00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:32,362
And then you do.
194
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:34,197
No. Something very specific
195
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,432
that we both know you,
196
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:38,268
Rajesh Koothrappali,
are terrified of.
197
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:41,104
Well, type two diabetes
runs in my family.
198
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,238
The thought of
losing a toe...
199
00:08:42,239 --> 00:08:44,224
Spiders!
You're afraid of spiders!
200
00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:46,743
What the heck is this?
201
00:08:46,744 --> 00:08:49,179
A jar with a big spider
in it, of course.
202
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,181
Bravery test.
203
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:55,218
First one to take his hand out
is the sidekick.
204
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,887
Are you crazy?
205
00:08:57,888 --> 00:08:59,756
Perhaps.
206
00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:02,158
Are you scared?
207
00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:04,427
No. But it's a stupid test.
208
00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:07,363
Oh, really?
What if the earth was in danger
209
00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:08,515
and the only way to save it was
210
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,434
to stick your hand
in a jar with a spider?
211
00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:12,969
Oh, yeah?
What if the earth was in danger
212
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,537
and the only way
to save it was to take a shower
213
00:09:14,538 --> 00:09:17,173
in the locker room and let
other guys see you naked?
214
00:09:19,043 --> 00:09:21,511
Oh, come on.
That's never gonna happen.
215
00:09:21,512 --> 00:09:24,147
Put your hand
in the jar
216
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,616
or forever be revealed
as my sidekick.
217
00:09:26,617 --> 00:09:29,436
All right, I will.
218
00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:33,656
How did you get so brave
all of a sudden?
219
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,824
It's easy.
220
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,226
The spider's crawling
up your arm.
221
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,062
(screaming)
222
00:09:42,383 --> 00:09:43,900
Get it off! Get it off!
223
00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:46,169
Please, Raj!
224
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,904
(screaming)
225
00:09:47,905 --> 00:09:49,739
Please.
226
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,174
Oh!
227
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,176
(blowing forcefully)
228
00:09:54,311 --> 00:09:56,946
My blood work shows
thyroid function normal.
229
00:09:56,947 --> 00:09:58,348
Cortisol levels normal.
230
00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,916
How about your
231
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:02,085
follicle-stimulating hormone
levels?
232
00:10:02,086 --> 00:10:04,854
Sheldon, I am not going
through menopause.
233
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,489
Are you sure?
234
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:10,393
You said that with
the testy bark of an old biddy.
235
00:10:10,394 --> 00:10:13,663
I think we need
to face the cold, hard truth:
236
00:10:13,664 --> 00:10:17,433
I was sexually aroused
by Penny's friend Zack.
237
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,102
Hang on. I don't know
238
00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:21,304
that we've given
the alien parasite hypothesis
239
00:10:21,305 --> 00:10:23,406
a fair shake.
240
00:10:23,407 --> 00:10:24,474
Let's look at this logically.
241
00:10:24,475 --> 00:10:26,409
I have a stomach; I get hungry.
242
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:29,512
I have genitals; I have the
potential for sexual arousal.
243
00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:32,482
A cross we all must bear.
244
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,587
You know, in difficult
moments like this,
245
00:10:37,588 --> 00:10:40,590
I often turn to a force
greater than myself.
246
00:10:40,591 --> 00:10:41,591
Religion?
247
00:10:41,592 --> 00:10:42,792
Star Trek.
248
00:10:43,794 --> 00:10:46,196
Did you see
Star Trek: The Motion Picture?
249
00:10:46,197 --> 00:10:48,231
No.
Don't. It's terrible. However...
250
00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,733
in it, we learn that
251
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,770
when Spock finds himself
drawn off the path of logic
252
00:10:53,771 --> 00:10:57,640
by feelings bubbling up from his
human half, he suppresses them
253
00:10:57,641 --> 00:11:00,410
using the Vulcan mental
discipline of Kolinar.
254
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:02,512
Are you suggesting
we live our lives
255
00:11:02,513 --> 00:11:05,114
guided by the philosophies
found in cheap science fiction?
256
00:11:05,115 --> 00:11:07,250
"Cheap science fiction"?
257
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,523
What are you doing?
258
00:11:13,524 --> 00:11:19,996
Using Kolinar to suppress
my anger at that last comment.
259
00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:22,565
Is it possible that your
concern for me at this moment
260
00:11:22,566 --> 00:11:25,168
is motivated by nothing more
than simple jealousy?
261
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,104
I hadn't considered that.
262
00:11:28,806 --> 00:11:31,007
Give me a moment.
263
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,410
All right, I've considered it.
264
00:11:34,411 --> 00:11:37,213
And?
I reject it.
265
00:11:37,214 --> 00:11:40,149
You reject it because
you don't feel jealousy,
266
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:42,285
or because you are
suppressing jealousy?
267
00:11:43,754 --> 00:11:46,289
I think
I'll eat my lunch at home.
268
00:11:48,158 --> 00:11:49,659
That's not your
lunch, Sheldon;
269
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:53,062
those are the cadaver
brain specimens.
270
00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,430
Oh.
271
00:11:54,431 --> 00:11:57,183
As they were incorrectly sliced,
272
00:11:57,184 --> 00:12:00,403
you can see how I could
mistake them for my sashimi.
273
00:12:06,123 --> 00:12:07,441
Hello.
274
00:12:07,517 --> 00:12:10,736
Hey. Isn't tomorrow
your usual laundry night?
275
00:12:10,737 --> 00:12:13,905
The supermarket was out of
my regular fabric softener.
276
00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:16,658
If this one under-
or over-softens,
277
00:12:16,659 --> 00:12:19,444
I'll need time
to make things right.
278
00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:21,146
That's thinking ahead.
279
00:12:21,147 --> 00:12:24,499
The alternative would be
to think backwards.
280
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,118
That's just remembering.
281
00:12:28,087 --> 00:12:29,121
So how's Amy?
282
00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:31,490
Amy's changed.
283
00:12:31,491 --> 00:12:33,959
I might have to let her go.
284
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,560
Oh, no. Why?
285
00:12:35,561 --> 00:12:38,296
I thought she was
a highly evolved creature
286
00:12:38,297 --> 00:12:40,399
of pure intellect, like me.
287
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,217
But recent events indicate that
288
00:12:42,218 --> 00:12:44,686
she may be a slave
to her baser urges.
289
00:12:44,687 --> 00:12:46,705
Like you.
290
00:12:47,907 --> 00:12:50,575
Just going to
skip over that insult.
291
00:12:50,576 --> 00:12:53,028
What insult?
292
00:12:53,029 --> 00:12:56,114
Yeah. That's why
I'm going to skip over it.
293
00:12:56,115 --> 00:12:57,983
Are you saying that Amy is...
294
00:12:57,984 --> 00:13:00,986
oh, what's the
scientific word...
295
00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:03,755
Forget science. She's horny.
296
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:07,743
Oh! Okay. Wow.
297
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:11,096
It's simple biology. There's
nothing I can do about it.
298
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:17,436
Are you sure?
299
00:13:18,504 --> 00:13:19,938
What are you suggesting?
300
00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:23,575
I'm suggesting there
might be something
301
00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:27,012
you could do about...
Amy's urges?
302
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:33,752
It's illegal to spay
a human being.
303
00:13:36,322 --> 00:13:38,557
Yeah. That's not
what I had in mind.
304
00:13:38,558 --> 00:13:40,025
Oh.
305
00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:42,627
Oh!
306
00:13:42,628 --> 00:13:45,297
You mean...
something I could do.
307
00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:46,364
Exactly.
308
00:13:46,365 --> 00:13:51,203
Well, I was hoping
to avoid this.
309
00:13:51,204 --> 00:13:54,206
But I might as well
get it over with.
310
00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,407
Thank you, Penny.
311
00:13:56,408 --> 00:13:58,643
I'll let you
know what happens.
312
00:14:01,597 --> 00:14:05,217
Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.
313
00:14:06,419 --> 00:14:09,821
Yes. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
314
00:14:09,822 --> 00:14:11,389
Is this the Zack Johnson
315
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:14,259
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny?
316
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:18,263
Sorry to bother you.
317
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:27,205
Hello. I'm looking
for a Zack Johnson
318
00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:30,742
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny.
319
00:14:30,743 --> 00:14:32,844
Coitus. It means intercourse.
320
00:14:32,845 --> 00:14:36,515
And I have a feeling I'm
speaking to the right Zack.
321
00:14:36,516 --> 00:14:38,750
This is Sheldon Cooper.
322
00:14:38,751 --> 00:14:40,619
Fine. Shelly.
323
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:44,156
Yes, that does
sound like a girl's name.
324
00:14:44,157 --> 00:14:46,124
No, it doesn't bother me.
325
00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:49,060
Yes, "Smelly Shelly"
does bother me.
326
00:14:49,061 --> 00:14:50,462
Let me tell you why I'm calling.
327
00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:52,464
I'd like to know
if you'd be interested
328
00:14:52,465 --> 00:14:56,101
in having sex
with Amy Farrah Fowler.
329
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:58,503
Amy Farrah Fowler.
330
00:14:58,504 --> 00:15:00,906
Yes, that is a girl's name.
331
00:15:00,907 --> 00:15:04,693
Good grief. It's like trying
to talk to a dolphin.
332
00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:07,846
Really?
333
00:15:07,847 --> 00:15:11,116
This is going to decide who's
the hero and who's the sidekick?
334
00:15:20,259 --> 00:15:21,359
You got a better idea?
335
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,797
Every idea is better
than this idea.
336
00:15:25,798 --> 00:15:26,998
Ding!
337
00:15:26,999 --> 00:15:29,834
Wait. What the hell is "ding"?
It's a bell.
338
00:15:29,835 --> 00:15:31,436
I don't think this
kind of wrestling has a bell.
339
00:15:31,437 --> 00:15:33,271
Fine. How do you
want to start?
340
00:15:33,272 --> 00:15:35,407
I say, uh, how about
one, two, three, go?
341
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:38,043
One-two-three-go?
That's for babies.
342
00:15:38,044 --> 00:15:40,078
Okay, how about, uh...
343
00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:41,513
On your mark, get set, go?
344
00:15:41,514 --> 00:15:42,864
That's for a footrace.
If you want to race,
345
00:15:42,865 --> 00:15:44,182
we have to go outside.
346
00:15:44,183 --> 00:15:46,985
No, it's chilly outside.
Didn't bring my jacket.
347
00:15:48,454 --> 00:15:49,704
Oh, for crying out loud.
348
00:15:49,705 --> 00:15:52,023
What kind of superhero
needs a jacket?
349
00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:54,409
What kind of superhero says,
"Dibs on the red tights!
350
00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:56,127
Dibs on the red tights!"
351
00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:59,097
All right, how about this?
Ready, wrestle.
352
00:15:59,098 --> 00:16:01,700
Wait. Are we starting now? Or
is that what you're going to say
353
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:03,001
when we do start, or...
We're starting now!
354
00:16:03,002 --> 00:16:05,170
Don't yell at me!
355
00:16:12,411 --> 00:16:15,647
Suppose there are worse ways
to spend a Friday night.
356
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,684
None come to mind.
357
00:16:23,256 --> 00:16:27,292
Look at this stamp.
On what authority
358
00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:30,695
are they permitted to
mutilate patrons as they enter?
359
00:16:30,696 --> 00:16:32,747
I'm sure it'll wash off.
360
00:16:32,748 --> 00:16:34,366
Little comfort tonight.
361
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:36,434
I look like a Hell's Angel.
362
00:16:37,803 --> 00:16:39,904
There's Zack.
363
00:16:39,905 --> 00:16:42,574
Are you sure this is
what you want to do?
364
00:16:42,575 --> 00:16:44,476
It's not what I want to do;
365
00:16:44,477 --> 00:16:47,345
it's what I have to do.
366
00:16:47,346 --> 00:16:50,448
Go, Amy Farrah Fowler.
367
00:16:50,449 --> 00:16:52,617
Follow your endocrine system.
368
00:16:53,686 --> 00:16:55,287
Thank you, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.
369
00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:56,755
Please don't drag this out.
370
00:17:01,193 --> 00:17:04,262
This is never going to come off.
371
00:17:04,263 --> 00:17:06,731
Excuse me?
372
00:17:06,732 --> 00:17:09,534
Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler.
We met the other night.
373
00:17:09,535 --> 00:17:12,771
I have spent my life in
pursuit of pure knowledge.
374
00:17:12,772 --> 00:17:14,506
Until I met you,
my decisions
375
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:16,408
were founded in
logic and reason.
376
00:17:16,409 --> 00:17:19,878
And yet here I stand before you,
130 pounds of raging estrogen,
377
00:17:19,879 --> 00:17:22,213
longing to grab hold
of your gluteus maximus
378
00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:23,715
and make Shakespeare's
metaphorical
379
00:17:23,716 --> 00:17:26,651
beast with two backs.
380
00:17:28,137 --> 00:17:30,455
My gluteus what?
381
00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:32,791
On the other hand,
382
00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:35,427
as I look at the blank, ape-like
expression on your face,
383
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:38,363
I have decided to adopt the
Vulcan practice of Kolinar.
384
00:17:39,465 --> 00:17:41,933
Good-bye, Zack.
Bye.
385
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:44,152
(ecstatically):
Hoo.
386
00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:49,841
That should hold me for a while.
387
00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:49,841
388
00:18:00,186 --> 00:18:01,486
I'm legally obligated
to inform you
389
00:18:01,487 --> 00:18:05,840
that I took a karate lesson
when I was 11.
390
00:18:05,841 --> 00:18:07,759
I'd be a regular ninja by now
391
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,511
if my mom could've
arranged a carpool.
392
00:18:10,629 --> 00:18:12,180
Oh, yeah?
393
00:18:12,181 --> 00:18:14,299
Well, I've been taking
Pilates class at the rec center,
394
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:17,185
and my abs look like
sections of a Hershey bar.
395
00:18:17,186 --> 00:18:19,220
Oh, yeah? Won't matter,
you're going down!
396
00:18:19,221 --> 00:18:20,972
No, uh-uh, you're going down!
397
00:18:20,973 --> 00:18:23,007
If anybody's going to go down,
it's going to be you.
398
00:18:23,008 --> 00:18:27,779
Fellas. It's been 30 minutes.
Nobody's touched each other.
399
00:18:28,948 --> 00:18:32,984
I'm glad you decided to reject
your animal hindbrain
400
00:18:32,985 --> 00:18:35,620
and return to the
realm of pure intellect.
401
00:18:35,621 --> 00:18:37,789
As am I.
402
00:18:39,992 --> 00:18:41,543
What are you doing?
403
00:18:41,544 --> 00:18:43,712
An experiment.
404
00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:47,265
Nope. Nothing.
Never mind.
405
00:18:56,684 --> 00:18:58,068
You realize you can't win.
406
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,872
I prefer to think
that I can't lose.
407
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,776
You're wrong.
408
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:07,011
It's only a matter of time
409
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:10,948
before you fall into
Rat-Man's rat trap.
410
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,416
You pathetic fool!
411
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,386
If there were a rat-catcher,
wouldn't it catch Rat-Man?
412
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,788
Just because I didn't
express myself well
413
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:20,174
doesn't mean my
underlying point was invalid!
414
00:19:20,175 --> 00:19:21,976
You bloviating buffoon!
415
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:24,461
You narcissistic nincompoop!
416
00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:26,130
You crimson coward!
417
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:27,532
Oh, Leonard, wake up,
418
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,317
you're missing some very
excellent superhero quips.
419
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:32,636
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==