1
00:00:01,933 --> 00:00:03,599
Here's what I wonder
about zombies.
2
00:00:03,692 --> 00:00:05,592
(others groaning)
3
00:00:05,593 --> 00:00:08,495
What happens if they can't get
any human flesh to eat?
4
00:00:08,496 --> 00:00:11,698
They can't starve to death--
they're already dead.
5
00:00:11,699 --> 00:00:14,601
You take this one.
I spent an hour last night on
6
00:00:14,602 --> 00:00:16,102
"How do vampires shave
7
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,204
when they can't see
themselves in the mirror"?
8
00:00:19,373 --> 00:00:21,007
Well-groomed vampires
meet in pairs
9
00:00:21,008 --> 00:00:23,142
and shave each other--
case closed.
10
00:00:24,377 --> 00:00:26,712
Yeah, okay, so, zombies.
11
00:00:26,713 --> 00:00:28,714
I guess it depends
on the zombies, Raj.
12
00:00:28,715 --> 00:00:30,516
Are we talking slow zombies,
fast zombies?
13
00:00:30,517 --> 00:00:32,718
Like, in 28 Days,
if those zombies didn't eat,
14
00:00:32,719 --> 00:00:33,986
they starved.
You're thinking
15
00:00:33,987 --> 00:00:35,588
of 28 Days Later.
16
00:00:35,589 --> 00:00:37,622
28 Days is where
Sandra Bullock goes to rehab
17
00:00:37,623 --> 00:00:40,391
and puts the audience
into an undead state
18
00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:42,834
Hey, don't bag
on Sandra Bullock!
19
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:44,703
You think it makes you
look cultured,
20
00:00:44,704 --> 00:00:47,506
but you just
come off as bitter.
21
00:00:47,507 --> 00:00:50,509
Oh, Dr. Siebert,
twelve o'clock.
22
00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,811
WOLOWITZ:
Why's the president
of the university
23
00:00:52,812 --> 00:00:54,812
slumming in the cafeteria?
24
00:00:54,813 --> 00:00:56,914
Perhaps he's emulating
Shakespeare's Henry V,
25
00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:59,316
who dressed as a commoner
and mingled among them,
26
00:00:59,317 --> 00:01:02,352
to find out how he was being
perceived by his subjects.
27
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,387
Of course, if he'd
28
00:01:03,388 --> 00:01:05,155
have read any
of the 1,300 e-mails
29
00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:07,190
I've sent him on the subject
of his administration,
30
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:08,443
he could have saved himself
the trouble.
31
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,474
Or maybe he heard it's
Tator Tot Tuesday.
32
00:01:11,475 --> 00:01:13,010
That's why I'm here.
33
00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:16,379
Hey, there's
my favorite geniuses!
34
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,381
How are we doing today?
35
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,783
That depends--
how much longer
36
00:01:19,784 --> 00:01:22,519
do you plan on
fondling my shoulder?
37
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,521
Sorry, Dr. Cooper, I forgot
you have a touch phobia.
38
00:01:25,522 --> 00:01:27,923
It's not a touch phobia,
it's a germ phobia.
39
00:01:27,924 --> 00:01:30,693
If you'd like to go put on
a pair of latex gloves,
40
00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,594
I'll let you check me
for a hernia.
41
00:01:32,595 --> 00:01:34,396
SIEBERT:
Yeah.
42
00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:37,166
So, listen, fellas, who's up
for a little party this Saturday night?
43
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:40,369
Open bar, good eats, might
even be a few pretty girls.
44
00:01:40,370 --> 00:01:41,569
Sounds great!
I'm in!
45
00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:43,004
Hold on.
46
00:01:43,005 --> 00:01:45,106
Just because the nice man
is offering you candy,
47
00:01:45,107 --> 00:01:47,408
doesn't mean you should jump
into his windowless van.
48
00:01:48,944 --> 00:01:51,312
What's the occasion?
49
00:01:51,313 --> 00:01:53,514
Just a little fund-raiser
for the university.
50
00:01:53,515 --> 00:01:57,151
Aha! The tear-stained air
mattress in the back of the van.
51
00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,019
I understand
your reticence, Dr. Cooper,
52
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,254
and I sympathize,
but the hard facts are,
53
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,523
occasionally,
we have to shake a few hands
54
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,626
and kiss a few butts
to raise money for our research.
55
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,476
I don't care;
it's demeaning.
56
00:02:08,477 --> 00:02:10,879
And I refuse to be
trotted out and shown off
57
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,114
like a prize hog
at the Texas State Fair.
58
00:02:13,115 --> 00:02:15,749
Which, by the way, is something
you don't want to attend
59
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:18,286
wearing a Star Trek
ensign's uniform.
60
00:02:18,287 --> 00:02:19,420
SIEBERT:
All right,
61
00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:20,888
let me put it this way.
62
00:02:20,889 --> 00:02:23,590
You're gonna put on a suit,
you're gonna come to this party,
63
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,293
and you're gonna
explain your research
64
00:02:25,294 --> 00:02:26,760
to a bunch of old people,
65
00:02:26,761 --> 00:02:29,762
or I swear to God,
I'll blind you with a hot spoon,
66
00:02:29,763 --> 00:02:33,033
like they did to that little boy
in Slumdog Millionaire.
67
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:35,001
Oh, you don't want that.
68
00:02:35,002 --> 00:02:37,404
So, Saturday night!
69
00:02:37,405 --> 00:02:39,205
It's gonna be
off the hook.
Ugh!
70
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,206
Get over it.
71
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:43,876
Oh, boy!
72
00:02:43,877 --> 00:02:45,911
Tator tots and
a party invitation?
73
00:02:45,912 --> 00:02:47,712
What a great day!
74
00:02:49,482 --> 00:02:53,085
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
75
00:02:53,086 --> 00:02:56,288
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
76
00:02:56,289 --> 00:02:57,923
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
77
00:02:57,924 --> 00:03:00,826
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
78
00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,294
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
79
00:03:03,295 --> 00:03:04,929
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
80
00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:07,465
♪ That all started
with a big bang-- Bang! ♪
81
00:03:07,466 --> 00:03:11,168
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x15 ♪
The Benefactor Factor
Original Air Date on February 10, 2011
82
00:03:11,169 --> 00:03:14,669
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
83
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:16,551
There you go.
84
00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:22,822
Are you sure
this is right?
85
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:26,960
Yeah, just tuck that
part in your pants; you'll be fine.
86
00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:31,998
Okay, let's go smooch some
rich, wrinkled tochis.
87
00:03:31,999 --> 00:03:34,167
Oh, Howard, I can't believe
Bernadette let you go
88
00:03:34,168 --> 00:03:36,101
to a fancy party
wearing a dickey.
89
00:03:36,102 --> 00:03:39,304
Excuse me, my girlfriend
doesn't pick out my clothes.
90
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,574
(quietly):
My mother does.
91
00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:43,278
Oh. We should
get going.
92
00:03:43,322 --> 00:03:44,389
What about Sheldon?
93
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,467
Sheldon is not going.
94
00:03:46,538 --> 00:03:48,305
Really? What do we tell Siebert?
95
00:03:48,953 --> 00:03:52,255
Tell him Dr. Cooper feels
that the best use of his time
96
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:55,106
is to employ his rare
and precious mental faculties
97
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:58,861
to tear the mask off nature
and stare at the face of God.
98
00:04:00,431 --> 00:04:03,366
Sheldon, it's Saturday night,
you'll be doing laundry.
99
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:06,836
Don't tell him that,
tell him the mask thing.
100
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:12,374
(mellow jazz playing quietly)
101
00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:14,776
Hey, put your tie
back in your pants.
102
00:04:14,777 --> 00:04:16,445
(grunts)
103
00:04:16,446 --> 00:04:18,046
Nice place.
104
00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:20,649
Reminds me of my parents'
house back in New Delhi.
105
00:04:20,650 --> 00:04:22,818
- You're kidding.
- No. We are very wealthy.
106
00:04:22,819 --> 00:04:25,919
But the only difference is,
we have more servants.
107
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,699
- More than this?
- More than we can use.
108
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,161
You see, in India,
we don't make the mistake
109
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,669
of letting our poor people
have dreams.
110
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:36,029
Ah. There's my band
of brainiacs.
111
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,130
Where's Dr. Cooper?
112
00:04:37,131 --> 00:04:38,699
(sighs)
113
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:43,002
He's tearing the mask off nature
to look at the face of God.
114
00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:45,672
The board of directors insists
he has a beautiful mind.
115
00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:47,006
I think he's just bananas.
116
00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:49,376
Come on, let me introduce you
117
00:04:49,377 --> 00:04:51,143
to one of the university's
leading donors.
118
00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:56,915
I think we were misled
about the cute girls.
119
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:59,418
Mrs. Latham, I'd like
you to meet three
120
00:04:59,419 --> 00:05:00,886
of our outstanding
young researchers.
121
00:05:00,887 --> 00:05:02,454
This is Dr. Leonard
Hofstadter,
122
00:05:02,455 --> 00:05:05,891
Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali
and Howard Wolowitz.
123
00:05:05,892 --> 00:05:07,393
Well, what happened
to you, Wolowitz,
124
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,262
couldn't stick with it
long enough to get your PhD?
125
00:05:10,263 --> 00:05:12,096
I'm an engineer.
126
00:05:12,097 --> 00:05:14,064
Most engineers
don't bother with a PhD.
127
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:15,900
But you may be
interested to know
128
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:19,203
I designed the zero-gravity
waste-disposal system for NASA.
129
00:05:19,204 --> 00:05:21,363
Got it--
you're a space plumber.
130
00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:26,149
I'm gonna go hit the bar.
131
00:05:27,779 --> 00:05:29,846
Tell me about
these two.
132
00:05:29,847 --> 00:05:32,348
- Do him first.
- Dr. Hofstadter
133
00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:34,818
is representing our
experimental physics
program tonight.
134
00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:36,185
I think you'll
really enjoy
135
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,387
hearing about his
fascinating work.
136
00:05:37,388 --> 00:05:38,455
Right.
137
00:05:38,456 --> 00:05:40,189
Fascinate me.
138
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,793
(stammering)
139
00:05:42,794 --> 00:05:45,994
They're cute when they're about
to wet themselves, aren't they?
140
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:47,996
I'll make it
easy for you.
141
00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:49,998
When you arrive at the lab
in the morning,
142
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,801
what sort of machine
do you turn on?
143
00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,137
Coffee maker?
144
00:05:55,138 --> 00:05:58,941
All right, Dr. Kooth--
uh, whatever it is-- you're up.
145
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,475
It's Koothrappal
146
00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:02,477
I have to tinkle.
147
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,342
And so, instead
of bowing to pressure,
148
00:06:08,343 --> 00:06:10,378
and going to that
pointless soiree,
149
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:13,881
I stayed right here
and did a load of whites.
150
00:06:13,882 --> 00:06:17,650
Well, normally I respect
your macho rebellious attitude
151
00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,386
toward "The Man,"
152
00:06:19,387 --> 00:06:23,190
but, in this case, I think
you've made a foolish mistake.
153
00:06:23,191 --> 00:06:24,856
Unlikely.
154
00:06:25,925 --> 00:06:27,226
But make your case.
155
00:06:27,227 --> 00:06:29,728
Keeping in mind that
your critical attitude
156
00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:31,730
is ruining our
Saturday night together,
157
00:06:31,731 --> 00:06:34,500
and I'm not above
minimizing your window.
158
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,835
Sheldon, like it or not,
159
00:06:36,836 --> 00:06:39,271
until you manage
to upload your intelligence
160
00:06:39,272 --> 00:06:41,239
into a self-sustaining
orbiting satellite,
161
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,608
equipped with high-speed
Internet and a cloaking device,
162
00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:46,911
you will be dependent on other
members of the human race.
163
00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:49,680
That's it.
Prepare to be minimized.
164
00:06:49,681 --> 00:06:51,483
I'm not finished.
165
00:06:51,484 --> 00:06:53,184
All scientists have
to fund-raise, Sheldon.
166
00:06:53,185 --> 00:06:55,453
How do you think
I paid for my lab?
167
00:06:55,454 --> 00:06:58,021
I went to Saudi Arabia
and met with a prince
168
00:06:58,022 --> 00:06:59,923
who had an interest
in neurobiology.
169
00:06:59,924 --> 00:07:03,727
Your lab is funded by some
Middle-Eastern dilettante?
170
00:07:03,728 --> 00:07:06,430
Technically,
Faisal is my fiancé.
171
00:07:08,466 --> 00:07:11,067
But I do have a state-of-the-art
two-photon microscope
172
00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:14,069
and a place to stay in Riyadh
for the winter.
173
00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:17,273
Well, that explains those
puzzling camel race photos
174
00:07:17,274 --> 00:07:19,642
on your Facebook page.
175
00:07:19,643 --> 00:07:21,177
And consider this:
176
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:23,812
without you to make the case
for the physics department,
177
00:07:23,813 --> 00:07:26,415
the task will fall to people
like Leonard and Rajesh.
178
00:07:26,416 --> 00:07:28,617
Are you trying to scare me?
179
00:07:28,618 --> 00:07:30,885
'Cause you're succeeding.
180
00:07:30,886 --> 00:07:32,621
Well, then prepare
to be terrified.
181
00:07:32,622 --> 00:07:34,256
If your friends
are unconvincing,
182
00:07:34,257 --> 00:07:36,258
this year's donations
might go to,
183
00:07:36,259 --> 00:07:37,725
say, the geology department.
184
00:07:37,726 --> 00:07:40,395
Oh, dear, the dirt people!
185
00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:45,132
Or worse-- it could go to...
186
00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:47,168
the liberal arts.
187
00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:50,937
No!
188
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:54,007
Millions of dollars
being showered on poets,
189
00:07:54,008 --> 00:07:57,678
literary theorists
and students of gender studies.
190
00:07:58,713 --> 00:08:01,714
Oh, the humanities!
191
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,485
On the bright side, I don't
think President Siebert
192
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,688
will be making us go
to any more fund-raisers.
193
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,623
It was so much easier
at my bar mitzvah.
194
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,958
The old people just came up
to you, pinched your cheek
195
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,461
and handed you a savings bond.
196
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,696
Oh, don't be such gloomy Gusses.
197
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,465
Look at the size
of these shrimp!
198
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:24,169
At what point do we start
calling them lobsters?
199
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,472
Face it, Raj,
we crashed and burned tonight.
200
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,608
Oh, you didn't
do that badly.
201
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,043
Mrs. Latham, the first machine
I turn on in the morning
202
00:08:33,044 --> 00:08:35,580
is the helium-neon laser,
'cause it needs to warm up.
203
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,148
I no longer care, dear.
204
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:39,650
But don't worry,
205
00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,652
I really enjoyed
meeting you this evening.
206
00:08:41,653 --> 00:08:43,621
u're kidding.
That was good for you?
207
00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:45,889
'Cause I was sweating
through my T-shirt.
208
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:48,225
Excellent! There's
nothing I like better
209
00:08:48,226 --> 00:08:50,927
than making smart people
feel ill at ease.
210
00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:52,829
Why?
211
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,031
Oh, I don't know,
it's one of the fun things
212
00:08:55,032 --> 00:08:57,834
you get to do when
you have lots of money.
213
00:08:57,835 --> 00:08:59,269
Watch.
214
00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,938
Hey! Who said you
could eat that shrimp?
215
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:07,476
See? Fun.
216
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:09,745
SHELDON:
No, no, no, I'm just here
217
00:09:09,746 --> 00:09:11,046
for your money.
218
00:09:11,047 --> 00:09:13,449
I don't want to shake
anyone's germy hands.
219
00:09:14,751 --> 00:09:16,952
Explain it to
them, Siebert.
220
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:22,504
I must confess
221
00:09:22,505 --> 00:09:24,106
I don't understand you,
President Siebert.
222
00:09:24,107 --> 00:09:26,875
First you say you want me
to appear at your fund-raisers,
223
00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:29,378
but now you say
you never want me to go
224
00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:31,112
anywhere near your fund-raisers.
225
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:34,115
Forgive me, but that sounds
like a mixed message.
226
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,716
Here we go again.
227
00:09:35,717 --> 00:09:37,885
If there's simply
no talking to me,
228
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:40,955
why did you call?
229
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,823
I'm sorry, someone's
on the other line.
230
00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,393
Why don't you see if you
can organize your thoughts,
231
00:09:45,394 --> 00:09:48,528
and we'll try again later.
232
00:09:48,529 --> 00:09:51,164
Cooper-Hofstadter residence.
Go for Cooper.
233
00:09:51,165 --> 00:09:53,266
Good morning, Mrs. Latham.
234
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:55,402
Well, yes, of course
I remember you.
235
00:09:55,403 --> 00:09:57,070
A woman well past her prime
236
00:09:57,071 --> 00:09:58,972
seeking to augment
her social status
237
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,908
by doling out her late husband's
ill-gotten gains.
238
00:10:03,343 --> 00:10:06,845
So, how much money
are you going to give me?
239
00:10:06,846 --> 00:10:10,182
I'm not crazy--
my mother had me tested.
240
00:10:10,183 --> 00:10:11,717
Well, if you're not
241
00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:14,420
going to give me money,
then why are you calling?
242
00:10:14,421 --> 00:10:16,522
She wants to talk to you.
243
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:19,690
Who's crazy now?
244
00:10:20,893 --> 00:10:22,860
Hello, Mrs. Latham.
245
00:10:22,861 --> 00:10:25,763
Yes, I live with him.
246
00:10:25,764 --> 00:10:28,266
I don't...
I-I really don't know why.
247
00:10:33,972 --> 00:10:37,307
Tonight? Sure,
that'd be great.
248
00:10:37,308 --> 00:10:39,709
Okay, I'll see you then.
249
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,078
Bye.
250
00:10:41,079 --> 00:10:44,214
She wants to have dinner
and talk about my research.
251
00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:47,684
An entire dinner
to talk about your research?
252
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:52,088
Where you going, the drive-thru
at Jack in the Box?
253
00:10:54,425 --> 00:10:56,692
Well, wherever
we're going,
254
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:59,828
she's sending a car
to pick me up.
255
00:10:59,829 --> 00:11:01,164
Okay,
256
00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,266
- I see what's happening.
- What?
257
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,435
My stature intimidates her,
258
00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:08,703
so she's using you to get to me.
259
00:11:10,005 --> 00:11:12,941
Crafty old gal.
260
00:11:12,942 --> 00:11:15,810
Excuse me, but you are not the
only distinguished scientist
261
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,112
in this apartment.
262
00:11:17,113 --> 00:11:18,880
I've been published in
peer-reviewed journals,
263
00:11:18,881 --> 00:11:21,015
I received a Dissertation
of the Year award
264
00:11:21,016 --> 00:11:23,016
for experimental
particle physics.
265
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:25,453
No, that can't be it.
266
00:11:25,454 --> 00:11:26,887
And since you seem
267
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:29,090
to have forgotten,
the reason we live together
268
00:11:29,091 --> 00:11:30,757
is we're best friends.
269
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,859
And I got your back, Jack.
270
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,598
That was a great meal.
I'm glad you
enjoyed it.
271
00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:41,701
The only time I eat this well
is when my mom's in town
272
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,204
- and she takes me out to dinner.
- Is that so?
273
00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:46,038
You kind of
remind me of her.
274
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,775
She enjoys making people
uncomfortable, too.
275
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,845
Well, you remind me of
a boy I dated in college.
276
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,779
- No kidding.
- Sweet boy.
277
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,081
Very smart.
278
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,550
If only he'd had money.
279
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,020
Yeah, um...
280
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,490
so, hey,
speaking of money,
281
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,792
how are you feeling about
helping the physics department
282
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,728
get a cryogenic centrifugal
pump and molecular sieve?
283
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:14,198
Well, I must say, you make a
very persuasive case for it.
284
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:16,467
Oh, good, good.
And I'm seriously
285
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:19,136
considering taking it
to the next level.
286
00:12:19,137 --> 00:12:21,171
Terrific. Great.
287
00:12:21,172 --> 00:12:23,406
What level is that?
288
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:32,849
Okay, now you don't
remind me of my mom.
289
00:12:37,754 --> 00:12:42,591
I'm sorry, so, eventually,
zombies are going to attack
290
00:12:42,592 --> 00:12:45,561
the rehab facility
where Sandra Bullock is?
291
00:12:47,864 --> 00:12:50,298
Yes, Sheldon. Keep watching.
292
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,935
You know, it's a shame, all that
work she's doing to get sober,
293
00:12:54,936 --> 00:12:57,104
only to be torn apart
and eaten alive.
294
00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:00,841
Hey. How was dinner?
295
00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:03,278
Swell. I need a drink.
296
00:13:03,279 --> 00:13:05,579
Do we have any alcohol?
297
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:09,683
No. But we have potatoes--
I could make you vodka.
298
00:13:09,684 --> 00:13:11,051
It'll take two weeks.
299
00:13:12,353 --> 00:13:13,387
Leonard, are you okay?
300
00:13:13,388 --> 00:13:15,922
Um, I'm not sure.
301
00:13:15,923 --> 00:13:17,357
What's going on?
302
00:13:17,358 --> 00:13:20,594
Well, Mrs. Latham said
she was seriously considering
303
00:13:20,595 --> 00:13:23,762
donating money so we could get
a cryogenic centrifugal pump...
304
00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:25,298
Yes!
Oh, wow!
305
00:13:25,299 --> 00:13:28,201
...then she stuck
her tongue down my throat.
306
00:13:28,202 --> 00:13:30,869
Why?
307
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:32,438
Okay, we can't keep
explaining everything.
308
00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:34,039
Read that book
we got you.
309
00:13:35,842 --> 00:13:37,609
She hit on me.
310
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:39,010
Wait-wait-wait.
Are you telling us
311
00:13:39,011 --> 00:13:41,479
that old lady wanted
to have sex with you
312
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,217
in exchange for giving your
department millions of dollars?
313
00:13:45,218 --> 00:13:46,418
I think so.
314
00:13:46,419 --> 00:13:48,687
You lucky duck.
315
00:13:48,688 --> 00:13:53,224
You're really
a broken toy, aren't you?
316
00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:55,559
I was able to get out of there
before anything else happened,
317
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,361
but she wants to see me again
tomorrow night.
318
00:13:57,362 --> 00:14:00,097
Excellent!
What are you planning to wear?
319
00:14:00,098 --> 00:14:01,699
What?
320
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:05,236
Penny, you're an expert on trading
sexual favors for material gain--
321
00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:07,904
walk him through this.
322
00:14:07,905 --> 00:14:11,841
Well, n-no, hold on a second,
I'm not going to sleep with her.
323
00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:15,245
But we need a cryogenic
centrifugal pump.
324
00:14:15,246 --> 00:14:17,947
Well, forget it!
It's not gonna happen.
325
00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:20,983
Well, come now, Leonard,
this may be your only chance
326
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:23,386
to make a real contribution
to science!
327
00:14:23,387 --> 00:14:26,555
I repeat: Not gonna happen.
328
00:14:29,659 --> 00:14:32,527
What was all that
about me trading sexual favors
329
00:14:32,528 --> 00:14:34,229
for material gain?
330
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:36,698
It was a compliment.
331
00:14:36,699 --> 00:14:39,568
I believe in giving credit
where credit is due.
332
00:14:42,237 --> 00:14:44,238
Okay, fine. I'll tell him.
333
00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:46,874
Leonard, Mrs. Latham's car
is here for you.
334
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,909
I won't be too late;
I'm just gonna make
335
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:51,412
a final pitch for the funding
and then say good night.
336
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:53,781
Hold on,
I have something for you.
337
00:14:53,782 --> 00:14:56,150
What's this?
338
00:14:56,151 --> 00:14:57,984
Just a few things you
may need tonight.
339
00:14:57,985 --> 00:15:00,953
Baby oil, condoms
and, uh...
340
00:15:00,954 --> 00:15:03,856
a little something I procured from the
school of pharmacology.
341
00:15:03,857 --> 00:15:07,794
They say it is to Viagra as
Viagra is to a green M&M.
342
00:15:11,365 --> 00:15:14,533
I am not going
to have sex with her.
343
00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:16,234
Maybe this will overcome
your reluctance.
344
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:18,870
I went on the Internet
and found a photograph
345
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:22,941
of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham
to get your libido humming.
346
00:15:24,477 --> 00:15:28,314
Check out those saddle shoes.
(purrs playfully)
347
00:15:33,719 --> 00:15:35,052
Are you insane?
348
00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:36,854
I'm not going
to prostitute myself
349
00:15:36,855 --> 00:15:39,156
just so we can get
some new equipment.
350
00:15:39,157 --> 00:15:40,725
Oh, come on! Why not?
(groans)
351
00:15:40,726 --> 00:15:42,560
Good night,
352
00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:44,161
Sheldon.
Given how much time
353
00:15:44,162 --> 00:15:46,330
you spend engaging
in pointless self-abuse,
354
00:15:46,331 --> 00:15:49,265
you might consider,
just this once,
355
00:15:49,266 --> 00:15:52,569
using your genitalia to
actually accomplish something!
356
00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:56,973
He still won't shag
the old lady, huh?
357
00:15:56,974 --> 00:16:00,210
No. But thank you for asking.
358
00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:04,413
Hey. Hi.
359
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:05,948
Hello, Leonard.
360
00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:07,483
I hope you're hungry.
361
00:16:07,484 --> 00:16:09,251
I'm very hungry.
362
00:16:09,252 --> 00:16:11,920
For food, right?
363
00:16:11,921 --> 00:16:14,423
Oh, I made you uncomfortable
last night.
364
00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:16,258
I'm so sorry.
365
00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:17,560
No, that's okay.
366
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,494
No, it most
certainly is not.
367
00:16:19,495 --> 00:16:21,730
Leonard, I'm making the
donation to your department
368
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,032
regardless of what
happens between us.
369
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,101
- Really?
- Well, of course.
370
00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:27,970
There's no quid
pro quo here.
371
00:16:27,971 --> 00:16:29,972
You and your colleagues are
doing remarkable research,
372
00:16:29,973 --> 00:16:31,706
and you deserve the money.
373
00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:33,408
Oh.
374
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,843
Then what was
last night about?
375
00:16:35,844 --> 00:16:38,946
I took a shot; sue me.
376
00:16:38,947 --> 00:16:41,448
Oh.
377
00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,351
You're a very
handsome man, Leonard.
378
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,921
Thank you.
379
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:50,223
It was foolish of me to
think someone your age
380
00:16:50,224 --> 00:16:52,792
might ever be interested
in someone like me.
381
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:54,127
Oh, don't say that.
382
00:16:54,128 --> 00:16:55,996
- You're a very attractive woman.
- Oh, please.
383
00:16:55,997 --> 00:16:58,965
- No, it's true.
- Well, aren't you sweet.
384
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:01,268
Just for the record...
385
00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:04,771
you'd remember a night with me
for the rest of your life.
386
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,875
I'm sure I would.
387
00:17:09,876 --> 00:17:12,811
But why-why, exactly?
388
00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:14,846
You're a very smart man.
389
00:17:14,847 --> 00:17:17,749
How do you think I landed
such a rich husband?
390
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:20,219
I hadn't really
given it much thought.
391
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:23,154
Well, think about it.
392
00:17:24,924 --> 00:17:26,958
Do you mean...?
393
00:17:26,959 --> 00:17:29,294
Yep. I'm that good.
394
00:17:33,332 --> 00:17:35,333
Oh, what the hell.
395
00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:52,983
Good morning, slut.
396
00:17:55,452 --> 00:17:57,519
What?
397
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,290
Oh, please, I recognize
the walk of shame
when I see it.
398
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,392
All you're missing is
a little smeared mascara
399
00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,694
and a purse with panties
wadded up in it.
400
00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:07,363
What's
going on?
401
00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:08,697
Oh, nothing's going on.
402
00:18:08,698 --> 00:18:09,798
Excuse me.
403
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:11,666
- Are you just getting home?
- Yeah.
404
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:14,469
That's a good sign, right?
405
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:15,603
Oh, yeah.
406
00:18:15,604 --> 00:18:18,273
I'm so proud of you!
407
00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:19,441
You sold yourself out
408
00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:21,609
like a common streetwalker!
409
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:25,480
No, I didn't do it
for the money.
410
00:18:25,481 --> 00:18:27,514
She stiffed you?
411
00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:30,384
I believe that's what
your roommate did to her.
412
00:18:30,385 --> 00:18:32,353
What?!
413
00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:35,022
Again, read the
book we gave you.
414
00:18:35,023 --> 00:18:36,756
LEONARD:
No, I mean,
415
00:18:36,757 --> 00:18:38,692
I-I got the money first.
416
00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:40,127
Smart. Get paid up front.
417
00:18:40,128 --> 00:18:43,463
Yeah, I think you have a real
knack for gigolo work, Leonard.
418
00:18:43,464 --> 00:18:45,131
Uh...
419
00:18:45,132 --> 00:18:47,000
I'm gonna go lie down.
420
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,202
That's a good idea;
get your rest.
421
00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:51,304
There are a lot more
rich old ladies out there,
422
00:18:51,305 --> 00:18:52,905
and Daddy needs
a new linear accelerator.
423
00:18:55,942 --> 00:19:00,345
And I thought he didn't learn anything
from his relationship with you.
424
00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:02,580
Hey!
425
00:19:02,581 --> 00:19:03,615
Another compliment!
426
00:19:03,616 --> 00:19:04,949
Learn to recognize them.
427
00:19:11,315 --> 00:19:12,981
Ah, there he is!
428
00:19:12,982 --> 00:19:14,483
The man of the hour!
429
00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:16,151
He took one for the team!
430
00:19:16,152 --> 00:19:19,387
(cheering, whooping)
431
00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:22,390
I didn't do it
for the money!
432
00:19:22,391 --> 00:19:25,927
Keep telling yourself that--
it makes it easier.
433
00:19:25,928 --> 00:19:28,296
Trust me, I know.
434
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:31,766
Cool, buddy!
That's awesome!
Yeah!
435
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:33,568
WOLOWITZ:
How was she?
436
00:19:33,768 --> 00:19:37,268
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==