1
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:06,139
Morning.
2
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,907
Sleep okay?
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,542
Mm-hmm. Great.
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,346
Hey, can I ask you
something?
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,414
Sure.
6
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,416
Last night, me wanting
to try that stuff out
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,018
Of the kama sutra,
8
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,388
Was that fun for you or kinda
racially insensitive?
9
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:24,257
Yeah, just because
you're in bed with
an indian woman,
10
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,092
You think that
gives you permission
11
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:29,462
To use crazy positions from an
ancient indian love manual?
12
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,531
Hey, if you can
find a book called
13
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,568
Weird sex with white boys,
I'd be okay with that.
14
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,005
No, no, you have such
beautiful eyes.
15
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,107
Have you ever thought
about getting contacts?
16
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,509
I tried in
the seventh grade.
17
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,110
I could never get
used to them.
18
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,378
Oh, that's too bad.
19
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,347
Yeah, if I had
contacts I would have been
20
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,416
The coolest debate club
president
21
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,585
Ever to be stuffed
into his own cello case.
22
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,754
If you had them on now,
23
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,891
You could see what
we're going to do next.
24
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:02,962
Th-that's okay.
I can infer from context.
25
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,434
Hey, raj, wanna see
a new magic trick
26
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,668
I've been working on?
27
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,370
Howard, if I may
interject here
28
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,639
With a piece of
friendly advice.
29
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,040
Is working on
magic tricks
30
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,276
Really how you want
to spend your time?
31
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:20,647
Granted, you're
just an engineer, but...
32
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,817
That doesn't mean you might not
someday build a geegaw
33
00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:27,187
Or a thingamabob that may get
you a "thank you"
34
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,857
In someone else's nobel prize
acceptance speech.
35
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,496
Is the trick making him
disappear?
36
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,934
Sure, let's see it.
37
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,403
Here, shuffle these.
38
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,305
Okay.
39
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,874
Now spread them out on
the table face down.
40
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,743
Pick one, look at it.
41
00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:50,844
Okay.
42
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,712
Now remember your card,
put it back in the deck.
43
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,983
Is it any wonder
he doesn't have
a doctorate?
44
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,485
Remind me, what's your birthday?
45
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,487
October sixth.
46
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:03,456
Okay, October is
the tenth month.
47
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,627
So ten-- one plus zero is one,
plus six is seven.
48
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,295
Turn over the seventh card.
49
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,167
How about that!
50
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,068
Is that your card?
51
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,604
Yes, it is.
Very cool!
52
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,240
It's not cool.
53
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:22,876
It's a childish
trick designed
54
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,812
To confuse and intrigue
simpletons.
55
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,081
How'd you do it?
56
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,717
A magician never reveals
his secrets.
57
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,686
But surely a future nobel prize
winner can figure it out.
58
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,790
Fine.
59
00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,191
Give me a second.
60
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,465
You ever notice when he thinks
real hard, it smells like bacon?
61
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,303
Oh, hey!
Sorry! Oop!
62
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,338
Sorry! Pardon me!
(screams)
63
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,706
Oh, I'm so sorry!
64
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,376
Oh, that was my fault.
65
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,078
Check it out.
66
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,314
I just got contacts.
67
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,087
¶ our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ¶
68
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:11,524
¶ then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ¶
69
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,259
¶ the earth began to cool ¶
70
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,895
¶ the autotrophs began to drool,
neanderthals developed tools ¶
71
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,931
¶ we built the wall ¶
¶ we built the pyramids ¶
72
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:20,800
¶ math, science, history,
unraveling the mystery ¶
73
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,802
¶ that all started
with a big bang ¶
74
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,838
¶ bang! ¶
75
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,563
One, two,
76
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:37,032
Three, four, five.
77
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:37,900
No way.
78
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:38,867
That's your card, right?
79
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:40,369
Seven of clubs!
80
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,737
That is amazing!
81
00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:45,074
It's not amazing.
82
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,711
All magic tricks are merely
a combination
83
00:03:48,712 --> 00:03:50,412
Of manipulation
and misdirection
84
00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:55,050
With the occasional dwarf in
a box wiggling his feet.
85
00:03:55,952 --> 00:03:58,020
Oh, really?
So how did I do it?
86
00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,621
I don't care how you did it.
87
00:03:59,622 --> 00:04:03,392
I have more important things
to think about.
88
00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:10,265
Clearly, the cards
are marked.
89
00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:12,634
I thought you had more important
things to think about.
90
00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:14,403
I do.
You just happened
91
00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:16,305
To have caught me
on a break.
92
00:04:17,741 --> 00:04:21,043
Oh, let me see
those cards.
93
00:04:21,044 --> 00:04:22,378
Big deal. Not knowing
94
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:23,912
Is part of the fun.
95
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,781
"not knowing is part
of the fun."
96
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:27,750
Was that the motto
of your community college?
97
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,221
Hey, guys,
what do you think?
98
00:04:32,222 --> 00:04:33,722
Priya took me
clothes shopping.
99
00:04:33,723 --> 00:04:34,957
Hey, you look great.
100
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:36,091
Good for you, priya.
101
00:04:36,092 --> 00:04:38,060
I could never get that stupid
hoodie off him
102
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,027
When we were...
103
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,162
Well, you look great.
104
00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:41,597
Thank you.
105
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,232
Lets go hang
everything up.
106
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:44,666
Yeah, good.
107
00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:47,936
New contacts.
108
00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:50,272
I should have done this
years ago.
109
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,811
So you finally getting used to
them doing it on a daily basis?
110
00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:56,945
I'm not going out with him.
111
00:04:56,946 --> 00:04:58,414
He can sleep
with whoever he wants.
112
00:04:58,415 --> 00:05:01,150
Yeah, I was talking to raj.
113
00:05:05,588 --> 00:05:07,689
Oopsy.
114
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,224
This deck is rigged in
some fashion.
115
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,192
Fine. Get another deck
116
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:11,527
And I'll do
the trick with that.
117
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,128
So you're saying this is
a regulation deck?
118
00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:16,031
I'm saying believe in magic,
you muggle.
119
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,504
You know, well, I'm happy
leonard's found someone.
120
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:27,075
Not that anybody asked.
121
00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:34,249
How many star trek uniforms
do you have?
122
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,652
Just two:
123
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:39,121
Everyday and dress.
124
00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:40,789
Uh-huh.
125
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:43,959
Listen, we need
to talk about something.
126
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,094
Oh, my god, you're breaking up
with me!
127
00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:48,363
Why would you take me out
shopping
128
00:05:48,364 --> 00:05:50,799
And then break up with me?
That is so cruel!
129
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,702
Leonard, I'm not breaking up
with you.
130
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:55,671
Oh, okay.
131
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,477
So, what's up?
132
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,779
It's a little weird,
133
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,949
Your ex-girlfriend hanging out
here all the time.
134
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,050
I know.
135
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,618
I usually never see
my ex-girlfriends,
136
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,054
Unless their hard drives crash.
137
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:16,525
I'm just saying, how would you
feel if I was hanging out
138
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:17,893
With my ex-boyfriend?
139
00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,328
Um, not great, I guess.
140
00:06:19,329 --> 00:06:21,196
But penny and I are
just friends.
141
00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:22,564
I don't care.
142
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,433
This is a woman you have
slept with.
143
00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:25,834
If you want her around,
144
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:29,137
Then I have to wonder if maybe
you're not ready to move on.
145
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,873
No, no-no-no, I'm ready!
146
00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:33,375
I gave up the gift of
sight for you.
147
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,010
If that's not moving on,
what is?
148
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:38,280
You need to cut the cord
with penny.
149
00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:40,649
Oh... Okay.
150
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,985
You don't sound very confident.
151
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,586
No, no, I'm confident.
152
00:06:44,587 --> 00:06:47,022
Its not like I'm unfamiliar with
the "get lost" conversation.
153
00:06:47,023 --> 00:06:50,158
Although, this will be the first
time I'll be the one saying it.
154
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,327
Thank you.
155
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,662
I appreciate it.
156
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,930
Sure.
157
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:57,399
Oh, god, you
smell so good.
158
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,434
Of course, that
could just be
159
00:06:59,435 --> 00:07:01,370
My other senses
getting stronger.
160
00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:08,410
Hypothetically, if I had access
161
00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:13,015
To a lieutenant uhura uniform,
would you wear it?
162
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,250
Leonard, it is a source
of great pain
163
00:07:15,251 --> 00:07:16,385
To me and my family
164
00:07:16,386 --> 00:07:18,554
That my brother has that outfit
in his wardrobe.
165
00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:20,055
Can we not discuss it?
166
00:07:20,056 --> 00:07:22,824
I'm sorry. Never mind.
167
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,764
And was your card the jack
of diamonds?
168
00:07:28,765 --> 00:07:33,168
Oh, unbelievable!
169
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:37,839
Know how he did it yet?
170
00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:44,379
Um...
171
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,583
Aw, he has the same look
my little nephew gets
172
00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:50,385
When he can't figure out
how I got his nose.
173
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,991
You know, I have some remedial
magic tricks
174
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:57,759
That might be more your speed.
175
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,194
Like, ooh, look!
176
00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:02,531
The pencil's rubber!
177
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:07,002
Hey, I think I know how you did
the card trick.
178
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:10,372
Oh, please, if I don't know,
you don't know.
179
00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:12,040
That's axiomatic.
180
00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:13,909
Come here.
181
00:08:15,044 --> 00:08:16,745
You're right.
182
00:08:18,514 --> 00:08:20,182
Not too bad for someone
183
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:22,718
Who doesn't know
what "axiomatic" means.
184
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:31,593
Oh, hi.
185
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,928
Hey, you.
186
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,429
What happened with
the contacts?
187
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,697
One of them's upstairs.
188
00:08:35,698 --> 00:08:39,267
The other one sort of slipped
back into my skull.
189
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:41,637
Hey, is that one of the new
shirts priya got you?
190
00:08:41,638 --> 00:08:42,904
Yeah.
191
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:44,539
You don't wanna
wash that.
192
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,408
No?
No, that's silk.
193
00:08:46,409 --> 00:08:48,644
Seriously, what would you do
without me?
194
00:08:48,645 --> 00:08:50,512
Yeah. (chuckles)
195
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:54,316
You know, I gotta
tell you, I think
196
00:08:54,317 --> 00:08:56,885
You got a real winner
with priya.
Yeah, me, too.
197
00:08:56,886 --> 00:08:58,253
She seems really sweet.
198
00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:00,422
Believe me, you do not want
to take that for granted.
199
00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:03,191
There are a lot of bitches
out there.
200
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:07,596
Yeah, bitches are the worst.
201
00:09:07,597 --> 00:09:09,464
All right, I'll
see you later.
202
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:12,167
Uh, penny, there's something
I have to tell you.
203
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:13,301
What?
204
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,071
Okay, uh, how do I put this?
205
00:09:16,072 --> 00:09:20,742
Um... Are you familiar with
darwin's observation
206
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:23,812
Of the finches
in the galapagos islands?
207
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,114
Did they make a movie about it?
208
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:27,816
No.
209
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,751
Then no.
210
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:33,555
All right, well, anyway, darwin
observed that when two groups
211
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,957
Of finches competed
over the same food source,
212
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:39,161
Eventually one of them would
evolve a different beak shape
213
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,830
So they could feed on
something else.
214
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,433
Okay.
215
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:47,703
So what do you think we can
learn from that behavior
216
00:09:47,704 --> 00:09:50,138
That we can apply
to our own lives?
217
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,177
Uh, a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush?
218
00:09:56,979 --> 00:10:00,816
Sure, that has birds in it.
219
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:05,487
It's fun talking to you,
leonard; I always learn stuff.
220
00:10:08,624 --> 00:10:11,359
I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna count that.
221
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:18,834
Priya: Do you really have
to wear that in bed?
222
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:25,273
Yeah. The doctor didn't want me
to rub my eye during the night.
223
00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:28,810
It was either this or one
of those giant neck cones.
224
00:10:28,811 --> 00:10:33,215
So did you get
to talk to penny?
225
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,918
Oh, yes.
Indeed, I did.
226
00:10:36,919 --> 00:10:38,620
And?
227
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:41,423
She completely understood
everything I said. Case closed.
228
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:43,058
Was she upset?
229
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:46,361
Maybe, but that's
not my problem.
230
00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:48,330
She's not my girlfriend,
you are.
231
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:51,333
I hope you weren't
cruel to her.
232
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:55,737
Is the autumn cruel
for letting the flowers die,
233
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,640
Or is that just nature's way?
234
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:01,777
(knocking)
235
00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:03,612
Sheldon: Leonard?
(knocking) leonard?
236
00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:04,746
Leonard?
237
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,248
What?!
238
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,984
I think I figured out
wolowitz's magic trick,
239
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:12,154
And I need you
to pick a card.
240
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:16,691
I am not opening
that door, sheldon!
241
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:18,026
As you wish.
242
00:11:23,132 --> 00:11:27,669
Pick a card, put it back,
and prepare to be amazed.
243
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:31,673
Did you pick one?
244
00:11:31,674 --> 00:11:33,108
Yep.
245
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,113
Is this your card?
246
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,381
Nope.
247
00:11:39,382 --> 00:11:41,583
Drat.
248
00:11:42,718 --> 00:11:45,053
Is this your card?
249
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:47,222
No.
250
00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:49,291
I'll be right back.
251
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,784
Pick a card, sheldon.
252
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:04,223
Now look at it,
and put it back in the deck.
253
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,793
Now do you remember your card?
254
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,895
Of course I do, I have
an eidetic memory.
255
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,663
My apologies.
256
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,132
Now shuffle the cards.
257
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,635
Shuffling.
258
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,370
Wait here.
259
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,842
Processing image,
cross-referencing...
260
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,611
Whatcha doin'?
261
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,647
I'm reverse engineering
wolowitz's magic trick.
262
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:32,751
What's up
with the infrared cameras?
263
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,254
I'm measuring residual heat
levels on the playing cards
264
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,855
To determine
which one's been touched.
265
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,724
By the way,
266
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,125
If you hope to have children,
267
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,994
I suggest you switch
from briefs to boxers.
268
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,895
Your testicles look a tad warm.
269
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,773
Holy crap,
are you connected
270
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,942
To the oak ridge
national laboratory?
271
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,511
Yes. I'm using their
cray supercomputer
272
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,812
To analyze
shuffling patterns.
273
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,749
Sheldon, that computer
is used
274
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,017
For national defense.
275
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,685
Hacking into it is
a federal crime.
276
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,855
Relax, we're not under
attack right now.
277
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:15,494
Okay, I'm leaving before the
black helicopters get here.
278
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:20,232
And is this my card?
279
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,668
Rats!
280
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,974
I wonder if howard used
a radioactive tracer.
281
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,878
Where am I going to find
uranium-235 this time of night?
282
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,083
Come on, craigslist.
283
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:45,257
Is it racist that I took you
to an indian restaurant?
284
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:48,727
It's okay, I like indian food.
285
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:52,197
Or as you probably call it
back home, "food." (chuckles)
286
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:55,133
Why didn't you wear
your contacts?
287
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,435
Don't you like them?
288
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,703
No, no, I do.
289
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,771
It's just I knew I was having
curry tonight
290
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,308
And I only want one part
of my body to burn at a time.
291
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,279
You know... (clears throat)
292
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,182
...My company offered me a
position here in los angeles.
293
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:14,286
Does that mean you'd relocate
here permanently?
294
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,822
Maybe. What do you think?
295
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,157
I love it.
296
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,126
That's great!
(knocking)
297
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:24,262
Hi!
298
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,766
Hi! Just hang on.
299
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,902
(chuckles) small world.
300
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,070
You did talk to her, didn't you?
301
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,673
Of course, I did.
I talked and talked and talked.
302
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:39,778
Hey! Look at leonard
in his fancy-ass
grownup clothes.
303
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,448
Way to go, priya.
For once, he doesn't look
304
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,784
Like a mannequin in
the boys' department.
305
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,553
(chuckles)
hey, did he
306
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,322
Tell you I saved
the silk shirt?
307
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,690
No, he did not.
308
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,792
He was gonna throw it
in the washing machine
309
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,495
With his
spiderman underwear.
310
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,263
That's our lenny, huh?
(laughs)
311
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:01,233
Yes, that's our lenny.
312
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,502
So how's
the food here?
313
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,371
Oh, wow, that is
really, really good.
314
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:08,373
Oh, I'm sorry.
You guys are on a date.
315
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,275
We can hang out
anytime. Have fun.
316
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,610
Bye.
Good night.
317
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,946
Oh, that's, hot, hot, hot, hot!
318
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,051
Whoo! It really
sneaks up on ya, huh?
319
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,453
All right, I gotta go.
320
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,894
It is pretty spicy.
321
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,465
Oh, I've been meaning
to tell you,
322
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,734
I figured out
your magic trick.
323
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,536
Really?
324
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,737
Oh, yes.
325
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,206
In fact, I improved upon it.
326
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,175
I'd love to see that.
327
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,443
How about you, raj?
328
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,278
Beefaroni and a show?
329
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,979
How do you turn that down?
330
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:52,851
All right. (clears throat)
331
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,519
Pick a card.
332
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,788
Okay.
333
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,357
Bippity-boppity-boo.
334
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:00,659
(beeps)
335
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:12,070
What's with the wand
and the beep?
336
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,839
The wand is called showmanship,
337
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,208
And the beep is none
of your business.
338
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:18,376
(text alert tone sounds)
339
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:19,444
Oh! Excuse me.
340
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,979
I'm getting a text message
341
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,548
Completely unrelated
to this magic trick.
342
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:27,152
Oh, look, my
dry cleaning's ready.
343
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:31,056
And your card was
the five of spades. Ta-da.
344
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:34,826
These cards have barcodes
on them.
345
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,894
The wand is a reader.
346
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,896
It's transmitting to your phone.
347
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,668
I said, "ta-da."
348
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,736
Show's over.
349
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,038
That's pathetic.
350
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,741
Let me show you how
a real magician does it.
351
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,076
Raj, take a card.
352
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,944
Don't let me see it.
353
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:55,280
Okay.
354
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:56,781
Three of clubs.
355
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,183
Son of a gun,
356
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,718
You're blowing my mind!
357
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,390
Bippity-boppity-boo-yah!
358
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,395
That does it.
I'm getting uranium.
359
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,601
You ever gonna tell him?
360
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,771
Maybe.
When it stops being fun.
361
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,274
So never.
362
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,917
Oh, hey, I was
just on my way to work.
363
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,385
Oh, okay,
its not important.
364
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,352
It can wait.
365
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:35,987
No, it's all right.
Walk me down.
366
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:36,988
So, what's up?
367
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,657
Uh, I kind of have
a problem
368
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,659
I was hoping
you could help me with.
369
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,726
Sure, anything.
370
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,229
Move out.
371
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,597
What?
372
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,932
Not far.
373
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,000
Hey, if you ever wanna
start a family,
374
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,869
La cañada has
some great schools.
375
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,270
Okay, I'm not
moving anywhere.
376
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,406
What the hell
is this all about?
377
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,975
Why does it have
to be about anything?
378
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,077
Can't a fella ask
his buddy to relocate,
379
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,179
No questions asked?
380
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,581
Oh, for god's sake,
leonard,
381
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,082
This is about priya,
isn't it?
382
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,817
She doesn't want me
hanging out with you.
383
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,987
Yes. There, I said it.
384
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,790
Okay, look.
385
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,959
I happen to like
your girlfriend.
386
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:14,893
And she likes you.
387
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:15,527
No, she doesn't.
388
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,262
Not really, no.
389
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,197
It doesn't matter.
Look, I promise from now on
390
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,665
I will keep
my distance from you.
391
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:23,068
Well, now, hold on.
What kind of distance
392
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,003
Are we talking about?
Because we are neighbors.
393
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,305
I mean, I can hear the toilet
flush in your apartment.
394
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,941
You can hear my toilet flush?
395
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,510
I don't listen for it,
but it's nice to know
396
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:36,081
Everything's okay
with your plumbing.
397
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,949
The building's plumbing.
398
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,150
Leonard, I get it.
399
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,619
You're in
a new relationship now.
400
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,853
And I'm happy for you.
401
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,322
So why don't we
just shake hands
and part friends?
402
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,523
Well, now hold on.
403
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,758
How about this?
404
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,961
How about we still hang out,
but on the down-low?
405
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,498
Are you really that kind of guy?
406
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,166
No.
407
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:59,371
I actually felt kinda silly just
saying "on the down-low."
408
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,941
Good-bye, leonard.
409
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,512
Penny, wait.
410
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:11,016
Ah!
411
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,788
Damn contacts.
412
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,253
Incoming.
413
00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:27,857
Hi!
Hey!
414
00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:29,091
Hello.
415
00:19:29,092 --> 00:19:33,095
Why so glum, chum?
416
00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:35,097
Apparently,
you can't hack into
417
00:19:35,098 --> 00:19:37,066
A government
supercomputer
418
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,668
And then try
to buy uranium
419
00:19:38,669 --> 00:19:40,803
Without the department of
homeland security tattling
420
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,972
To your mother.
421
00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:48,844
Oh, that's too bad.
422
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,413
Figure out the magic trick yet?
423
00:19:50,414 --> 00:19:52,715
(mocking):
Figure out the magic trick yet?
424
00:19:52,716 --> 00:19:54,950
Want me to tell you
how to do it?
425
00:19:54,951 --> 00:19:55,785
No.
426
00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:57,520
Ill show you one more time.
427
00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,121
Raj?
428
00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:00,823
Hang on.
429
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,758
This time do it with me,
430
00:20:02,759 --> 00:20:06,062
So I can make sure
there's no monkey business.
431
00:20:06,063 --> 00:20:09,231
All right.
432
00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:24,847
Two of hearts.
I hate you.
433
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:28,751
Captioning sponsored by
cbs, warner bros. Television
434
00:20:28,752 --> 00:20:32,955
The all-new volkswagen jetta.
It's great, for the price
of good. That's das auto.
435
00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:35,391
Yeah, he's gonna win
the nobel prize.
436
00:20:36,391 --> 00:20:39,391
Subs straight from CC