1
00:00:02,971 --> 00:00:04,803
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

2
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:06,000
You work the lunch shift?

3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:08,889
Yeah. I've got eight pounds of
salmon that's about to go bad.

4
00:00:08,962 --> 00:00:10,512
Do you know
how to cook it?

5
00:00:10,514 --> 00:00:12,137
- Not really.
- Damn it.

6
00:00:12,139 --> 00:00:14,849
Should have liberated
the iffy chicken.

7
00:00:14,851 --> 00:00:18,221
What are you and Professor
Fussyface up to tonight?

8
00:00:18,223 --> 00:00:20,944
Star Wars on Blu-ray.

9
00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:23,841
Haven't you seen that movie,
like, a thousand times?

10
00:00:23,843 --> 00:00:26,027
Not on Blu-ray.

11
00:00:26,029 --> 00:00:28,028
Only twice on Blu-ray.

12
00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:30,412
Oh, Leonard.

13
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:34,844
I know, it's
high-resolution sadness.

14
00:00:34,846 --> 00:00:37,987
Well, I'm going to take myself
out to a movie tonight.

15
00:00:37,989 --> 00:00:39,151
You want to go?

16
00:00:39,153 --> 00:00:40,591
Really? Do we do that?

17
00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,045
What do you mean?

18
00:00:42,047 --> 00:00:44,027
You know, we haven't spent
time alone together

19
00:00:44,029 --> 00:00:45,494
since we broke up.

20
00:00:45,496 --> 00:00:47,421
Oh, it's not a date, Leonard.

21
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:52,240
It's just a man and a woman hanging out,
not having sex at the end of the night.

22
00:00:52,242 --> 00:00:55,025
Sounds like
most of my dates.

23
00:00:55,027 --> 00:00:59,249
Oh, dear Lord, get away
from me, you monster!

24
00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:01,534
What is that about?

25
00:01:01,536 --> 00:01:03,493
Well, he's smart
and crazy enough,

26
00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:05,573
he may have actually
created a monster.

27
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:08,908
Shoo, shoo!
Be gone!

28
00:01:08,910 --> 00:01:10,326
What the hell is going on?

29
00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:13,660
There's a bird outside the
window, and he won't go away.

30
00:01:13,662 --> 00:01:15,577
That is the hell
that is going on.

31
00:01:15,579 --> 00:01:18,101
We have no worms or seeds here.

32
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,531
Shoo, shoo.

33
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:23,428
Really? On top of everything
else, you're afraid of birds?

34
00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:25,799
It's called ornithophobia.

35
00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,383
And someday it will
be recognized

36
00:01:27,385 --> 00:01:30,186
as a true disability, and the
landlord will be required by law

37
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:31,917
to put a giant net
over the building.

38
00:01:33,379 --> 00:01:36,486
Which is unfortunate, because
I have a fear of nets.

39
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,023
So movies, yes or no?

40
00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:40,837
Movies, yes.

41
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,643
Great. I'll see you later.

42
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:44,965
And remember, he's more afraid
of you than you are of him.

43
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:46,094
That doesn't help.

44
00:01:46,096 --> 00:01:50,484
No, I was talking
to the bird.

45
00:01:51,665 --> 00:01:56,450
Go away, bird. Go away, bird.
Go away, bird.

46
00:01:56,452 --> 00:01:59,297
Sheldon, just ignore him.

47
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,912
Good idea.
Attention is what birds want.

48
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,523
Oh, much better. All right.

49
00:02:07,525 --> 00:02:09,880
Now I'll just get along
with my life.

50
00:02:12,736 --> 00:02:15,608
Make a pot of tea, Leonard.
It's going to be a long night.

51
00:02:23,961 --> 00:02:25,646
¶ The Earth began to cool

52
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,821
<i>¶ We built the Wall</i>

53
00:02:37,038 --> 00:02:39,538
The Big Bang Theory S05E09
"The Ornithophobia Diffusion"

54
00:02:39,539 --> 00:02:42,205
By Mikhel for Subtitulos.es
==SPREAD THE WORD==

55
00:03:03,385 --> 00:03:04,241
The bird's still there?

56
00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:07,135
Quick, what does
a hawk sound like?

57
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,972
I don't know...

58
00:03:08,974 --> 00:03:12,036
scree-scree.

59
00:03:12,038 --> 00:03:13,180
Please, that's a seagull.

60
00:03:13,182 --> 00:03:15,642
If you're not going
to help, don't help.

61
00:03:15,644 --> 00:03:18,347
Sorry. Do you think
I'm overdressed?

62
00:03:18,349 --> 00:03:20,060
It depends on the activity.

63
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,148
For a prostate exam, yes.

64
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,184
If you're playing Vegas,
I'd add sequins.

65
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,751
I'm going to the movies
with Penny.

66
00:03:28,819 --> 00:03:30,814
I don't want her to think
that I think it's a date.

67
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:31,908
Do you think it's a date?

68
00:03:31,952 --> 00:03:34,676
No, but she might think I think
it's a date even though I don't.

69
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,544
Or you might think she thinks you think
it's a date even though she doesn't.

70
00:03:37,562 --> 00:03:39,066
Are we overthinking this?
Not at all.

71
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,699
You're right. I'm fine.
I'm wearing this.

72
00:03:42,819 --> 00:03:44,939
Really? A blazer?
All right.

73
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,107
Yes, hello.

74
00:03:53,556 --> 00:03:54,990
This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

75
00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:58,025
I'm at 2311 North Robles Avenue.

76
00:03:58,052 --> 00:04:00,321
I'd like to report
a dangerous wild animal.

77
00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,825
A blue jay.

78
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,160
I'm sorry, this is
Animal Control.

79
00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:07,752
I don't understand theaughter.

80
00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:10,831
No, the bird is not in my home.

81
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:13,598
If he was in my home, I
obviously would have called 911.

82
00:04:15,348 --> 00:04:16,738
Sir, I have no doubt that
there are things

83
00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:18,146
that you're frightened of.

84
00:04:18,164 --> 00:04:20,975
Being stuck in a dead-end
public service job.

85
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:23,165
Or your wife stepping out on you

86
00:04:23,174 --> 00:04:25,752
because you're stuck in
a dead-end public service job.

87
00:04:26,236 --> 00:04:27,331
Or spiders.

88
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,965
Don't you think I tried
making cat noises?

89
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:39,559
Too casual?

90
00:04:39,561 --> 00:04:41,395
For an audience
with the queen, yes.

91
00:04:41,771 --> 00:04:43,821
For an evening of paing
a bottle of fortified wine

92
00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:46,307
around a flaming trash can,
you look great.

93
00:05:03,484 --> 00:05:05,712
What am I thinking?
Whiske.

94
00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:11,437
Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make
the new Jennifer Aniston movie.

95
00:05:11,925 --> 00:05:13,407
Oh, yeah, sure.

96
00:05:13,409 --> 00:05:15,494
There's also
an amazing documentary

97
00:05:15,496 --> 00:05:19,120
about building a dam
on river in South America.

98
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:23,586
Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston
movie has Jennifer Aniston,

99
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:25,950
and she's not
building a dam.

100
00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:27,962
Can't argue with that.

101
00:05:27,964 --> 00:05:30,100
I'll get the tickets.
Okay.

102
00:05:31,169 --> 00:05:34,136
Actually, you know what?

103
00:05:34,138 --> 00:05:37,098
I think it's about time
I picked a movie we see.

104
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,492
You pick plenty of movies.

105
00:05:39,494 --> 00:05:41,564
No. You always picked,

106
00:05:41,566 --> 00:05:43,149
and it was always the same.

107
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:45,434
An hour and a half of
beach houses in the rain

108
00:05:45,436 --> 00:05:50,025
until the woman turns around and
realizes love was here all along.

109
00:05:50,027 --> 00:05:53,840
Come on, that is a great movie,
and it starts in ten minutes.

110
00:05:53,842 --> 00:05:55,685
I hate those movies.

111
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:57,725
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.

112
00:05:57,727 --> 00:06:01,497
The only reason I went is
because you wanted to see them,

113
00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:03,620
and I wanted to have sex.

114
00:06:03,622 --> 00:06:06,209
To this day, I can't see
a Sandra Bullock movie poster

115
00:06:06,211 --> 00:06:09,174
without getting both
bored and aroused.

116
00:06:09,176 --> 00:06:10,947
Okay, so while we
were going out,

117
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:14,602
how often would you pretend to like
things just to have sex with me?

118
00:06:14,604 --> 00:06:16,783
All the time.

119
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,657
You're kidding.

120
00:06:19,659 --> 00:06:21,221
Does this sound familiar?

121
00:06:21,223 --> 00:06:24,191
I'd love to go
shoe shopping with you.

122
00:06:24,193 --> 00:06:26,434
Hiking? It's great.

123
00:06:26,436 --> 00:06:31,676
It's 2:00 a.m., of course I want to go to Korea
Town and sing karaoke with your friends.

124
00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:33,476
Who wouldn't?

125
00:06:33,478 --> 00:06:35,049
Okay, we were going out.

126
00:06:35,051 --> 00:06:36,720
You were going
to get sex anyway.

127
00:06:36,722 --> 00:06:41,820
Really? You would have slept with me
after a three-hour documentary on dams?

128
00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:45,544
No. No woman would.

129
00:06:45,546 --> 00:06:48,196
See? Now, that's
the great thing.

130
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:50,096
We're out as friends.
This is not a date.

131
00:06:50,098 --> 00:06:51,564
Sex is off the table.

132
00:06:51,566 --> 00:06:54,105
So, let's go learn how
hydroelectric power

133
00:06:54,107 --> 00:06:58,090
might not be the environmental
bargain you think it is.

134
00:06:58,092 --> 00:07:01,337
Sorry. Spoiler alert.

135
00:07:02,496 --> 00:07:04,801
All right, fine.

136
00:07:04,803 --> 00:07:06,486
Thanks.

137
00:07:06,488 --> 00:07:08,217
Tickets are 11 bucks.

138
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:14,104
Not a date.

139
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,817
Come on, Sheldon,
Star Wars.

140
00:07:19,819 --> 00:07:21,786
I'm pushing play.
I mean it.

141
00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:22,984
If we don't start soon,

142
00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:25,980
George Lucas is going
to change it again.

143
00:07:27,475 --> 00:07:29,707
This would go a lot faster

144
00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:31,800
if you put your trade school
diploma to work

145
00:07:31,802 --> 00:07:34,769
and helped me set up this
high frequency tone generator.

146
00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:37,998
I have a Masters degree
from M.I.T.

147
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,342
Yeah, but you've got
a can- attitude

148
00:07:39,344 --> 00:07:41,094
and that's what's important.

149
00:07:43,127 --> 00:07:45,578
I really don't get
your problem with birds.

150
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:47,503
The question you
should be asking

151
00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:50,172
is what is their problem
with me?

152
00:07:50,174 --> 00:07:54,433
My first memory, a hummingbird
dive-bombing my stroller

153
00:07:54,435 --> 00:07:57,517
to get at the apple juice
in my sippy cup.

154
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,559
Hummingbirds are pretty.

155
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:03,481
Hummingbirds are the vampires
of the flower world.

156
00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:08,007
Still my first choice
for an ankle tattoo.

157
00:08:09,547 --> 00:08:13,149
Or a dolphin...
I go back and forth.

158
00:08:13,151 --> 00:08:16,525
Age seven, a blood-thirsty
chicken chases me up a tree.

159
00:08:16,527 --> 00:08:21,903
Age 12, a magpie tries to steal
the retainer out of my mouth.

160
00:08:21,905 --> 00:08:26,977
Age 16, a parrot in a
pet store called me fat ass.

161
00:08:26,979 --> 00:08:28,868
Need I go on?

162
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,742
Yes, please. This is way better
than the movie.

163
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,186
All right, Sheldon,

164
00:08:33,188 --> 00:08:34,891
your bird death ray is ready.

165
00:08:34,893 --> 00:08:36,420
It's not a death ray.

166
00:08:36,422 --> 00:08:38,714
It's just a little ultrasonic
blast to scare him off.

167
00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:40,588
Trust me, if I had a death ray,

168
00:08:40,590 --> 00:08:42,419
I wouldn't be living here.

169
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,896
I'd be in my lair
enjoying the money

170
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:47,864
the people of Earth gave me
for not using my death ray.

171
00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:49,916
All right, and in three,

172
00:08:49,918 --> 00:08:52,067
two, one.

173
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:03,873
That is one
tough birdie.

174
00:09:05,281 --> 00:09:07,405
Come on, you enjoyed
the movie.

175
00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:09,902
I saw you tearing up
when the village got flooded,

176
00:09:09,904 --> 00:09:11,674
and everyone
had to relocate.

177
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,602
No, I was thinking how come
they get to leave and I can't.

178
00:09:15,604 --> 00:09:17,702
I'm going to get some fries.

179
00:09:17,704 --> 00:09:18,914
You want anything?

180
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,596
Uh, no, thanks.
Are you sure?

181
00:09:20,598 --> 00:09:23,711
You always say no, and then
you eat half my fries.

182
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:26,129
I just eat the little crispy
ones you don't like.

183
00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:28,786
No, I love them.
I save them for the end,

184
00:09:28,788 --> 00:09:30,956
but they're gone
because you ate them.

185
00:09:30,958 --> 00:09:32,444
And why did

186
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:33,574
I let you eat them?

187
00:09:33,576 --> 00:09:35,325
To get sex.
Exactly.

188
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,529
But this is
not a date.

189
00:09:38,531 --> 00:09:40,901
So I ask again,
would you like anything?

190
00:09:40,903 --> 00:09:42,672
All right, I'd like
an order ofries.

191
00:09:42,674 --> 00:09:45,048
Great. That'll be five dollars.

192
00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:49,295
I am having the best time.

193
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,270
I'm so glad you suggested
we do this.

194
00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:54,379
Oh, sorry.

195
00:09:54,381 --> 00:09:56,306
No problem.

196
00:09:56,308 --> 00:09:58,469
What you writing there?

197
00:09:58,471 --> 00:10:00,063
A screenplay.

198
00:10:00,065 --> 00:10:02,133
Its about a guy whose
roommate is having sex

199
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:06,289
and tells him go to a bar
and work on his screenplay.

200
00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:09,707
"I Hope Alex Gets Crabs: The Movie".

201
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:13,009
It's a working title.
Oh.

202
00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:14,188
I'm Kevin.
Oh. Penny.

203
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,265
Nice to meet you.

204
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,233
I'll let you get
back to your date.

205
00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:19,090
Oh, no, no.
This isn't a date, no.

206
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:22,010
Right?

207
00:10:22,985 --> 00:10:24,597
Uh... right.

208
00:10:24,599 --> 00:10:27,232
So have you written anything
I might have seen?

209
00:10:27,234 --> 00:10:29,804
That depends. How much time
do you spend on Yelp?

210
00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:44,878
This is ridiculous.

211
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,275
I'm a grown man from Texas.

212
00:10:47,277 --> 00:10:50,870
This isn't a terrifying bird
like a swan or a goose.

213
00:10:52,822 --> 00:10:54,365
It's just a blue jay.

214
00:11:00,217 --> 00:11:02,249
That's a pretty big blue jay.

215
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,234
One...

216
00:11:22,236 --> 00:11:23,318
two...

217
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,309
three.

218
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:28,312
Go! Shoo!
Am-scray, ird-bay!

219
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:31,227
Bird in the apartment!

220
00:11:31,229 --> 00:11:32,552
Bird in the apartment!

221
00:11:32,554 --> 00:11:34,859
No!

222
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:43,896
So it is an amazing
documentary.

223
00:11:44,651 --> 00:11:46,458
They need the electricity from
the dam, but at the same time,

224
00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:50,109
they want to preserve
the environment.

225
00:11:50,112 --> 00:11:52,938
You're kidding me.

226
00:11:55,454 --> 00:11:57,835
Uh, can I see you
for a sec over here?

227
00:11:57,837 --> 00:11:59,473
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Just one sec?

228
00:11:59,475 --> 00:12:01,487
No problem.

229
00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:02,460
What's up?

230
00:12:02,462 --> 00:12:03,711
I know what you're doing.

231
00:12:03,713 --> 00:12:05,507
What am I doing?
You're going out of your way

232
00:12:05,509 --> 00:12:07,825
to talk to that guy because
I said we weren't on a date.

233
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,695
No, I'm talking to him
because he's cute.

234
00:12:09,697 --> 00:12:10,925
Come on, he's not that cute.

235
00:12:10,927 --> 00:12:12,351
Yes, he is.

236
00:12:12,353 --> 00:12:15,851
With his dorky T-shirt
and his little hipster glasses.

237
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,138
I wear dorky T-shirts
and glasses.

238
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:26,835
Yes, but when you're tall
and have great cheekbones,

239
00:12:26,837 --> 00:12:28,462
you're doing it ironically.

240
00:12:30,637 --> 00:12:33,366
If that's so, what if I
start talking to a girl?

241
00:12:33,368 --> 00:12:34,866
You should!

242
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:36,206
I'm serious.
I'll do it.

243
00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:38,584
Good! Go! There are some
girls right over there.

244
00:12:42,599 --> 00:12:43,720
What are you waiting for?

245
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,138
They're in a group.
I'm scared.

246
00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:49,867
Sheldon, what do you
expect us to do?

247
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:53,760
You're biologists.

248
00:12:53,762 --> 00:12:55,493
Biology is the study
of living things.

249
00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:57,664
That's a living thing;
get cracking.

250
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:01,807
I specialize in microorganisms,

251
00:13:01,809 --> 00:13:03,728
and Amy studies brains.

252
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:06,689
Yeah, neither of us
minored in bird-shooing.

253
00:13:06,691 --> 00:13:08,734
Oh, come now.

254
00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:10,603
Your undergraduate work
must have included

255
00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:12,898
a varmints and critters class.

256
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,785
Come back in, Sheldon,
he's not going to hurt you.

257
00:13:15,787 --> 00:13:18,417
He looks friendly.

258
00:13:18,419 --> 00:13:20,478
I think he might
be someone's pet.

259
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,987
No, Bernadette, don't be a hero!

260
00:13:21,989 --> 00:13:25,374
Oh, he's a sweetie.

261
00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:27,302
Yes. It's very sweet.

262
00:13:27,304 --> 00:13:29,884
Now, slowly and carefully,

263
00:13:29,886 --> 00:13:32,294
flush him down the toilet.

264
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,907
Sheldon, the only way
to get past this fear

265
00:13:37,909 --> 00:13:39,199
is to interact with it.

266
00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:42,224
Just like you did
with the mailman.

267
00:13:42,226 --> 00:13:47,114
Every year tens of people around
the world are killed by birds.

268
00:13:48,388 --> 00:13:51,415
I'm not going to be
another statistic.

269
00:13:51,417 --> 00:13:54,407
Look how sweet he is.
Come over and say hi.

270
00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:00,254
Come on.

271
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,178
You can do it.

272
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:02,656
Don't be scared.

273
00:14:02,658 --> 00:14:04,123
Come on.

274
00:14:07,005 --> 00:14:09,221
Oh, just pet the bird,
you big baby!

275
00:14:16,744 --> 00:14:18,310
I did it!

276
00:14:20,279 --> 00:14:22,442
I actually did it.

277
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,627
Okay, now flush him.

278
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:29,823
So, Leonard,
what do you do for fun?

279
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,037
I'm... let's see.

280
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,009
Hiking.

281
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:37,178
Karaoke in Koreatown.

282
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,499
Any Jennifer Aniston movie.

283
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:43,882
Hey. Sorry I ditched you.

284
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,273
No, it's fine. You can ditch away.
Oh, no, no.

285
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,108
We said we were going to
hang out, let's hang out.

286
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,902
It's cool.
Go back to Kevin.

287
00:14:48,904 --> 00:14:50,583
Oh, he had to leave.

288
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,944
Interesting.

289
00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:54,453
So now that he's gone,
you want to hang out with me.

290
00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:56,056
This must be Penny.
Yep.

291
00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:58,234
I totally get it.

292
00:15:01,312 --> 00:15:03,218
Huh? I'm sorry, get what?

293
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,993
Don't worry about it. You know,
there's some guys over there.

294
00:15:04,996 --> 00:15:06,130
You should go talk to them.

295
00:15:06,132 --> 00:15:07,981
No, no. I want to
know what you told her.

296
00:15:07,983 --> 00:15:10,355
That's kind of
between me and...

297
00:15:10,357 --> 00:15:12,207
Laura.
Laura.

298
00:15:12,209 --> 00:15:13,828
Oh. Okay, I see.

299
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,092
So while he was telling
you things, did he mention

300
00:15:16,094 --> 00:15:18,965
he owns not one,
but two Star Trek uniforms?

301
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:21,250
Really?
Yeah. Wears them.

302
00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:23,456
Not just for Halloween.

303
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,915
Hey, pal.

304
00:15:28,384 --> 00:15:31,020
You didn't see me telling
Kevin that you thought

305
00:15:31,022 --> 00:15:34,178
cold wars were only
fought in winter.

306
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:38,128
Okay. Then I'll return the
favor, and I won't tell...

307
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:39,514
Laura.
...Laura

308
00:15:39,516 --> 00:15:43,669
that half the dirty movies
you own are animated.

309
00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:51,072
When you were telling Kevin
about your acting career,

310
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:54,014
did you mention your
long-running role as "Waitress"

311
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:57,340
in a local production of
The Cheesecake Factory?

312
00:15:57,342 --> 00:16:00,679
Did you tell her about
your lucky asthma inhaler?

313
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:04,239
Oh, yeah? Spell "asthma."

314
00:16:06,453 --> 00:16:08,811
A-s...

315
00:16:08,813 --> 00:16:10,846
Take me home.

316
00:16:10,848 --> 00:16:12,649
Maybe I'm not done
hanging out with...

317
00:16:15,835 --> 00:16:17,049
You're right,
it's getting late.

318
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:25,680
It's remarkable.

319
00:16:25,682 --> 00:16:27,864
All that time spent in fear.

320
00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:29,900
And for what?

321
00:16:29,902 --> 00:16:32,692
He's magnificent.

322
00:16:33,603 --> 00:16:34,985
Oh, dear.

323
00:16:34,987 --> 00:16:37,480
I just realized I haven't
offered you a beverage.

324
00:16:43,594 --> 00:16:48,014
Oh, it's just like my grandma
with her parrot.

325
00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:51,479
And after she lost her marbles
with her remote control.

326
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:56,141
My phone's on the desk
over there.

327
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:58,046
Take a picture of us together.

328
00:16:58,048 --> 00:17:00,143
Make it good enough
to go on a mug,

329
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,897
a mouse pad, and a calendar.

330
00:17:07,712 --> 00:17:10,329
If you were a dove,
I'd call you Lovey-Dovey.

331
00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:12,391
Oh. Who am I kidding?

332
00:17:12,393 --> 00:17:14,603
This isn't a moment for strict
adherence to the literal.

333
00:17:14,605 --> 00:17:17,574
You're just my little
Lovey-Dovey, aren't you?

334
00:17:19,242 --> 00:17:20,498
Guess you gotta
have hollow bones

335
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,508
to get some sugar around here.

336
00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:28,001
I still think he looks
like someone's pet.

337
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:30,077
Maybe we should put up posters.

338
00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:32,389
Yes. It should have
a big picture of him,

339
00:17:32,391 --> 00:17:36,745
and the words, "Is this
your bird? Not anymore."

340
00:17:38,445 --> 00:17:40,915
We're going to have
so much fun together.

341
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,370
You can carry messages
to all my enemies.

342
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:48,999
I can tie a string to your leg
and fly you like a kite.

343
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,189
If you're keeping him,
I've got a cage you can borrow.

344
00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:53,047
One of the test monkeys
slipped on a banana peel

345
00:17:53,049 --> 00:17:54,307
and broke his neck.

346
00:17:56,043 --> 00:17:59,060
It was both tragic
and hysterical.

347
00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:02,835
Nonsense.

348
00:18:02,837 --> 00:18:06,051
No. Lovey-Dovey doesn't
sleep in a cage.

349
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:09,625
No. Lovey-Dovey sleeps
in his very own nest,

350
00:18:09,627 --> 00:18:11,887
which I'm going to get
off the windowsill

351
00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:13,270
and put in my room.

352
00:18:13,272 --> 00:18:15,623
Isn't that right, LD?

353
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,304
No.

354
00:18:21,306 --> 00:18:22,898
Where are you going?

355
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,033
Come back, Lovey-Dovey!

356
00:18:25,035 --> 00:18:26,726
This is your home now!

357
00:18:26,728 --> 00:18:31,267
I already ordered 20 pounds
of bird feed off of Amazon!

358
00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:33,511
He's gone.

359
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,026
I'm sorry, Sheldon.

360
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:38,198
How could he do this to me?

361
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:42,046
Get back here, you stupid bird,
so I can love you!

362
00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:23,243
Okay. So...
we went out,

363
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,941
saw a movie,
met some nice people,

364
00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:28,312
said horrible things
about each other in public...

365
00:19:28,314 --> 00:19:30,253
all in all,
a pretty magical night.

366
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,892
Okay, I'm not innocent
in all this,

367
00:19:32,894 --> 00:19:37,341
but you basically called me
stupid, you asthmatic dumbass.

368
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,507
I know, I-I-I crossed a line.

369
00:19:40,509 --> 00:19:42,297
And I'm sorry.

370
00:19:42,299 --> 00:19:44,372
Nono, no, hang on.
I really mean it.

371
00:19:44,374 --> 00:19:46,972
And it's not like when we were
going out, I'd just apologize

372
00:19:46,974 --> 00:19:49,208
for everything
so we could end up in be

373
00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:52,357
This is a 100%

374
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,182
sex-is-off-the-table
"I'm sorry."

375
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:57,420
All right. Thank you.

376
00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,379
I'm sorry, too.

377
00:19:58,381 --> 00:20:02,361
Just to be clear,
sex is off the table, right?

378
00:20:02,363 --> 00:20:05,232
Way off.

379
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:09,309
Maybe we're not ready
to hang out as friends.

380
00:20:09,311 --> 00:20:11,536
I don't know.
Up until the last part,

381
00:20:11,538 --> 00:20:13,695
I was kind of enjoying
take-charge Leonard

382
00:20:13,697 --> 00:20:14,849
with a little backbone.

383
00:20:14,851 --> 00:20:17,418
Picking the movie,
knowing what he wants,

384
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,191
a little cocky.

385
00:20:19,193 --> 00:20:20,821
Really?
Yeah.

386
00:20:20,823 --> 00:20:25,056
Well, then, I'm putting
sex back on the table.

387
00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:30,349
What do you think about that?

388
00:20:30,351 --> 00:20:32,145
Ooh. Maybe I like it.

389
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,564
You do? Because if that's what
you like, I can be that guy.

390
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,387
I swear, I'll be anything
you want me to be.

391
00:20:36,389 --> 00:20:38,396
Good night, Leonard.

392
00:20:43,185 --> 00:20:46,545
I am such an asthmatic dumbass.

393
00:20:48,239 --> 00:20:49,982
I had a weird night.

394
00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:52,400
Mine w great.

395
00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:55,269
I'm going to be a mommy.

396
00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:57,284
By Mikhel for Subtitulos.es
==SPREAD THE WORD==