1
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:13,600
all right,just a few more feet. And...
2
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:17,280
here we are,gentlemen,the
gates of elzebob.
3
00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:18,820
Good lord.
4
00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:22,210
Don't panic. This is what the
last 97 hours have been about.
5
00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,560
Stay frosty. There's a
horde of armed goblins
6
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:27,870
on the other side of that gate
guarding the sword of asaroth.
7
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,280
Warriors,unsheathe your weapons.
Magic wielders,raise your wands.
8
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:32,430
Lock and load.
9
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,350
Raj,blow the gates.
10
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,350
Blowing the gates.
11
00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:39,640
Control,shift...
12
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:41,080
b!
13
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,120
oh,my god,so many goblins!
14
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,370
Don't just stand there,slash
and move,slash and move!
15
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:49,520
Stay in formation!
16
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:50,930
Leonard,you got one on your tail.
17
00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:53,320
That's all right,my tail's
prehensile- - I'll swat him off.
18
00:00:53,330 --> 00:00:54,670
I got him,leonard.
19
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,440
Tonight I spice my
mead with goblin blood.
20
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,460
Raj,no,it's a trap! They're flanking us!
21
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,390
He's got me!
22
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,000
Sheldon,he's got raj.
Use your sleep spell!
23
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:06,970
Sheldon... sheldon?
24
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:10,440
I've got the sword of asaroth!
25
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,710
Forget the sword,sheldon,help raj!
26
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,340
There is no more sheldon.
27
00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,560
I am the sword master!
28
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:17,770
Leonard,look out!
29
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,180
Damn it,man,we're dying here!
30
00:01:19,190 --> 00:01:20,820
Good
- bye,peasants!
31
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,470
the bastard teleported!
32
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,740
He's selling the sword
of asaroth on ebay.
33
00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:31,500
You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
34
00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:35,220
I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you
people read character descriptions?
35
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:38,180
Wait,wait,wait! Somebody
just clicked "buy it now.
36
00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:41,900
" I am the sword master!
37
00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:46,400
Our whole universe was
in a hot,dense state
38
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,650
then nearly 14 billion years
39
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:50,000
go expansion started... wait!
40
00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:52,980
The earth began to cool the
autotrophs began to drool,
41
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,410
neanderthals developed tools
42
00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:55,350
we built the wall
43
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,340
we built the pyramids
44
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:59,070
math, science,history,
unraveling the mystery
45
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,200
that all started with a big bang bang!
46
00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:02,410
THE BIG BANG THEORY
Season 01 Episode 03
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
47
00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:04,950
sync:YTET-cflily
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
48
00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:08,910
Ooh,I'm all sweaty. Anybody want to
log on to second life and go swimming?
49
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,650
I just built a virtual pool.
50
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,740
No. I can't look at you
or your avatar right now.
51
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,450
sounds like your neighbor's home.
52
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,970
Excuse me.
53
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:26,030
Don't forget the mail you
took accidentally on purpose
54
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,470
so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
55
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,490
Oh,right,right,right,right.
56
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,270
Stealing
snail mail- -
57
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:38,220
Penny,the mailman,did it
again... he... oh,sorry.
58
00:02:38,230 --> 00:02:40,620
Um,oh,hi,leonard. This is doug.
59
00:02:40,630 --> 00:02:42,050
Doug,this is my neighbor leonard.
60
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,640
What's up,bro?
61
00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:47,530
Not much...
62
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,500
bro.
63
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,320
Is everything okay?
64
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:54,740
Yeah,no,I just... I got
your mail again. Here.
65
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,390
Thank you. I've got to
talk to that mailman.
66
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,970
Oh,no,that's probably
not such a good idea.
67
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:05,410
You know,civil servants have a documented
propensity to,you know,snap,so...
68
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,550
okay. Well,thank you again.
69
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,310
No problem. Bye.
70
00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,710
Oh,and bye... bro.
71
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,810
Penny for your thoughts.
72
00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:26,130
What's the matter?
73
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,750
I'm fine. Penny's fine.
74
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,410
The guy she's kissing is really fine.
75
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,980
Kissing,what kind of kissing? Cheeks?
76
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:39,100
What is wrong with you?
77
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:42,290
I'm a romantic.
78
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:47,650
Please don't tell me that your hopeless
infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
79
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,770
I'm not jealous. I'm just
a little concerned for her.
80
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,810
I didn't like the look of
the guy that she was with.
81
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,720
Because he looks better than you?
82
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,700
Yeah.
83
00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:00,200
He was kind of dreamy.
84
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,660
Well,at least now you can retrieve
the black box from the twisted,
85
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,290
olsmdering wreckage that was
once your fantasy of dating her
86
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:10,380
and analyze the data so that you
don't crash into geek mountain.
87
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:15,980
I di. Greesa love is not
a sprint,it's a marathon- -
88
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:20,990
a relentless pursuit that only ends
when she falls into your arms...
89
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,550
or hits you with the pepper spray.
90
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,430
No,I'm done with penny.
91
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,490
I'm going to be more realistic
and go after someone my own speed.
92
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,690
Like who?
93
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:33,040
I don't know... olivia geiger.
94
00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:36,270
The dietician at the cafeteria
with the limp and the lazy eye?
95
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:39,410
Yeah.
96
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:41,370
Oh,I don't think you have a shot there.
97
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,830
I have noticed that leslie winkle
recently started shaving her legs.
98
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,510
Now given that winter is coming,
99
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,660
one can only assume she's
signaling sexual availability.
100
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,320
I don't know. You guys
work in the same lab.
101
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:54,280
So?
102
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:57,400
There are pitfalls. Trust me,I know.
103
00:04:57,410 --> 00:05:02,890
When it comes to sexual harassment
law,I'm a bit of a self taught expert.
104
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:08,600
Look,howard,if I were to ask leslie
winkle out,it would just be for dinner.
105
00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:12,770
I'm not going to walk into the lab,ask
her to strip naked and dance for me.
106
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,860
Oh,then you're probably okay.
107
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:19,840
Hello,leslie.
108
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:20,980
Hi,leonard.
109
00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:22,400
Leslie,I would like to
propose an experiment...
110
00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:24,080
- goggles,leonard.
- Right.
111
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:28,320
Leslie,I would like p
toropose an experiment.
112
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,520
Hang on.
113
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:33,320
I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500
- kilowatt oxygen iodine laser
114
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,480
to heat up my cup a' noodles.
115
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,570
I've done it. About two
seconds. 2. 6 for minestrone.
116
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:51,410
anyway,I was thinking more of a bio- social
exploration with a neuro- chemical overlay.
117
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,890
Wait,are you asking me out?
118
00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:01,160
I was going to characterize it as the modification
of our colleague- slash- friendship paradigm
119
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,050
with the addition of a date
like component,
120
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:06,660
but we don't need to
quibble over terminology.
121
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:09,010
What sort of experiment
would you propose?
122
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,040
There's a generally accepted
pattern in this area.
123
00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:13,670
I would pick you up,take
you to a restaurant.
124
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,400
Then we would see a movie,
125
00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:19,940
probably a romantic comedy featuring the
talents of hugh grant or sandra bullock.
126
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:21,810
Interesting.
127
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:24,640
And would you agree that the
primary way we would evaluate
128
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,030
either the success or failure
of the date would be based
129
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,570
on the biochemical reaction
during the good night kiss?
130
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:31,700
Heart rate,pheromones,etc. Yes.
131
00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:36,170
Why don't we just stipulate that the date
goes well and move to the key variable?
132
00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:37,640
You mean kiss you now?
133
00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,610
Yes.
134
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,320
Can you define the
parameters of the kiss?
135
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,170
Close
- mouthed but romantic. Mint?
136
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:43,680
Thank you.
137
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:51,940
shall I count down from three?
138
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:54,560
No,I think it needs to be spontaneous.
139
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:02,680
What do you think?
140
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:06,030
You proposed the experiment. I think
you should present your findings first.
141
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,360
Fair enough.
142
00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:10,740
On the plus side,it was a good kiss.
143
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:13,250
Reasonable technique,no
extraneous spittle.
144
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,000
On the other hand,no arousal.
145
00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,610
- None?
- None.
146
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,530
Well,thank you for your time.
147
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,160
Thanyok U.
148
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,180
None at all?
149
00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:42,680
Sheldon,if you were a robot,and
I knew and you didn'T... ...
150
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,760
would you want me to tell you?
151
00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,830
That depends.
152
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,360
When I learn that I'm a robot...
153
00:07:53,370 --> 00:07:56,400
will I be able to handle it?
154
00:07:56,830 --> 00:08:00,380
Maybe- - although the history of
science fiction is not on your side.
155
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,640
Okay,uh,let me
ask you this- -
156
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,870
when I learn that I'm a robot,
157
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,720
would I be bound by asimov's
three laws of robotics?
158
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:13,590
You might be bound by them right now.
159
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,030
That's true.
160
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,330
Have you ever harmed a human being
161
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,590
or through inaction allowed
a human being to come to harm?
162
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:22,360
Of course not.
163
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,090
Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed
yourself to be harmed except in cases
164
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,760
where a human being would
have been endangered?
165
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:28,760
Well,no.
166
00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:30,770
I smell robot.
167
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:35,280
Hey,what's going on?
168
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,740
Internet's been down for half an hour.
169
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,310
Also,sheldon may be a robot.
170
00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:46,070
So how'd it go with leslie?
171
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:50,630
Oh,we tried kissing,but
the earth didn't move.
172
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:54,910
I mean,any more than the 383 miles
that it was going to move anyway.
173
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,410
Oh,I've seen that look before.
174
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,630
This is just going to
be two weeks of moping
175
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,250
and tedious emo songs
176
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:06,510
and calling me to come down
to pet stores to look at cats.
177
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,230
I don't know if I can take it.
178
00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:13,070
You could power down.
179
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,490
Well,as usual,wolowitz has the solution.
180
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:23,220
I happen to know a place where
there are plenty of eligible women
181
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,390
and leonard could have his pick.
182
00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:37,000
remember the latin hips.
183
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,280
Shoulders stay still,and... we sway.
184
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,350
One,two,three... ...
185
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,490
five,six,seven.
186
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,350
I think mrs. Tishman's
got her eye on you.
187
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:56,420
I've been there. You're in for a treat.
188
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,500
She said,"you don't know me"
189
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:09,990
doyou "n't even care"
190
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,880
oh,yeah...
191
00:10:11,890 --> 00:10:13,080
oh,good lord.
192
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,450
She said,"you don't know me"
193
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:21,600
"you don't wear my chains"
194
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,440
oh,yeah. God,that's a good song.
195
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,420
If you're compiling a mix
cd for a double suicide.
196
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:33,460
Oh,I hope that scratching
post is for you.
197
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,020
I know what you're thinking. I've
taken your asthma into account.
198
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,210
There's a feline geneticist in san diego
199
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,290
who's developed the cutest
little hypoallergenic calicos.
200
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,280
Leonard,listen to me...
201
00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:44,420
I've been thinking about names.
202
00:10:44,430 --> 00:10:48,480
I'm kind of torn between
einstein,newton and sergeant fuzzy boots.
203
00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:51,440
Leonard,do you really think
you can satisfy your need
204
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:54,230
for a relationshh witip
a genetically altered cat?
205
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:56,050
Maybe.
206
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,650
If it's a cute,little,cuddly cat.
207
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:01,020
Oh,come on. Leonard...
208
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,270
this is obviously about penny.
209
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,790
It doesn't matter.
210
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,690
The woman's not interested
in me. The woman rejected me.
211
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:18,620
Okay,look,I think that you have as much of a
chance of having a sexual relationship with penny
212
00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:22,780
as the hubble telescope does of discovering at
the center of every black hole is a little man
213
00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:25,740
with a flashlight searching
for a circuit breaker.
214
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,180
Nevertheless,
215
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:35,040
I do feel obligated to point out
to you that she did not reject you.
216
00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:37,790
You did not ask her out.
217
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,740
You're right.
218
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,760
I didn't ask her out.
I should ask her out.
219
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,990
No,no,now that was not my point.
220
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:48,040
My point was don't buy a cat.
221
00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:50,650
No,but you're right.
222
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,160
I should march over
there and ask her out.
223
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:56,230
Oh,goody,we're getting a cat.
224
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,430
Uh... no.
225
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,540
Oh,hey,leonard.
226
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,120
Good afternoon,penny. So,hi... hey.
227
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,030
Uh...
228
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,450
I was wondering if you
had plans for dinner.
229
00:12:11,460 --> 00:12:13,160
Uh,you mean dinner tonight?
230
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,710
There is an inherent
ambiguity in the word "dinner.
231
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,220
" Technically it refers to the largest
meal of the day whenever it's consumed.
232
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,810
So to clarify here,by
dinner I mean supper.
233
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,720
- Supper?
- Or dinner.
234
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:28,760
I was thinking 6:30 if you
can go. Or a different time.
235
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:30,360
Uh,6:30's great.
236
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:31,970
Really?
237
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,370
Great.
238
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:36,040
Yeah,I like hanging out with you guys.
239
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,130
Us guys?
240
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:40,180
Yeah,you know,sheldon,howard,raj.
Who all's coming?
241
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:45,070
They... might all be there.
242
00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:49,330
Or a subset of them might be there.
243
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:51,950
Algebraically speaking,there
are too many unknowns.
244
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,190
For example,sheldon
had quiznos for lunch.
245
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,650
Sometimes he finds that
filling,other times he doesn'T.
246
00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:59,750
It's no fault of quiznos-
- they have a varied menu.
247
00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:03,790
Okay,whatever. It sounds like fun.
248
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:06,710
Great. Did we say a time?
249
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:07,570
6:30.
250
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:09,370
- And that's still good for you?
- It's fine.
251
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:12,080
- 'Cause it's not carved in stone.
- No,6:30's great.
252
00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:14,300
I'll get my chisel.
253
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,710
Why?
254
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,270
To... carve the... I'll see you at 6:30.
255
00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:35,260
How do I look?
256
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,690
Could you be more specific?
257
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,480
Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
258
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:47,570
No.
259
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:51,210
The dark crescent shaped patterns
under your arms conceal it nicely.
260
00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:54,250
What time is your date?
261
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:55,230
6:30.
262
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,060
Perfect. That gives you
two hours and 15 minutes for
263
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,820
that dense molecular cloud
of aramis to dissipate.
264
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,070
Is it too much?
265
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,250
Not if you're a rugby team.
266
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,120
By the way,if it should ever
come up,you didn't join us
267
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:12,190
because you stuffed yourself with
a chicken carbonara sub at quiznos.
268
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,580
Why would I join you?
269
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,500
No reason.
270
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:21,310
Oh,you know what,maybe
this isn't such a good idea.
271
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:25,750
Oh,no,well,now there's always the
possibility that alcohol and poor judgment
272
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,420
on her part might lead to
a nice romantic evening.
273
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:33,040
You're right. Alcohol,poor
judgment- - it could go well.
274
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,390
Of course there is
the other possibility,
275
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,120
that this date kicks off a
rather unpleasant six months
276
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,870
of the two of you passing
awkwardly in the hall,
277
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,530
until one of you breaks down
and moves to another zip code.
278
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:45,950
You could've stopped
at "it could go well.
279
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,820
" If I could've,I would've.
280
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:51,900
I mean,I'm a perfectly nice guy.
281
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,490
There's no reason we couldn't go to
the restaurant,and have a lovely dinner,
282
00:14:55,500 --> 00:15:00,000
maybe take a walk afterwards,talk
about things we have in common.
283
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:03,630
You love pottery? I love pottery!
284
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,400
There's a pause,we both
know what's happening.
285
00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,450
I lean in,we kiss.
286
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:10,390
It's a little tentative at first,but
then I realize she's kissing me back.
287
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,670
She's biting my lower lip! She wants me!
288
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,730
This thing is going the
distance! We're going to have sex!
289
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,900
Oh,god,oh,my god!
290
00:15:18,790 --> 00:15:21,160
Is the sex starting now?
291
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,470
I'm having a panic attack.
292
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,260
Oh,okay. Uh,well then... calm down.
293
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:30,740
If I could calm down,I wobe having a panic
att... that's why they call it a panic attack.
294
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:33,130
All right,all right.
Uh,s- s- sit down.
295
00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:35,620
Yeah,sit down. Now close your eyes.
296
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:36,780
- Why?
- Just do it.
297
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:37,490
Okay.
298
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,780
Now try to increase
your alpha wave activity.
299
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:41,660
What? !
300
00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:43,830
It's a biofeedback technique.
301
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,670
It's relaxation through
brain wave manipulation.
302
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,470
I read a paper about it in
journal of american neuroscience.
303
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,280
It was a little sparsely sourced,but
I think the basic science is valid.
304
00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:53,980
I probably have it here somewher E.
305
00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:55,750
Who am I kidding? I can't
go through with this.
306
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,330
You need to call her and cancel.
307
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,200
- Me?
- Yes.
308
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,460
- What should I tell her?
- I don't know.
309
00:16:00,470 --> 00:16:02,200
- Tell her I'm sick.
- Okay.
310
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,870
Not the kind of illness that will make
her want to come over and take care of me,
311
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,460
but nothing so critical that she'll feel
uncomfortable going out with me in the future
312
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:09,540
if I want to try this again.
313
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,690
Got it.
314
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,470
So I'm assuming nothing venereal?
315
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:20,450
I'll just tell her that you had a routine
conoloscopy and haven't quite bounced back.
316
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:22,710
Give me the phone.
317
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,000
I thought you wanted to cancel.
318
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:26,690
I can't,because if I don't show
up she'll still be expecting you.
319
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,070
Why would she be expecting me?
320
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,540
Stop asking me all these questions.
I need to take another shower.
321
00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,420
So are the rest of the
guys meeting us here?
322
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:41,480
Oh,yeah... no.
323
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,720
It turns out that raj and
howard had to work,and sheldon...
324
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:49,670
had a colonoscopy and he
hasn't quite bounced back yet.
325
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,540
Oh,my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
326
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:57,040
You're kidding. Then that's
something we have in common.
327
00:16:58,130 --> 00:16:59,810
How?
328
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:02,840
We both have people in our lives who...
329
00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:06,290
want to nip intestinal
polyps in the bud.
330
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,990
so what's new in the world of physics?
331
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:17,370
Nothing.
332
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,680
Really? Nothing?
333
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:25,360
Well,with the exception of string theory,
not much has happened since the 1930s.
334
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,280
And you can't prove string theory.
335
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:29,050
At best you can say,"hey,look,
336
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:32,820
my idea has an internal
logical consistency.
337
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,250
" Ah.
338
00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:37,420
Well,I'm sure things will pick up.
339
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:43,900
What's new at the cheesecake factory?
340
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:46,440
Oh,uh,not much.
341
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:50,050
We do have a chocolate key
lime that's moving pretty well.
342
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:54,030
Good. Good.
343
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:59,910
What about your,uh...
344
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,730
hallway friend?
345
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:04,270
Doug? Oh,yeah,I don't know.
346
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,390
I mean,you know,he's
nice and funny,but...
347
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,400
can I get you started with some drinks?
348
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:09,220
No!
349
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,890
- You were saying? But...
- I'd like a drink.
350
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,790
Just say the "but" thing about
doug and then I'll get her back.
351
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,020
Okay,well,I don't know,it's just me.
352
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:21,460
I'm still getting over
this breakup with kurt
353
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:24,220
and this thing with doug
would stju be rebound sex.
354
00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:28,050
Oh,don't get me started on rebound sex.
355
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:30,910
It's just... it's my pattern.
356
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,310
I break up,then I find some cute guy,
357
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,240
and then it's just 36
meaningless hours of...
358
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,220
you know.
359
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,330
I'm not sure that I do.
360
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,600
is that one 36-hour experience,
361
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:49,190
or is that 36 hours
spread out over,say...
362
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,670
one glorious summer?
363
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,450
No,it's usually over a weekend,
364
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:56,150
and trust me,you do
not feel good after it.
365
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,730
Well,chafing,right?
366
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,110
Emotionally.
367
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,590
Of course,yeah,emotional chafing.
368
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,320
Hey,do you want to see something cool?
369
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:18,980
I can make this olive go into
this glass without touching it.
370
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,890
- How?
- Physics.
371
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,470
Wow,centrifugal force.
372
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,810
Actually,it's centripetal force,
373
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:35,980
which is an inward force generated
by the glass acting on the olive...
374
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:38,730
Excuse me.
375
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:41,760
If you were riding on the olive,
376
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:45,030
you'd be in a non
- inertial reference frame and would...
377
00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:47,910
are you okay?
378
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,620
Yeah,I'm okay.
379
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:52,460
Did you spill ketchup?
380
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:54,660
- No.
- I'm not okay.
381
00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:58,930
Are you sure you don't want
to go to the emergency room?
382
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:01,900
No,no,I'm okay. It stopped bleeding.
383
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,820
I know,but you did throw up.
Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
384
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:07,790
Yes. But I get car sick,too,so...
385
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:09,870
okay.
386
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,530
Sorry about your car,by the way.
387
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:14,220
Oh,no,it's fine. You got
most of it out the window.
388
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:17,160
The poor guy on the bike.
389
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,780
Well,I had a nice time.
390
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:23,600
Yeah,me,too.
391
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:26,030
Well,um,good night.
392
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,980
Good night.
393
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,510
- Leonard?
- Ahye?
394
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,720
Was this supposed to be a date?
395
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:36,000
This?
396
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,840
No.
397
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,870
No,of course not.
398
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,540
This was just you and me
hanging out with a bunch of guys
399
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:46,900
who didn't show up 'cause
of work and a colonoscopy.
400
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:50,970
Okay,I was just checking.
401
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,360
When I take a girl on
a date- - and I do- -
402
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,490
she knows she's been dated.
403
00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:03,310
Capital D.
404
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,400
boldface. Undeinrled.
405
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:08,160
Da... ted.
406
00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:11,770
I think I might have a little
concussion. I'm gonna go lie down.
407
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:13,620
Good night.
408
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:19,060
So,how was your date?
409
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,060
Awesome!
410
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,130
Score one for liquor and poor judgment.
411
00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:30,700
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