1
00:00:00,651 --> 00:00:03,011
This sandwich is an 
unmitigated disaster.

2
00:00:04,298 --> 00:00:06,170
I asked for turkey and roast beef

3
00:00:06,242 --> 00:00:07,713
with lettuce and swiss 
on whole wheat.

4
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:08,770
What did they give you?

5
00:00:08,865 --> 00:00:09,801
Turkey and roast beef

6
00:00:09,881 --> 00:00:11,961
with swiss and lettuce 
on whole wheat.

7
00:00:18,064 --> 00:00:20,967
It's the right ingredients 
but in the wrong order.

8
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:22,982
In a proper sandwich

9
00:00:23,017 --> 00:00:24,805
the cheese is adjacent to the bread

10
00:00:24,826 --> 00:00:26,973
to create a moisture barrier 
against the lettuce.

11
00:00:28,756 --> 00:00:30,780
They might as well drag
this thing into a car wash.

12
00:00:32,335 --> 00:00:33,619
I don't believe it.

13
00:00:33,722 --> 00:00:35,213
I know, it's basic culinary science.

14
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,460
Some guy is actioning up a 
miniature time machine prop

15
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:41,347
from the original film 
and nobody's bidding on it.

16
00:00:41,494 --> 00:00:43,905
A time machine from the 
movie "The time machine"?

17
00:00:44,498 --> 00:00:47,320
No, a time machine from "Sophie's choice".

18
00:00:47,937 --> 00:00:50,271
Boy, Sophie could have used 
a time machine in that movie

19
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:51,882
Did you see it? It's rough.

20
00:00:54,144 --> 00:00:55,087
Oh that's cool.

21
00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:56,767
It's only 800 dollars?

22
00:00:56,771 --> 00:00:58,398
Yes, and that's my bid.

23
00:00:58,614 --> 00:00:59,894
You bid 800 dollars?

24
00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,526
Yes, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing

25
00:01:01,658 --> 00:01:03,062
I figured it would go for thousands

26
00:01:03,157 --> 00:01:04,660
and I just wanted to be a part of it.

27
00:01:05,437 --> 00:01:07,005
There's only 30 seconds 
left in the auction.

28
00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:08,423
Do you have 800 dollars?

29
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:10,427
Not to blow on a 
miniature time machine.

30
00:01:10,895 --> 00:01:12,088
Oh don't worry, the way 
this thing works

31
00:01:12,145 --> 00:01:13,364
is people waiting till 
the last seconds to bid

32
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,328
and then they swoop in and get it.
It's called sniping.

33
00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:16,344
15 seconds.

34
00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:17,783
Come on snipers.

35
00:01:19,803 --> 00:01:22,047
Ten, nine, eight...

36
00:01:22,054 --> 00:01:23,158
Where are your snipers?

37
00:01:24,306 --> 00:01:25,424
- Five
- Snipe!

38
00:01:25,465 --> 00:01:26,293
- Four
- Snipe!

39
00:01:26,681 --> 00:01:27,432
- Three
- Snipe!

40
00:01:27,497 --> 00:01:28,253
- Two
- Snipe!

41
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:29,581
One...

42
00:01:30,899 --> 00:01:31,598
Congratulations!

43
00:01:32,055 --> 00:01:34,830
You are a proud owner of 
a miniature time machine.

44
00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,164
You lucky duck.

45
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:39,465
I wonder why no one else bid

46
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,193
This is a classic piece of 
sci-fi movie memorabilia.

47
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,139
I know! I still can't afford it.

48
00:01:44,548 --> 00:01:45,515
Why don't we share it?

49
00:01:45,607 --> 00:01:46,986
Well each put 200 bucks and

50
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,250
we'll take turns having it in our house.

51
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,954
A time shared time machine.

52
00:01:52,184 --> 00:01:54,391
I'm in. Sheldon?
Need you ask?

53
00:01:55,457 --> 00:01:57,183
But I still don't understand 
why no one else bid.

54
00:02:06,899 --> 00:02:08,572
I understand why no one else bid.

55
00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:13,128
Our whole universe was
in a hot,dense state

56
00:02:13,281 --> 00:02:16,824
then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... wait!

57
00:02:17,215 --> 00:02:18,160
The Earth began to cool 
The autotrophs began to drool,

58
00:02:18,324 --> 00:02:21,148
Neanderthals developed tools 
We built the wall

59
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,134
We built the pyramids
Math, Science, History

60
00:02:23,238 --> 00:02:25,925
Unraveling the mystery 
That all started

61
00:02:26,053 --> 00:02:27,733
With a Big Bang! 
Bang!

62
00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:28,734
www.wikisubtitles.net

63
00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:29,735
The Big Bang Theory S01 E14
The Nerdmabelia Scattering

64
00:02:29,736 --> 00:02:30,736
The Big Bang Theory S01 E14
The Nerdmabelia Scattering

65
00:02:37,469 --> 00:02:39,837
Did the listing actually 
said "miniature"?

66
00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:43,390
I just assumed.

67
00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:47,828
Who sells a full size time 
machine for 800 dollars?

68
00:02:49,189 --> 00:02:52,188
In a Venn diagram that 
would be an individual located

69
00:02:52,192 --> 00:02:53,544
within the intersection of the sets:

70
00:02:53,624 --> 00:02:55,199
"No longer want my time machine"

71
00:02:55,279 --> 00:02:56,265
and "Need 800 dollars".

72
00:02:58,201 --> 00:03:00,186
It's actually a tremendous bargain.

73
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,561
Even with shipping it works out

74
00:03:01,726 --> 00:03:03,217
to less than four dollars a pound.

75
00:03:04,816 --> 00:03:06,289
Cocktails shrimp at 12.50.

76
00:03:09,092 --> 00:03:10,488
How are we gonna get it upstairs?

77
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,566
If we take the dish off

78
00:03:13,763 --> 00:03:14,818
it might fit in the elevator.

79
00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:17,565
Yes but the elevator has 
been broken for two years.

80
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,133
I've been meaning to ask you

81
00:03:19,169 --> 00:03:20,969
Do you think we should 
make a call about that?

82
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,357
Not necessarily.

83
00:03:24,423 --> 00:03:26,453
I have a masters in engineering.

84
00:03:26,555 --> 00:03:28,939
I remotely repair satellites 
on a regular basis.

85
00:03:29,602 --> 00:03:31,923
I troubleshoot space 
shuttle payloads.

86
00:03:33,086 --> 00:03:36,009
When the Mars Rover started 
pulling to the left, I performed

87
00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:40,073
a front end alignment from 
62 millions miles away.

88
00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:51,469
No, that baby's broken.

89
00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:56,005
Come on guys, push!

90
00:03:56,412 --> 00:03:57,901
If I push any harder

91
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,636
I'm gonna give birth to my colon.

92
00:04:00,856 --> 00:04:02,684
I can't feel my fingers!
Hurry up!

93
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:03,863
It's the same amount of work

94
00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:04,954
no matter how fast you go.

95
00:04:05,026 --> 00:04:06,190
Basic physics.

96
00:04:06,198 --> 00:04:07,274
- Sheldon?
- Yeah?

97
00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:09,074
If my fingers ever work again

98
00:04:09,361 --> 00:04:10,778
I've got a job for the middle one.

99
00:04:12,741 --> 00:04:13,464
Oh hey guys.

100
00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:14,433
Hi Penny.

101
00:04:17,964 --> 00:04:18,747
Take a break guys.

102
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:21,342
What are you doing?

103
00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:23,647
We're just, you know, 
moving something upstairs.

104
00:04:24,135 --> 00:04:25,005
What is it?

105
00:04:25,289 --> 00:04:28,078
Just, you know, a time machine.

106
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,941
Yeah, ok, neat, but I 
really gotta get to work, so...

107
00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:33,201
- Just give us a few minutes.
- I don't have a few minutes.

108
00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:34,196
I'm running really late.

109
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,011
I have a sample solution.

110
00:04:36,107 --> 00:04:38,204
Go up to the roof, hop 
over the next building

111
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,299
There's a small gap

112
00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:40,652
- don't look down if you suffer the vertigo - 

113
00:04:40,831 --> 00:04:42,018
and use their stairway.

114
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,507
You're joking, right?

115
00:04:44,606 --> 00:04:46,337
I never joke when it comes to vertigo.

116
00:04:48,964 --> 00:04:51,280
Damn... Ok, I'll just take the roof.

117
00:04:51,944 --> 00:04:54,112
Hey, if you wait for us to 
set up the time machine

118
00:04:54,115 --> 00:04:55,736
I can drop you off to work yesterday.

119
00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:00,501
Time travel... jokes. 
Nevermind.

120
00:05:02,598 --> 00:05:04,373
For what it's worth, 
I thought it was humorous.

121
00:05:08,856 --> 00:05:09,948
Let's just do this.

122
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:11,572
Guys, ready to push?

123
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:12,946
In a minute.

124
00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:14,482
Howard stepped outside to throw up.

125
00:05:20,785 --> 00:05:22,337
I don't know what you're worried about.

126
00:05:22,421 --> 00:05:23,929
I think it really works in the room.

127
00:05:25,932 --> 00:05:26,615
Yeah.

128
00:05:26,704 --> 00:05:28,448
It is by far the coolest thing

129
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:29,640
I've ever owned.

130
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,575
The exact time machine that 
carried actor Rod Taylor

131
00:05:32,615 --> 00:05:33,654
from victorian England

132
00:05:33,919 --> 00:05:35,551
into the post-apocaliptic future

133
00:05:35,818 --> 00:05:37,942
where society had splintered 
into two factions:

134
00:05:38,325 --> 00:05:40,789
The subterranean Morlocks, 
who survived by feasting

135
00:05:40,877 --> 00:05:42,997
on the flesh of the gentle 
surface-dwelling Eloi.

136
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,187
Talk about you chick magnet.

137
00:05:50,139 --> 00:05:51,298
Oh, yeah.

138
00:05:51,382 --> 00:05:53,170
The guy who lives next to me is always like

139
00:05:53,246 --> 00:05:54,897
"I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony"

140
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,433
"I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony"

141
00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:57,961
Wait until I tell him

142
00:05:58,409 --> 00:06:00,177
"I've got a time machine on my balcony"

143
00:06:02,298 --> 00:06:04,142
Stuff that in your Speedoes,
Jacuzzi Bob."

144
00:06:05,719 --> 00:06:07,775
Gentlemen, I know we 
said we'd take turns

145
00:06:07,819 --> 00:06:08,727
but I think you'll agree

146
00:06:08,774 --> 00:06:11,286
that practicality dictates 
it remain here.

147
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:12,897
You can't just keep it here

148
00:06:12,908 --> 00:06:14,177
What if I meet a girl and say

149
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,693
"Do you wanna come up 
and see my time machine?

150
00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:16,923
It's at my friend's house"

151
00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,139
How lame is that?

152
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,727
- He's got a point.
- All right.

153
00:06:20,752 --> 00:06:22,819
I think we're going to need 
some ground rules, in addiction

154
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,923
to the expected 
"No shoes in the time machine"

155
00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:26,281
and "No eating in the time machine"

156
00:06:26,363 --> 00:06:28,621
I propose that we add 
"Pants must be worn

157
00:06:28,661 --> 00:06:30,169
at all times in the time machine"

158
00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:32,432
Second it.

159
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,952
I was gonna put down a towel.

160
00:06:39,196 --> 00:06:40,526
I still want it on my balcony.

161
00:06:40,802 --> 00:06:42,918
I say we move it on a bimonthly basis.

162
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,457
- Yeah, that sounds fair
- Hold on.

163
00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:46,352
"bimonthly" is an ambiguous term.

164
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,319
Do you mean moving it every 
other month or twice a month?

165
00:06:48,512 --> 00:06:49,583
- Twice a month.
- Then no.

166
00:06:50,186 --> 00:06:51,315
Ok, every other month.

167
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,026
No.

168
00:06:53,702 --> 00:06:55,306
Sheldon, you can't be selfish.

169
00:06:55,401 --> 00:06:57,169
We all paid for it so it belongs to all of us.

170
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,794
Now get out of the way so 
I can sit on my time machine.

171
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:14,038
Ok. I'm setting the dials 
for 10th March 1876.

172
00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:16,198
Good choice, Alexander Graham Bell

173
00:07:16,221 --> 00:07:18,271
invents the telephone and 
calls out for Dr. Watson.

174
00:07:18,537 --> 00:07:20,382
Wait a minute, I want to see that too.

175
00:07:20,518 --> 00:07:21,934
So when it's your turn you can.

176
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,696
But if you all go back to 
the same point and time

177
00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:25,397
Bell's lab is going to get very crowded.

178
00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:26,813
He'll know something's up.

179
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,877
Also, since the time machine 
doesn't move in space

180
00:07:30,165 --> 00:07:32,381
you'll end up in 1876 Pasadena.

181
00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:34,315
And even if you can make it
to Boston, what are you gonna do?

182
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:35,741
Knock on the door and say to Mrs Bell

183
00:07:35,472 --> 00:07:37,155
Hey, Mrs Bell, I'm a big 
fan of your husband

184
00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:38,682
Can I come in and watch him 
inventing the telephone?

185
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:40,885
Mrs Bell was deaf

186
00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:42,169
She's not even going to hear you knock.

187
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,360
I have a solution.

188
00:07:45,473 --> 00:07:48,272
First, go into the future 
and obtain a cloaking device.

189
00:07:48,788 --> 00:07:49,680
How far into the future?

190
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:50,792
If I remember correctly

191
00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:52,534
Captain Kirk would steal a cloaking device

192
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,304
from the Romulans on Star Date 5027.3

193
00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:58,921
Which would be 10th January 2328 
by pre-federation reckoning.

194
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:05,207
Ok, I'm setting the dials 
for 10th January 2328.

195
00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,407
Here we go into the future.

196
00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:30,797
That was fun.

197
00:08:32,552 --> 00:08:33,364
My turn!

198
00:08:34,776 --> 00:08:36,386
Ok, first of all

199
00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:38,978
what you call a gap was 
nearly three feet wide

200
00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:40,842
- I slipped and skinned my knee.
- Are you ok?

201
00:08:42,308 --> 00:08:43,872
Second of all, the door to the stairway

202
00:08:43,937 --> 00:08:45,000
of the other building was locked.

203
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:46,537
so I had to go down the fire escape

204
00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:47,691
which ends on the third floor

205
00:08:47,725 --> 00:08:49,321
forcing me to crawl to the window

206
00:08:49,343 --> 00:08:50,832
of a lovely Armenian family

207
00:08:50,971 --> 00:08:52,391
who insisted I'd stay for lunch.

208
00:08:53,998 --> 00:08:55,247
That doesn't sound too bad.

209
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,766
It was eight courses of lamb.

210
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,790
And they tried to fix me up with their son.

211
00:09:01,281 --> 00:09:02,218
- Sorry.
- Not done.

212
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:03,602
By the time I finally

213
00:09:03,604 --> 00:09:05,263
got to work they'd given my shift away.

214
00:09:05,305 --> 00:09:06,288
Yeah, that's right

215
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,783
I've lost an entire day's pay thanks to this.

216
00:09:08,904 --> 00:09:10,528
- this...
- time machine

217
00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:15,912
The lights flash, the dish spins, 
do you wanna try it?

218
00:09:15,997 --> 00:09:17,040
No!!

219
00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:19,381
I don't wanna try it

220
00:09:19,463 --> 00:09:21,261
My God, you are grown men.

221
00:09:21,869 --> 00:09:23,628
How can you waste your lives with these

222
00:09:23,681 --> 00:09:25,512
stupid toys, and costumes

223
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,563
and comic books and...
and now that!

224
00:09:27,981 --> 00:09:30,171
- That...
- Again, time machine.

225
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,290
Oh please, it's not
time machine

226
00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:35,177
If anything it looks like something

227
00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:37,279
Elton John would drive 
through the Everglades.

228
00:09:43,772 --> 00:09:45,551
It only moves in time.

229
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:48,335
It would be worse than useless in a swamp.

230
00:09:53,972 --> 00:09:55,764
Pathethic! all of you!

231
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,398
Completely pathethic

232
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:03,739
My turn

233
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:22,378
Leonard, it's 2:00 in the morning

234
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:24,714
So?

235
00:10:24,869 --> 00:10:25,945
So it's my turn.

236
00:10:29,508 --> 00:10:31,290
Why did you set it for the day before yesterday?

237
00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:34,020
Because I wanna go back and keep myself from

238
00:10:34,109 --> 00:10:35,453
getting a time machine.

239
00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:39,429
You can't. If you would prevent 
yourself from buying it in the past

240
00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:40,996
you wouldn't have it available in the present 

241
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,387
to travel back and stop yourself

242
00:10:42,427 --> 00:10:44,011
from buying it. Ergo, you'd still have it.

243
00:10:44,347 --> 00:10:46,050
This is a classic working 
time-travel mistake.

244
00:10:49,856 --> 00:10:52,424
Can I go back and prevent you 
from explaining that to me?

245
00:10:53,836 --> 00:10:54,569
Same paradox

246
00:10:54,941 --> 00:10:56,440
If you were to travel back in time

247
00:10:56,605 --> 00:10:57,759
and, say, knock me unconscious

248
00:10:58,079 --> 00:10:59,330
you would not then have the conversation

249
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,752
that irritated you

250
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:02,206
motivating you to knock me unconscious.

251
00:11:04,262 --> 00:11:05,877
What if I knock you unconscious right now?

252
00:11:08,165 --> 00:11:09,086
It won't change the past.

253
00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,117
But it'd make the present 
so much nicer.

254
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,732
Are you upset about something?

255
00:11:17,683 --> 00:11:19,122
What was your first clue?

256
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:21,898
Well, that was a number of things.

257
00:11:22,206 --> 00:11:23,378
First, the late hour.

258
00:11:23,518 --> 00:11:25,761
Then your demeanor seems 
very low energy

259
00:11:25,848 --> 00:11:27,053
- Plus your irritability...
- Yes, I'm upset!

260
00:11:28,705 --> 00:11:30,196
I don't usually pick up on those things.

261
00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:32,408
Good for me.

262
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,814
Yes, good for you.

263
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:38,798
Oh, wait.

264
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:43,109
Did you wanna talk about 
what's bothering you?

265
00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:45,796
I don't know, maybe.

266
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,668
Wow, I'm on fire tonight.

267
00:11:52,827 --> 00:11:53,826
Here's the thing.

268
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:58,586
Girls like Penny never end up 
with guys who own time machines.

269
00:11:59,229 --> 00:12:00,018
I disagree.

270
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:03,280
Your inability to successfully woo Penny

271
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,192
long predates your acquisition 
of the time machine.

272
00:12:07,979 --> 00:12:10,008
That failure clearly stands on itself.

273
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,182
Thanks for pointing it out.

274
00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,238
In addiction, your premise is flaw.

275
00:12:15,282 --> 00:12:18,197
In the original film Rod Taylor 
got Yvette Mimieux

276
00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:19,445
in that very time machine.

277
00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:22,436
in "Back to the future" Marty McFly
 got the opportunity

278
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:24,500
to hook up with his extremely 
attractive young mother.

279
00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:28,851
Those are movies.

280
00:12:29,172 --> 00:12:30,275
Of course they are movies.

281
00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:32,658
Were you expecting me to 
come up with an example

282
00:12:32,675 --> 00:12:34,459
involving a real-life time machine?

283
00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:38,121
It's absurd.

284
00:12:40,705 --> 00:12:41,767
Come on, guys, push!

285
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,664
If I push any harder

286
00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:45,345
I'm gonna give birth to my colon.

287
00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:48,623
Hi guys.

288
00:12:48,766 --> 00:12:49,606
Hi Penny.

289
00:12:52,761 --> 00:12:53,625
Take a break guys!

290
00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:56,312
What are you doing?

291
00:12:56,464 --> 00:12:59,244
Oh, you know... just moving 
a... time machine.

292
00:13:01,124 --> 00:13:03,266
Yeah, ok, neat, but I really 
gotta get to work, so...

293
00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:04,340
No problem

294
00:13:11,296 --> 00:13:12,009
Hang on.

295
00:13:13,812 --> 00:13:15,313
But, what about your
time machine?

296
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,497
Something more important
than the toys

297
00:13:27,146 --> 00:13:28,110
I'm scared

298
00:13:28,829 --> 00:13:30,300
Don't worry baby.
I've got you.

299
00:13:52,591 --> 00:13:53,566
It's still my turn.

300
00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:00,734
What are you doing?

301
00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:03,822
I'm packing up all my collectibles

302
00:14:03,832 --> 00:14:06,136
and taking them down at the 
comic books store to sell.

303
00:14:07,192 --> 00:14:08,307
Was that really necessary?

304
00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:10,820
If you need money you can 
always sell blood.

305
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:14,105
and semen.

306
00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:17,090
Not about money

307
00:14:18,222 --> 00:14:18,961
We brought food!

308
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,731
Lox and bagels, the breakfast 
for time travellers.

309
00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:23,484
Terrific

310
00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:25,424
Does anyone want to buy my 
share of the time machine?

311
00:14:25,488 --> 00:14:25,946
Why?

312
00:14:26,135 --> 00:14:27,352
I don't want it anymore.

313
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:28,390
Why?

314
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:29,934
just...personal reason

315
00:14:30,365 --> 00:14:33,369
My spidy sense tells me this 
has something to do with Penny.

316
00:14:33,961 --> 00:14:34,713
Look,

317
00:14:34,905 --> 00:14:36,675
- Do you want to buy me out or not?
- I'll give you

318
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,776
100 dollars, which will 
make me half owner

319
00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:40,111
and we'll put it on my balcony.

320
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,144
Screw his balcony

321
00:14:41,231 --> 00:14:42,886
I'll give you 120 and we'll put it in my garage.

322
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,078
I paid 200 dollars for my share.

323
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:46,223
Dude, everybody knows

324
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,644
a time machine loses half his value

325
00:14:47,723 --> 00:14:48,947
the minute you drive him off the lot.

326
00:14:50,621 --> 00:14:53,152
I go for 200 and that time 
machine stands right where it is.

327
00:14:53,289 --> 00:14:57,180
300, and I'll throw in my 
original 1979 Mattel Millennium Falcon

328
00:14:57,179 --> 00:14:58,315
with real light speed 
sound effects.

329
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:02,420
No, no more toys or action figures

330
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,871
or props or replicas 
or costumes or robots

331
00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,516
or Darth Vader's voice changers.

332
00:15:07,611 --> 00:15:08,747
I'm getting rid of all of it

333
00:15:09,402 --> 00:15:10,372
You can't do that.

334
00:15:10,462 --> 00:15:11,707
Look at what you've created here.

335
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,107
It's like "Nerdvana".

336
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:17,645
More importantly,

337
00:15:18,368 --> 00:15:20,004
you have a Darth Vader's 
voice changer?

338
00:15:21,706 --> 00:15:22,435
Not for long.

339
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,922
Oh, I call dibs on the Golden Age Flash.

340
00:15:25,015 --> 00:15:25,797
Hang on, I need that

341
00:15:25,864 --> 00:15:27,833
to complete my Justice Society 
of America collection.

342
00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:28,531
Too bad, I called dibs.

343
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:30,187
- You can't just call dibs.
- I can and I did

344
00:15:30,213 --> 00:15:31,101
Look at "dibs" on the Wikipedia.

345
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:34,963
Dibs doesn't apply in a bidding war.

346
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:36,339
It's not a bidding war.

347
00:15:36,932 --> 00:15:38,987
I'm selling it all to Larry 
down at the comic books store.

348
00:15:39,251 --> 00:15:40,484
Why Larry? Did Larry call dibs?

349
00:15:40,582 --> 00:15:41,419
Would you forget dibs?

350
00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:44,426
He offered me a fair price 
for the whole collection.

351
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:45,778
What's the number? I'll match it.

352
00:15:46,197 --> 00:15:48,082
I'll match it plus 1000 rupies

353
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,961
- What's the exchange rate?
- None of your business.

354
00:15:51,069 --> 00:15:51,961
Take it or leave it.

355
00:15:52,943 --> 00:15:54,068
Mom, my Bar Mitzvah bond

356
00:15:54,116 --> 00:15:55,120
how much have I got?

357
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:56,194
Thanks.

358
00:15:56,512 --> 00:15:58,774
I can go 2.600 dollars 
and two trees in Israel.

359
00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:02,349
Forget it.

360
00:16:02,426 --> 00:16:03,590
If I sell it to one of you

361
00:16:03,621 --> 00:16:05,149
the other two are gonna 
be really mad at me.

362
00:16:05,476 --> 00:16:06,080
Who cares?

363
00:16:06,145 --> 00:16:07,236
As long as you pick me!

364
00:16:08,861 --> 00:16:10,068
Okay Leonard, put down that box.

365
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,365
- Let's talk.
- Sorry Raj.

366
00:16:11,406 --> 00:16:12,594
My mind is made up

367
00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:13,963
No

368
00:16:14,289 --> 00:16:15,330
I can't let you do this

369
00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:18,232
Sheldon, get out of my way

370
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,584
None shall pass

371
00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:28,342
Okay

372
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,030
I did not want to do this

373
00:16:31,293 --> 00:16:34,404
but I have here the rare, 
mint condition, production error

374
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,700
Star Trek: The Next Generation 
Geordi La Forge

375
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,196
without his visor in 
the original packaging.

376
00:16:40,152 --> 00:16:41,372
If you do not get out of my way

377
00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:43,474
I will open it.

378
00:16:45,457 --> 00:16:46,322
Okay man,
be cool

379
00:16:48,029 --> 00:16:48,889
We're all friends here

380
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:52,137
What the hell is going on?

381
00:16:52,688 --> 00:16:54,352
You Hypocrit!

382
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:55,639
What?

383
00:16:55,677 --> 00:16:57,896
Little miss "Grown-ups-
don't-play-with-toys".

384
00:16:58,165 --> 00:16:59,791
If I went into that 
apartment right now

385
00:16:59,864 --> 00:17:01,518
would I not find beany babies?

386
00:17:01,743 --> 00:17:02,886
are you not an accumulator

387
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,662
of Care Bears and 
My Little Ponies?

388
00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:08,006
And who is that japanese feline 
I see frawn looking at your shorts?

389
00:17:08,271 --> 00:17:09,383
Hello, hello Kitty!

390
00:17:13,442 --> 00:17:14,279
Okay.

391
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:16,740
Okay,look this is about yesterday,
Leonard.

392
00:17:16,796 --> 00:17:18,772
I'm really sorry about what i said

393
00:17:18,832 --> 00:17:20,499
- I was jus upset
- No, i needed to heard it

394
00:17:20,588 --> 00:17:22,627
No, you didn't 
Look you're great guy

395
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,582
it's the things you love
that make who you are

396
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:28,253
I guess that makes me
"Large breasts"

397
00:17:33,213 --> 00:17:35,984
Still I think it's time for me
to get rid of this stuff

398
00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:38,376
and, you know
move on with my life.

399
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:39,479
Really?

400
00:17:40,139 --> 00:17:40,786
Oh

401
00:17:41,751 --> 00:17:44,047
Wow, good for you

402
00:17:45,508 --> 00:17:46,232
Thanks

403
00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:49,958
Hey, do you want...

404
00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:51,264
I don't know, later...

405
00:17:51,295 --> 00:17:52,159
Excuse me..

406
00:17:53,051 --> 00:17:54,503
Hi Penny
Hi Mike

407
00:17:54,584 --> 00:17:56,375
You're ready to go?
yeah, i just have to change

408
00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:57,485
I give you a hand

409
00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:58,598
Stop it!

410
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,102
Bye guys

411
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:06,700
My turn on the time machine!

412
00:18:30,227 --> 00:18:31,125
It worked

413
00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:33,955
It really worked

414
00:18:35,524 --> 00:18:38,523
They said i was mad,
but it worked!

415
00:18:45,437 --> 00:18:46,608
Oh no!

416
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,145
Not Morlocks!

417
00:18:48,609 --> 00:18:50,816
Not flash-eating Morlocks!

418
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:54,319
Help!

419
00:19:02,665 --> 00:19:03,492
Sheldon, you okay?

420
00:19:04,492 --> 00:19:05,877
We have to get rid 
of the time machine.

421
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:09,004
It's too little big for
the living room, isn't it?

422
00:19:10,164 --> 00:19:11,540
yeah, that's the problem.
It's too big.

423
00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:14,265
I'm glad you agreed

424
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,032
I hired some guys 
to help us move it.

425
00:19:16,052 --> 00:19:17,032
Come on in fellas

426
00:19:20,607 --> 00:19:22,895
Oh no, Morlocks!

427
00:19:23,146 --> 00:19:24,472
Eat him,
eat Him.

428
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,285
Leonard!

429
00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:34,486
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