1
00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:01,300
Oh, look, Saturn 3 is on.
2
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:02,630
I don't want to watch Saturn 3.
3
00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,030
Deep Space Nine is better.
4
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:07,800
How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?
5
00:00:07,860 --> 00:00:11,560
Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.
6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,460
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
7
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:19,530
In what sense is that a compromise?
8
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,230
Well, five is partway between three... Never mind.
9
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,360
I'll tell you what.
10
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:27,060
How about we go rock-paper-scissors?
11
00:00:27,130 --> 00:00:28,300
Ooh, I don't think so.
12
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,130
Anecdotal evidence suggests
13
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,730
that in the game of rock-paper-scissors,
14
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,100
players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time
15
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due to the limited number of outcomes.
16
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,900
I suggest rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock.
17
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:43,530
What?
18
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,330
It's very simple.
19
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,900
Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock.
20
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,260
Rock crushes lizard.
21
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,530
Lizard poisons Spock.
22
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,430
Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard.
23
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,960
Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock.
24
00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:57,700
Spock vaporizes rock.
25
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,860
And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
26
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,500
Okay, I think I got it.
27
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,500
Rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock!
28
00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,700
Oh!
29
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,930
Hello, boys.
30
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,830
Ahoy, matey.
31
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Noticed the eye patch, did you?
32
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:27,060
It's all part of a technique I've been studying
33
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,660
for picking up women.
34
00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,460
You employ a visual display (thud)
35
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designed to make yourself
36
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,300
distinctive and memorable.
37
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,930
Oh, yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage
38
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,530
or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters.
39
00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:45,360
Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.
40
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Mock me if you will, but it works.
41
00:01:48,130 --> 00:01:50,130
You show up at a club in something distinctive,
42
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,860
scope out your target and toss out some negs.
43
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:53,860
What are negs?
44
00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:55,330
A neg is a negative compliment
45
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,300
that throws a pretty woman off her game,
46
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,700
like "Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth,
47
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,530
but on you, they work."
48
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,660
I got a whole list of 'em. Who wants to be my wingman?
49
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,000
You're not gonna need wingman.
50
00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,860
You're gonna need a paramedic.
51
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,800
Howard, your scooter's blocking my car.
52
00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:16,700
Aw, did you get pinkeye again?
53
00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:20,660
Step one: she notices the eye patch.
54
00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:23,030
May I say, Penny,
55
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,000
not a lot of women could look as hot as you do
56
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,160
with such greasy hair?
57
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,130
Yeah, just move your stupid scooter
58
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,500
before I pick it up and throw it in the mpster.
59
00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:43,530
Ow.
60
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:48,330
* Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *
61
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,730
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *
62
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,400
* The Earth began to cool *
63
00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:55,730
* The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *
64
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,230
* We built the Wall * * We built the pyramids *
65
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:01,200
* Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *
66
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,260
* That all started with a big bang *
67
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,930
* Bang! *
68
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:14,600
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series
69
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:17,830
until I've seen The e Clone Wars movie.
70
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,660
I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me
71
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:22,330
in the order he intended.
72
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,200
Well, I want to watch it now.
73
00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:28,160
Then I believe we've arrived at another quintessential
74
00:03:28,230 --> 00:03:31,400
rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock moment.
75
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,730
Watch whatever you want.
76
00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:40,930
I saw what you did there.
77
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,460
What'd I do?
78
00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:47,460
(phone rings)
79
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:50,500
Hello. Hey, Howard.
80
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,730
What's wrong?
81
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:55,030
Okay. Okay, we'll be right there.
82
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:57,200
What happened?
83
00:03:57,260 --> 00:03:59,260
Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble.
84
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,330
Defcon 5.
85
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,800
Defcon 5?
86
00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:04,400
Well, there's no need to rush.
87
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,560
What?
88
00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,200
Defcon 5 means "no danger."
89
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,400
Defcon 1 is a crisis.
90
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,560
How can 5 not be worse than 1?
91
00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:15,300
Yeah, Star Trek V worse than I.
92
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,900
Okay, first of all, that's a comparison of quality,
93
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,260
not intensity.
94
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:21,730
Secondly, Star Trek I is orders-of-magnitude worse
95
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,430
than Star Trek V.
96
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,860
Are you joking? Star Trek V is the standard
97
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:27,900
against which all badness is measured.
98
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,060
No, no.
99
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,600
Star Trek V has specific failures
100
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:32,860
in writing and direction,
101
00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:34,530
while Star Trek I fails across the board:
102
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,330
art direction, costuming, music, sound editing.
103
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,660
Can we just forget I said Defcon and go?
104
00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:45,130
(scoffs): Star Trek V.
105
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,060
All right, will you at least stipulate
106
00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:51,130
that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is inarguably the best?
107
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,330
I have three words for you:
108
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,830
Wrath of Khan.
109
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,830
Oh, thank God, you're here.
110
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,060
What's the emergency?
111
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:01,330
I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch.
112
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,530
Where?
113
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,700
On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield.
114
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,600
Where do you think? On Mars!
115
00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:09,300
Howard, is everything okay?
116
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,800
Yeah, baby, I'll be right in.
117
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,960
You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room?
118
00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:18,300
Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor.
119
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,130
One free barium enema,
120
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,500
and my mother won't care she's not Jewish.
121
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,630
Wait a minute.
122
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,600
So the eye patch and e insults worked?
123
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,960
No, there were three other guys with eye patches.
124
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:30,260
It was a fiasco.
125
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,330
What did work was, "How'd you like to visit
126
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,760
a secret government facility?"
127
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,930
So what exactly do you want us to do?
128
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,160
I need you and Raj to help me get the Rover out of the ditch
129
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:41,460
and I need you to get Stephanie out
130
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:42,530
before somebody notices she's here.
131
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,100
She doesn't exactly have clearance.
132
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,830
Really? They don't let strange women from honky-tonks come in
133
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,060
and play with $200 million government projects
134
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,260
on distant planets?
135
00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:52,930
Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me.
136
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,460
Can we please move on?
137
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,660
Hey, Howard, you know, it's getting late,
138
00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:59,830
so do I get to drive this thing or what?
139
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,700
Yeah. No. I'm sorry, but something's come up.
140
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,700
Kind of a Mars Rover... Mars Rover
141
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:10,060
can Howard come over...
142
00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:11,930
situation.
143
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,600
So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home.
144
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,260
Oh, okay. Let's go, friend Leonard.
145
00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:20,230
Okay.
146
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,300
I'll call ya.
147
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,360
Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard?
148
00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:26,760
No one's a scientist like Howard.
149
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:29,930
My mother is so gonna love her.
150
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,600
How nice. Maybe they can carpool
151
00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:33,200
when they visit you in federal prison.
152
00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:43,130
I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you.
153
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,530
What, what, what were you saying?
154
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,130
Just said Howard's a terrific guy.
155
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:51,300
He's got a great sense of humor.
156
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,930
He loves his mother...
157
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,200
a lot.
158
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,960
People say "too much."
159
00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:58,860
I really like that you're such a loyal friend.
160
00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:00,660
Yeah, I am loyal.
161
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,460
You know, if you look at the big picture.
162
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,760
Out of curiosity,
163
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,500
did he ever have a shot with you?
164
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,500
Are you insane?
165
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,030
The guy was wearing an eye patch.
166
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,400
Then why did you...?
167
00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:19,900
He said that I cou drive a car on Mars.
168
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,030
Got it.
169
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,330
So, can I see you again?
170
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,730
You're not gonna see me now.
171
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:33,760
Cool.
172
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:37,460
(typing)
173
00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:39,830
Anything?
174
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,530
Actually, I was just checking my e-mail.
175
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,900
But, uh, no, the Rover is not responding.
176
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,900
I believe the appropriate metaphor here
177
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,430
involves a river of excrement
178
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,130
and a Native American water vessel
179
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,730
without any means of propulsion.
180
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:55,700
Hang on.
181
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,330
There's got to be other options.
182
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,830
You could try calling Triple-A.
183
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,830
But based on NASA's latest timetable,
184
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,800
they won't get there for 35 years.
185
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,800
Plus I understand you have to be standing
186
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:09,560
next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.
187
00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:11,800
Oh, snap.
188
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:14,100
Snap what?
189
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,500
Okay, I guess we have to turn to Plan B.
190
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,760
What's Plan B?
191
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,360
Erase all the hard drives, scrap the surveillance tapes,
192
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:22,160
wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run.
193
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,060
Why wasn'that Plan A?
194
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,800
REPORTER: A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data,
195
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:32,460
they will most likely be unable to determine the cause
196
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:34,560
of the Mars Rover's malfunction.
197
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:37,360
This is not the first time an exploratory mission to Mars
198
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:38,660
has ended in disappointment.
199
00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:41,900
Thank God for Plan B.
200
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,860
Howard, didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover?
201
00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:46,400
No, you're mistaken.
202
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:47,760
Yeah, when we first met,
203
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,260
you said that if I went out with you,
204
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,160
I could drive a car on Mars.
205
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,630
I don't know what you're talking about.
206
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,460
Psst! Psst!
207
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:00,960
Will you all excuse me?
208
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,260
Leonard is subtly signaling
209
00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:04,800
that he'd like to talk to me in private.
210
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:08,600
No. Yeah, I remember specifically.
211
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,530
You started by asking if I was from Mars
212
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,830
because my ass was out of this world.
213
00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:18,430
Well, that does sound like me, but no.
214
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:20,760
Is there some problem?
215
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:21,930
Yeah.
216
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,960
Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while.
217
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:26,530
All right, good-bye.
218
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,430
No, wait!
219
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,700
If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know.
220
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,700
Where are you going?
221
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,260
I can't tell you that.
222
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,760
Who would ask me?
223
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:40,000
I can't tell you that, either.
224
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,130
So you brought me in here to inform me
225
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,900
that you can't tell me where you're going
226
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,760
and you can't tell me who might ask?
227
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:51,030
Yeah, I really didn't think this through.
228
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,400
Leonard, a moment.
229
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,960
What?
230
00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:57,900
If someone-- and of course, we don't know who this would be--
231
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,060
does ask where you've gone, what should I say?
232
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:02,460
I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office.
233
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:04,400
Are you going to the office? No.
234
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,400
Then how can I say it convincingly?
235
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,760
Just say, "Leonard went totheoffice."
236
00:10:08,830 --> 00:10:13,160
All right. Leonard went to the office.
237
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:19,130
What is...? No, not like that!
238
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,560
Just, "Leonard went to the office."
239
00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:22,960
This would have worked out a lot better
240
00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:25,060
if you'd just told me you were going tthe office.
241
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,430
I'm going to the office.
242
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,230
See? Why don't I believe you?
243
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,860
(TV playing)
244
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,630
I'm going out for a while.
245
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,500
Okay.
246
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:49,760
Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going?
247
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:53,100
Okay, where is he going?
248
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,460
Leonard is going to the office.
249
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,300
So how was work today?
250
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,830
Busy.
251
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:14,430
I removed an appendix, a gall bladder
252
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,510
and about a foot and a half of bowel.
253
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:21,230
I'm hoping that's three different guys.
254
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,830
No, just the one.
255
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,000
He didn't make it.
256
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,730
So, how was your day?
257
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,600
Oh, you know, I'm a physicist, so...
258
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:35,130
I thought about stuff.
259
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,800
That's it?
260
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:39,400
Well, I wrote some of it down.
261
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,000
Are you done eating?
262
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:44,030
Uh, yeah. Oh, good.
263
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:48,830
If I knew you were waiting,
264
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,260
I would've swallowed that lasagna whole.
265
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:52,830
(phone ringing)
266
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,660
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
267
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:57,830
Leave a message. (beep)
268
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,330
WOLOWITZ: Hey, Steph,
269
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,360
it's me again, Howard.
270
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:01,900
Listen, if you're free Friday,
271
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,700
maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place.
272
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,100
My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.
273
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,930
Let me know.
274
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,430
It's Howard. (beep)
275
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:14,830
I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth.
276
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:22,860
Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom.
277
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:24,100
That's a good idea.
278
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,930
There's a bed in there, and I'm very...
279
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,960
very, very pro-bed.
280
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:29,860
(phone rging)
281
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,100
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
282
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,700
Leave a message. (beep)
283
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,800
WOLOWITZ: Hey, it's me again.
284
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:38,660
Just want to let you know
285
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:41,500
the head count for dinner Friday has gone up.
286
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:46,230
My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs.
287
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,930
Oh, and if anybody should ask,
288
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,800
you're half-Jewish on your mother's side.
289
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:53,000
Okay, call me.
290
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:55,530
It's Howard. (beep)
291
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,800
Don't you think we should tell him you're not interested?
292
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:02,700
Do you want me to stop and call him back right now?
293
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,260
Dear God, no!
294
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,160
(Stephanie laughing): Oh, Leonard...
295
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,860
(phone ringing)
296
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:14,100
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
297
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,000
Leave a message. (beep)
298
00:13:16,060 --> 00:13:19,430
WOLOWITZ: Hey, it's me again. Howard.
299
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,560
Listen, my cousins from Fort Lauderdale
300
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,400
are flying in to meet you
301
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,400
so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner
302
00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:28,500
to a restaurant.
303
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,000
WOMAN (shrieking): Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden!
304
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,360
I have a coupon from the paper.
305
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:40,660
WOLOWITZ: We're not going to the Olive Garden, Mom!
306
00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:44,660
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Oh, Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster.
307
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:49,560
WOLOWITZ: I'll call you back when we firm up the details.
308
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:52,100
It's Howard.
309
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:58,100
Oh, hey. Hey.
310
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,300
New shirts?
311
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,460
Yeah, a couple.
312
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:02,160
Nice. Thank you.
313
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,130
So, who's the girl?
314
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,300
I'm sorry?
315
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,230
Well, last time you bought a new shirt was when we were dating.
316
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:12,530
So what we did was in fact dating?
317
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,100
Well, yeah, we did have a date.
318
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,400
Exactly. Thank you.
319
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:22,830
Do me a favor. Tell Koothrappali that next time you see him.
320
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,100
So, who is she?
321
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,330
Oh, she's a doctor.
322
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,730
Oh, nice.
323
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,300
A doctor doctor, or a you kind of doctor?
324
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,400
Doctor doctor.
325
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:35,130
Surgical resident.
326
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,630
Smart, pretty.
327
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,300
Let me ask you something.
328
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,330
If your friend thinks he's dating someone,
329
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,260
but he's not because, in fact, you're dating her,
330
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,930
does that make you a bad person?
331
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,230
Well, that depends.
332
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,230
On what?
333
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,500
Is that friend Wolowitz?
334
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,860
Yeah.
335
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,360
Screw him. You're fine.
336
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,330
Are you sure?
337
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,660
Well, have you slept with her yet?
338
00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:08,330
You dog!
339
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,130
Good for you.
340
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,930
Does that change things?
341
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,200
No.
342
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,460
So why'd you ask?
343
00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:17,930
I'm nosy. See ya.
344
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,960
MRS. WOLOWITZ (shrieking): Howard, get the door!
345
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:30,200
WOLOWITZ (shouting): Really? Is that what you dohen someone knocks?!
346
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:33,630
Thank you. I had no idea!
347
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:38,760
Hey, buddy. What brings you to my little slice of hell?
348
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,730
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Who is it?!
349
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,400
It's Leonard!
350
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:45,460
MRS. WOLOWITZ: You're gonna have to play outside!
351
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:48,630
I'm not dressed to receive!
352
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:51,200
No one cares, Ma!
353
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:53,260
(softly): So, what's up?
354
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,100
Listen, I need to talk to you about something.
355
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,730
(ringtone playing "She Blinded Me with Science")
356
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,060
Momentito.
357
00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:02,030
Yello.
358
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,330
Oh, Stephanie,
359
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,800
thanks for calling me back. I was worried...
360
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,630
Oh...
361
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,530
Uh-huh.
362
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,660
Uh-huh.
363
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:18,000
Uh-huh...
364
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,060
No, I understand.
365
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,000
Sure, we can be friends. Absolutely.
366
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,030
Thanks for calling.
367
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,860
Yeah, you have a nice day, too.
368
00:16:27,430 --> 00:16:29,160
You are dead to me.
369
00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:37,360
Okay, who gets the extra dumpling?
370
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:44,630
ALL: Rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock.
371
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,530
Okay, one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock.
372
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,560
lizard-Spock.
373
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,200
(yelling)
374
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,900
Oh, hey, guys.
375
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,260
Hello. He
376
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:02,730
Hi, Howard.
377
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,560
Howard?
378
00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:07,960
Sheldon.
379
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:09,700
Howard is employing
380
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,060
a schoolyard paradigm in which you are,
381
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,530
for all intents and purposes, deceased.
382
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,660
He intends
383
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,560
to act on this by not speaking to you,
384
00:17:18,630 --> 00:17:21,100
feigning an inability to hear you when you speak
385
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,000
and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence.
386
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,360
That's just ridiculous.
387
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,000
Why are you cooperating with him?
388
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:30,000
I don't make the rules, Leonard.
389
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:33,660
Howard, come on. I didn't plan on this.
390
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,530
These things just happen.
391
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,230
Usually not to me, but they do happen.
392
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:42,230
Did someone just feel a cold breeze?
393
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,160
I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor.
394
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,000
The cold breeze is the so-called ectoplasmic issue
395
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:50,600
of a disembodied soul passing by.
396
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,630
You know, screw it. I'm just gonna eat the dumpling.
397
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,500
(knocking)
398
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,700
Hey. Oh, hi, Steph.
399
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,760
Come on in. Is this a bad time?
400
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,100
Yeah, but I don't see a better one on the horizon, so...
401
00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:10,130
Oh, if it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me.
402
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,730
Hello, Howard.
403
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,260
Sheldon?
404
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:15,560
I'm sorry, you violated the terms of your metaphor
405
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:18,200
by acknowledging her existence. I'm out.
406
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:20,800
He just won't listen to me.
407
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:23,660
Okay, I guess it'll just be the three of us then.
408
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:25,530
Lisa's gonna be disappointed. Yeah.
409
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,460
Lisa?
410
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:30,030
Yeah, my roommate.
411
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,860
She just went throh a really bad breakup
412
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,500
and I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you.
413
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,960
Leonard, Stephanie, you're alive!
414
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,560
So, anyway, Lisa, I just wanted to tell you again
415
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,560
how much I enjoyed the other night,
416
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:49,300
and again, I'm sorry for how it ended.
417
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:53,030
But again, if you could let me know about Friday.
418
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,730
My mother needs a head count
419
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,660
so she can know how big a brisket to get.
420
00:18:57,730 --> 00:18:59,930
Howard, Howard, look at this.
421
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,830
Anyway, call me.
422
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,960
The possibility of life on Mars has long fascinated scientists It's Howard.
423
00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,400
and laypersons alike.
424
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,530
It's unclear how the Mars Rover got into the crevice,
425
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,230
but one thing's certain:
426
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,030
The data which it has sent back contain
427
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,400
the first clear indications
428
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:16,700
that there may have been life on Mars.
429
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:19,330
It's a scientific discovery
430
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,460
that has staggering implications for all mankind.
431
00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:26,330
Unfortunately, we'll never know who's responsible.
432
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:34,360
Son of a bitch.
433
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
434
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
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