1 00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:02,380 Penny, hello. 2 00:00:03,190 --> 00:00:03,940 Hey, sheldon. 3 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:05,700 What is shaking? 4 00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:10,040 I'm sorry? 5 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,610 It's colloquial, a conversation opener. 6 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,090 So, do you find the weather satisfying? 7 00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,220 Are you currently sharing in the triumph 8 00:00:18,220 --> 00:00:19,730 of some local sports team? 9 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,360 What's wrong with you? you're freaking me out. 10 00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,720 I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. 11 00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:28,280 S'up? 12 00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:35,030 Please don't do that. 13 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:36,420 All right, 14 00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:37,741 But I'm given to understand that 15 00:00:37,741 --> 00:00:39,063 when you have something awkward to discuss with someone, 16 00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:42,140 it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat. 17 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,240 So, this wasn't the awkward part? 18 00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:49,700 No. 19 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,420 Oh, all right. 20 00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:55,970 S'up? 21 00:00:58,260 --> 00:00:59,760 Oh, good, I used that right. 22 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:01,414 Anyway, 23 00:01:01,414 --> 00:01:03,977 You're aware that leonard has entered into a new 24 00:01:03,977 --> 00:01:07,020 Romantic relationship which includes a sexual component? 25 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,540 Okay, feeling the awkward now. 26 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:15,107 Her name is 27 00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,962 dr.Stephanie barnett and she is a highly 28 00:01:16,962 --> 00:01:19,670 Distinguished surgical resident at freemont memorial. 29 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:21,090 Yeah, leonard told me. good. 30 00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:22,880 What he may have left out is 31 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,670 how important this relationship is to me. 32 00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:28,230 To you? 33 00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:31,257 Yes, see, of the handful of women leonard's been involved with, 34 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,650 She's the only one I have ever found tolerable. 35 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,790 Well, what about me? 36 00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:43,670 The statement stands for itself. 37 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:47,470 Well, aren't you sweet? 38 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,276 Anyway, should you have any interaction with her, 39 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,750 It would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival. 40 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,830 Yeah, I think she's pretty safe. 41 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,801 You say that now, but consider the following senario 42 00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,963 you're sitting in your apartment, 43 00:02:02,963 --> 00:02:04,640 It's late, you're alone. 44 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,294 Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and 45 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,313 Progesterone and suddenly even 46 00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:13,410 Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate. 47 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,160 Or a, uh, "hookup" 48 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,170 As it's referred to by today's urban youth. 49 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,370 Really? yes. 50 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:22,565 Now, should that happen, 51 00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:25,630 I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido. 52 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,920 I could think about you. 53 00:02:34,290 --> 00:02:35,810 Fine, whatever works. 54 00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:39,550 Always nice talking to you, sheldon. 55 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,510 Uh, peace out! 56 00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:19,570 Well, this is very pleasant. 57 00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,300 Glad you're enjoying yourself. 58 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,050 And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us. 59 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:28,800 I stand corrected. 60 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,640 You know, italian housewives have a rule of thumb. 61 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,647 A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter is 62 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:38,420 Sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked. 63 00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:41,000 That's very interesting. 64 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:41,670 Thank you. 65 00:03:41,670 --> 00:03:43,590 She doesn't mean it. she's just being nice. 66 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:46,839 Well, stephanie, 67 00:03:46,839 --> 00:03:50,188 Since leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, 68 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,440 I guess I'll just have to pick it up. 69 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:02,420 Have you ever witnessed a violent crime? 70 00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:07,140 No. good. 71 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:08,850 What's your favorite fruit? 72 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:11,620 Uh, strawberries. 73 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,750 Hmm, technically not a fruit, but all right. 74 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,120 Where did you do your medical internship? 75 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,440 Uh, lawrence memorial in galveston, texas. 76 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,650 Really? that's where I was born! 77 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,420 You're kidding! 78 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,990 I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. 79 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:32,150 When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter. 80 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,590 Why, w-w-what happened? 81 00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:35,800 Radiation burns. 82 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:39,430 A little mishap while I was building my own cat scanner. 83 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:43,260 I'm sorry, you tried to build your own cat scanner? 84 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:44,930 No, I didn't try, I succeeded. 85 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,190 In fact, I was briefly able to see 86 00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:48,631 the inside of my sister's guinea pig, 87 00:04:48,631 --> 00:04:50,010 Snowball, before he caught fire. 88 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,305 It led to an interesting 89 00:04:54,305 --> 00:04:56,450 "not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner." 90 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,200 Uh, sheldon? 91 00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:02,800 Excuse me. 92 00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:05,290 When I come back,just for fun, 93 00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,030 the subject will be alternative history. 94 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:07,638 Specifically, 95 00:05:07,638 --> 00:05:09,965 How would the civil war have gone differently 96 00:05:09,965 --> 00:05:12,550 If lincoln had been a robot sent from the future? 97 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,740 Look at that, there's even pasta left over. 98 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:24,210 Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date? 99 00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:24,459 I do. 100 00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:26,664 Do you? because frankly, 101 00:05:26,664 --> 00:05:28,870 you've been in a foul mood since I sat down. 102 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:36,360 Okay, here's my question. why did you sit down? 103 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,630 To help. 104 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,759 Look, if you fail at this relationship, 105 00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:42,888 and history suggests you will, 106 00:05:42,888 --> 00:05:45,354 Then we risk losing the medical officer 107 00:05:45,354 --> 00:05:48,010 That our landing party has always needed. 108 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,340 What landing party? 109 00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:56,727 You're kirk, I'm spock, wolowitz is scotty, 110 00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:59,250 Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed... 111 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:04,020 And now we've got mccoy. 112 00:06:12,150 --> 00:06:12,255 So, 113 00:06:12,255 --> 00:06:14,117 We're all standing around looking at the post-op x ray 114 00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:15,980 and there it is, 115 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:18,640 Clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity... 116 00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:20,540 One of my earrings. 117 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,540 Oh, my god, what did you do? 118 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:26,640 What do you think I did? 119 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,456 I discreetly slipped off the other earring, 120 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,920 Put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there! 121 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,870 I have a bone to pick with you, sir. 122 00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:37,470 Hi, sheldon. 123 00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:38,134 Hi, stephanie. 124 00:06:38,134 --> 00:06:39,077 I'm sorry I'm late, 125 00:06:39,077 --> 00:06:42,170 But yourompanion left the most indecipherable invitation. 126 00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,790 What invitation? 127 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,150 "we're going to the movies." 128 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:50,970 What movie? what theater? what time? 129 00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:55,101 If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, 130 00:06:55,101 --> 00:06:56,600 You couldn't have done a better job. 131 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,730 Oh, clearly I could have. 132 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,915 It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser 133 00:07:02,915 --> 00:07:05,470 History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up. 134 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:08,480 Wait here, I'll find us seats. 135 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,800 Uh, no, we have seats. 136 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,360 Not the right seats. 137 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:23,620 What is he doing? 138 00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:26,240 He's finding the acoustic sweet spot. 139 00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:31,950 Does he always do this? 140 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:34,960 Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone. 141 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,440 I am really sorry about this. 142 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,940 No, it's fine. you know, he's sweet. 143 00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:57,070 My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along. 144 00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,380 Leonard, you want to slide over one? 145 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,600 No, just sit here. 146 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,570 Oh, yeah, this is it. 147 00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:22,580 Leonard. 148 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,120 Leonard? leonard?! 149 00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:26,810 What, sheldon? 150 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,880 What, sheldon?! what, sheldon?! 151 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,510 Tell me what you see here. 152 00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:34,670 The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial? 153 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,800 This is stephanie's facebook page. 154 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,940 Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say? 155 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:42,760 "stephanie barnett is single." 156 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,693 Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening, 157 00:08:44,693 --> 00:08:47,220 She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike. 158 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,160 Who's mike?! 159 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,930 Why does he get a digital sheep and not you? 160 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,500 It's just her facebook page and we've 161 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:58,480 Only been going out a couple of weeks. 162 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,540 You don't see it, do you? 163 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,880 We're losing her. 164 00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:06,520 Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you. 165 00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:10,280 You are not in this relationship. 166 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:13,020 I am. 167 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,435 Ergo, you have no say in anything 168 00:09:16,435 --> 00:09:19,850 that happens between me and stephanie. 169 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:23,240 I'm afraid I can't allow that. 170 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,077 Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a, 171 00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:30,420 You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command. 172 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,250 General order 104, section a does not apply in this situation. 173 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,850 Give me one good reason why not. 174 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,530 Because this is not startrek 175 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,220 Penny? 176 00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,860 Penny? penny?! 177 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:52,950 What? 178 00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:55,140 This is banana bread. 179 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,250 This is a door knob. 180 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,836 It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can 181 00:10:04,836 --> 00:10:08,460 Be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat. 182 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:12,920 Sheldon, would you like to come in? 183 00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:15,040 I suppose I could spare a few minutes. 184 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,120 Were you robbed? 185 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,570 No. 186 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,950 How can you be sure? 187 00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:29,430 Sheldon, what do you want? 188 00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:32,034 I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, 189 00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:34,800 But leonard is failing in yet another relationship. 190 00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,520 He's having problems with stephanie? 191 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:39,980 She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet. 192 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,650 If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data. 193 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:44,255 Specifically, 194 00:10:44,255 --> 00:10:46,521 I need to know exactly what leonard did that 195 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,200 Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks. 196 00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:53,030 What? 197 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:54,790 Again, urban slang. 198 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,570 In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency. 199 00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:01,260 So, what is the "down" and the "low"? 200 00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,482 And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so, 201 00:11:03,482 --> 00:11:04,861 You feel free to include 202 00:11:04,861 --> 00:11:06,240 any and all shortcomings in the bedroom. 203 00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:09,920 We never got to the bedroom. 204 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,700 Because? 205 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,750 Oh, okay, all right, you know what? 206 00:11:17,270 --> 00:11:18,420 I'll tell you what happened. 207 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:22,636 We were young, we were very much in love, 208 00:11:22,636 --> 00:11:25,100 But we could only communicate through a 209 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,690 Time-traveling mailbox at my lake house. 210 00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:34,583 It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, 211 00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:35,810 But now you mock me with it? 212 00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:44,500 Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships. 213 00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:52,800 You told me you were going to have the talk with him. 214 00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:56,310 I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me. 215 00:11:57,610 --> 00:11:58,399 More to the point, 216 00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:01,460 It's about finding a way to keep leonard and stephanie together. 217 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,730 Oh, I don't think you can. 218 00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:03,960 Well, why not? 219 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,350 Look at leonard's record. 220 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,240 27 days with joyce kim. 221 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,250 During which she defected to north korea. 222 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,260 Two booty calls with leslie winkle. 223 00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:15,820 For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard." 224 00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,470 And the three hour dinner with penny. 225 00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:20,733 Which would have been two and a half if 226 00:12:20,733 --> 00:12:22,190 They ordered the souffle when they sat down. 227 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,415 Based on the geometric progression, 228 00:12:25,415 --> 00:12:26,942 His relationship with stephanie 229 00:12:26,942 --> 00:12:28,470 should have ended after 20 minutes. 230 00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:30,560 Yes, I'm aware of the math. 231 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,930 Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth. 232 00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:34,590 The issue remains. 233 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,190 How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection? 234 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:40,927 Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie, 235 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,740 Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet. 236 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,270 I'll tell you what you shouldn't do. 237 00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:49,085 Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the 238 00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:51,210 Commercial where the women undress when they smell it. 239 00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,230 That doesn't work at all. 240 00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:58,220 No matter how much you put on. 241 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:00,860 So, that's all you've got? 242 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,520 Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"? 243 00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,310 Yeah. yes. 244 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:11,090 Penny. 245 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:12,740 Penny? 246 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:14,230 What? 247 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,670 Penny? 248 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,720 Zucchini bread. 249 00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,200 Oh, thank you. 250 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:30,910 May I come in? 251 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:31,320 No. 252 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:33,560 I see. 253 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:34,612 Apparently, 254 00:13:34,612 --> 00:13:36,261 My earlier inquiry regarding 255 00:13:36,261 --> 00:13:37,910 you and leonard crossed some sort of line. 256 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,130 I apologize. 257 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,190 Well, thank you. 258 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,590 So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium? 259 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,030 Yes. great. 260 00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,030 New topic. 261 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:50,040 Where are you in your menstrual cycle? 262 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:54,260 What?! 263 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,290 I've been doing some research online, 264 00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,321 and apparently female primates, 265 00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,650 You know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you. 266 00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:03,898 They find their mate more desirable 267 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,800 When he's being courted by another female. 268 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,469 Now, This effect is intensified when the rival female 269 00:14:08,469 --> 00:14:11,350 Is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. 270 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,880 Which brings me back to my question. 271 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,540 Where are you in your-- 272 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,840 Clearly, I'm 14 days too early. 273 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:25,396 All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, 274 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:28,220 Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance? 275 00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,920 Leonard, you're going to have to let this go. 276 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,890 You had a little cheese dip, you farted. 277 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,170 I thought it was cute. 278 00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,280 Oh, hi, stephanie. 279 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,160 Wanna more wine? 280 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,940 Yeah, I'm not driving anywhere tonight. 281 00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:00,590 What are you doing? 282 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,711 I have a craving for white asparagus 283 00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:05,480 That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied. 284 00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:12,050 Excuse me. 285 00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:16,460 What the hell is wrong with you? 286 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:17,680 I'm helping you with stephanie. 287 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,750 By making constipated moose sounds? 288 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:23,580 When I fail to open this jar and you succeed, 289 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,710 It will establish you as the "alpha" male. 290 00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:26,450 You see... 291 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:29,791 When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, 292 00:15:29,791 --> 00:15:31,580 She produces the hormone oxytocin. 293 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,631 If the two of you then engage in intercourse, 294 00:15:33,631 --> 00:15:36,194 This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain 295 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,900 Which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love." 296 00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,140 Would it work if I just punched you in the face? 297 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,180 Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes. 298 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,110 I'm not strong enough, leonard, you'll have to do it. 299 00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,750 Oh, for god's sakes. 300 00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,130 Go ahead, it's pre-loosened. 301 00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:14,960 Do you want some help with that? 302 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,890 No, no, no, I got it. 303 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,380 No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising. 304 00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,208 This is something I long ago came to 305 00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,240 Peace with in my role as the beta male. 306 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,240 Open it. 307 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,900 - Oh, my god, are you okay? - no, I'm not. 308 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:39,840 I'm bleeding. 309 00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:41,260 Like a gladiator! 310 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,420 Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches. 311 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,120 Stitches? with a needle? 312 00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,470 Well, yeah, I mean, just a few. 313 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,010 Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec. 314 00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:05,220 Fyi, I was defrosting a steak in there. 315 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,860 What a beautiful job stephanie did. 316 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,055 I might have gone with a mattress suture 317 00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:15,371 instead of a blanket stitch, 318 00:17:15,371 --> 00:17:16,880 But you can't argue with her results. 319 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,440 It's a shame it won't scar. 320 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,770 The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity. 321 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,950 I can't remember a time when you weren't talking. 322 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,216 Just for the record, 323 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,209 My efforts to establish you as the alpha 324 00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:34,600 Male were not aided by you bursting into tears. 325 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,970 I did not burst into tears, my eyes just got a little watery. 326 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,080 Watery? 327 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,180 She stuck a needle into my hand! 328 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,600 Hey, how's my big cry baby? 329 00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,470 I didn't cry. 330 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,300 Okay, I'm just teasing you. 331 00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:52,900 But, yeah, you did. 332 00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:54,920 Okay, it's all good. 333 00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:56,830 What do you say we get you home and put you to bed? 334 00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,870 Oh, are you still going to spend the night? 335 00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:01,880 Uh, no, I think that you probably need to rest. 336 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,615 She's right. as long as you're vomiting, 337 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,350 coitus is contra-indicated. 338 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,090 Thank you, dr. cooper. 339 00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,510 You're welcome, dr. hofstadter. 340 00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:17,000 Okay, I'm going to go get your discharge papers. 341 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,530 What? 342 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:24,260 Well, you seem like a perfectly pleasant person. 343 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,350 I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you. 344 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:35,860 Hey, can you open this for me? 345 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,140 Can I see your stitches? 346 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:38,650 Sure. 347 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,735 Answering the question once and for all 348 00:18:46,735 --> 00:18:48,560 Why wolowitz bailed out of medical school. 349 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,840 Leonard, congratulations. 350 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:52,690 What for? 351 00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:54,670 Your facebook status update. 352 00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:57,920 Leonard hofstadter is "in a relationship." 353 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,150 What? no. no, that's not right. 354 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:03,930 Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did? 355 00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaking as an expert, way to look needy. 356 00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:10,440 Seriously? 357 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,070 You went first, after only two weeks? 358 00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:14,270 That's bold... 359 00:19:14,590 --> 00:19:16,450 It's not bold, it's a mistake. 360 00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,260 I didn't change my status. 361 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:19,750 Well, then who did? 362 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,290 I had no choice. he cried in front of her. 363 00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:31,590 You hacked my facebook account? 364 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:33,625 Oh, it's hardly hacking 365 00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,661 when you use the same password for everything, 366 00:19:35,661 --> 00:19:36,310 "kal-el." 367 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,110 Are you insane? 368 00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:41,050 Now she's going to think I'm desperate. 369 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:43,390 You've destroyed this relationship! 370 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,330 And you want to know what the worst part is? 371 00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:48,081 You don't even understand what you did wrong because you 372 00:19:48,081 --> 00:19:50,980 Can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in! 373 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,010 In which I am not an expert. 374 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:53,990 Don't even! 375 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,840 I don't want to hear another word out of you. 376 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,830 What's wrong, lassie? timmy fall down the well? 377 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,320 She just updated her facebook status. 378 00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,800 "stephanie barnett is in a relationship 379 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,790 with leonard hofstadter." 380 00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:20,230 Really? 381 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,150 Oh, look at that. 382 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:25,820 I have a girlfriend. 383 00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:29,435 If I am permitted to speak again, 384 00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:31,680 dr. sheldon cooper for the win.