1
00:00:01,718 --> 00:00:05,021
Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.
2
00:00:05,022 --> 00:00:06,556
Buona sera.
3
00:00:06,557 --> 00:00:09,442
It means good evening
in Italian.
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,112
May I say, having to explain
that to you calls into question
5
00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:15,325
the authenticity
of your ristorante?
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,617
Okay, I'm out of here.
7
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,268
Un momento.
8
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,736
Oh, for heaven's sake.
9
00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:22,772
Now you're being
deliberately stupid.
10
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,208
Where are you going?
11
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:26,709
I'm having dinner
with Priya at Raj's.
12
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,711
I think Howard's going to be
there. You want to join us?
13
00:00:28,712 --> 00:00:30,246
But tonight's Thursday.
14
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,048
On Thursdays, everybody
comes over here
15
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,482
and has pizza.
16
00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:34,951
Or a reasonable facsimile
17
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,153
prepared by someone claiming
to be Luigi,
18
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,889
but who sounds suspiciously
like Jackie Chan.
19
00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:43,092
Can't we make a one-time
exception for tonight?
20
00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:44,493
We could.
21
00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:46,812
We could also
stop using the letter "M,"
22
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,866
but I think that idea is
isguided and oronic.
23
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,468
Just come with me to Raj's.
24
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,854
Well, I don't want
to go to a party.
25
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,906
It's not a party.
It's the same group of people
26
00:00:56,907 --> 00:00:58,524
who hang out here
hanging out over there.
27
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,111
I'm sorry, but five people
eating and chatting is a party.
28
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:04,847
How come it's not a party
when we do it here?
29
00:01:04,848 --> 00:01:06,549
Because we don't
throw parties.
30
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,551
I don't know
what to tell you, Sheldon.
31
00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:10,369
I'm going to see Priya.
Everyone's over there.
32
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,487
You coming or not?
33
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,673
Well, no, sir,
and do you know why?
34
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,691
In a word: tradition.
35
00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:19,395
Every Thursday night
for the last eight years,
36
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:22,048
you and I and our friends
have gathered here
37
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:26,035
in this very spot to break bread
covered with cheese and sauce,
38
00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:28,170
discuss the issues
of the day,
39
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,439
and yes, share a laugh or two.
40
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:34,343
But I guess our rich heritage
means nothing to you.
41
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,544
I guess you're right.
42
00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:36,845
- See you later.
- Wait!
43
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,648
Leonard! Wait!
44
00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:40,549
What am I going
to do for dinner?
45
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,652
Come with me to Raj's
and eat there.
46
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:43,953
I can't do that.
47
00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:47,156
What if he serves haggis
and blood pudding?
48
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:50,993
I really doubt
that's what he'll serve.
49
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,561
But what if he does?
50
00:01:52,562 --> 00:01:53,862
I'll be obliged to dine
51
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,365
on liver and lungs stuffed
in a sheep's stomach.
52
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,135
And frankly, blood pudding is
essentially the same thing.
53
00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:01,337
I don't know why
he's serving both.
54
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,672
What do you want to do?
55
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,274
You want to come with me, or
do you want to sit here alone?
56
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,209
No, I'll go
to your haggis party.
57
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,928
But I'm telling you.
58
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:13,316
This is adness. This is utter
and complete adness.
59
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:16,936
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
60
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,272
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
61
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,907
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
62
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,443
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
63
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,129
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
64
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,765
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:31,701
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
66
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:32,681
♪ Bang! ♪
67
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,694
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x17 ♪
The Toast Derivation
Original Air Date on February 24, 2011
68
00:02:35,719 --> 00:02:38,019
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
69
00:02:38,026 --> 00:02:39,876
- Oh, dear!
- What?
70
00:02:39,932 --> 00:02:41,266
Raj's television.
71
00:02:41,267 --> 00:02:42,634
I just realized
72
00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:45,236
we're about to spend an evening
watching a plasma screen
73
00:02:45,237 --> 00:02:48,473
with a cluster of dead pixels
in the upper left-hand corner.
74
00:02:48,474 --> 00:02:50,024
So don't watch TV.
75
00:02:50,025 --> 00:02:51,276
Read a book.
76
00:02:51,277 --> 00:02:52,911
And be a social pariah?
77
00:02:52,912 --> 00:02:54,846
Oh, you know
that's not my style.
78
00:02:54,847 --> 00:02:57,315
Ugh!
79
00:02:59,185 --> 00:03:02,754
The audible sigh is a show
of exasperation, right?
80
00:03:02,755 --> 00:03:03,955
Right.
81
00:03:03,956 --> 00:03:06,825
Is it about me
or the dead pixels?
82
00:03:08,127 --> 00:03:09,661
Hey, you're
just in time.
83
00:03:09,662 --> 00:03:10,962
We made Tex-Mex.
84
00:03:10,963 --> 00:03:12,163
Oh, sounds great.
85
00:03:12,164 --> 00:03:14,165
Oh, Indians
making Tex-Mex.
86
00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:16,534
Might as well have had
the Chinese pizza.
87
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,370
Hey, you.
88
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:21,606
Hi.
89
00:03:21,607 --> 00:03:24,042
That's got to be fun
for you, huh?
90
00:03:25,444 --> 00:03:27,846
Watching Hofstadter
suck the saliva
91
00:03:27,847 --> 00:03:29,314
out of your sister's mouth?
92
00:03:30,549 --> 00:03:33,017
Excuse me. Before this evening
goes any further,
93
00:03:33,018 --> 00:03:36,187
we need to decide
where everyone is going to sit.
94
00:03:36,188 --> 00:03:38,222
There is no assigned seats,
Sheldon.
95
00:03:38,223 --> 00:03:40,058
Just sit anywhere.
Make yourself comfortable.
96
00:03:40,059 --> 00:03:41,492
Oh, what fun.
97
00:03:41,493 --> 00:03:44,529
We're like hippies at a love-in.
98
00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:46,831
Just sit here.
99
00:03:46,832 --> 00:03:49,400
Right on, man. Right on.
100
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:52,904
Oh, look.
101
00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:57,642
it's Harry Potter and 98%
of The Sorcerer's Stone.
102
00:03:57,643 --> 00:04:00,845
Okay, we've
got fajitas
103
00:04:00,846 --> 00:04:03,431
with all the fixins,
so you make your own.
104
00:04:03,432 --> 00:04:04,682
Wonderful.
105
00:04:04,683 --> 00:04:06,484
Dinner, some
assembly required.
106
00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:10,104
Do you want a margarita,
Sheldon?
107
00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:11,189
A margarita?!
108
00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:13,825
Where are we?!
What is happening?!
109
00:04:14,994 --> 00:04:17,528
Oh. Hey, Sheldon.
110
00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:18,563
What can I get you?
111
00:04:18,564 --> 00:04:20,798
Water. Neat.
112
00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:22,984
With a little umbrella.
113
00:04:22,985 --> 00:04:24,769
Where are all your friends?
114
00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:28,156
Sadly, Penny, this evening,
I am the Dark Knight,
115
00:04:28,157 --> 00:04:30,325
roaming these
mean streets alone.
116
00:04:30,326 --> 00:04:32,644
A windbreaker for my cape,
117
00:04:32,645 --> 00:04:36,714
and a stern expression
for my cowl.
118
00:04:37,516 --> 00:04:39,751
Okay.
119
00:04:39,752 --> 00:04:42,153
Excuse me?
120
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:44,822
Isn't this the point
where the world-weary barkeep
121
00:04:44,823 --> 00:04:46,925
absentmindedly
wipes down the bar
122
00:04:46,926 --> 00:04:49,661
and coaxes the woes
out of the troubled patron?
123
00:04:49,662 --> 00:04:53,348
Well, I was getting your
stupid umbrella, but all right.
124
00:04:53,349 --> 00:04:56,200
(clears throat)
125
00:04:56,201 --> 00:04:58,469
What's troubling you, buddy?
126
00:05:00,406 --> 00:05:03,741
I don't think your heart's
in it, but since you asked...
127
00:05:03,742 --> 00:05:07,045
Apparently, because
Leonard is dating Raj's sister,
128
00:05:07,046 --> 00:05:09,364
we're all forced
to hang out at his apartment.
129
00:05:09,365 --> 00:05:11,950
Oh, the horror.
130
00:05:11,951 --> 00:05:13,201
Indeed.
131
00:05:13,202 --> 00:05:15,553
Yeah, at one point,
Raj put on reggae music,
132
00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,588
and his sister
took off her shoes.
133
00:05:17,589 --> 00:05:20,224
It was like the last days
of Caligula.
134
00:05:22,561 --> 00:05:24,762
(cell phone chiming)
135
00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:26,965
Oh, I have to get this.
136
00:05:26,966 --> 00:05:28,766
Umbrella?
137
00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:31,302
Ugh!
138
00:05:31,303 --> 00:05:34,172
Wonder
what she's exasperated about.
139
00:05:34,173 --> 00:05:35,506
Hello?
140
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,442
Sheldon, are you all right?
141
00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:39,110
When last we spoke,
you were going to
142
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,646
take a taxi home from Raj's,
but according to Facebook,
143
00:05:41,647 --> 00:05:43,581
you just checked in
at the Cheesecake Factory.
144
00:05:43,582 --> 00:05:45,216
Yes, I was in a taxi,
145
00:05:45,217 --> 00:05:47,351
but the driver
didn't look at all
146
00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:48,953
like the photograph
on his license,
147
00:05:48,954 --> 00:05:51,589
so I leapt out and ran for it.
148
00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:52,991
Wise.
149
00:05:52,992 --> 00:05:54,876
There you go.
150
00:05:54,877 --> 00:05:57,295
Just like recovering alcoholics
drink in the Caribbean.
151
00:05:57,296 --> 00:05:59,213
AMY:
Hi, bestie.
152
00:05:59,214 --> 00:06:00,798
Oh. Hi, Amy.
153
00:06:00,799 --> 00:06:02,100
How you been?
154
00:06:02,101 --> 00:06:03,701
Fine.
155
00:06:03,702 --> 00:06:06,571
From this angle,
I can see up your nose.
156
00:06:06,572 --> 00:06:09,273
Yeah, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?
157
00:06:09,274 --> 00:06:10,975
Don't worry.
My problems can wait
158
00:06:10,976 --> 00:06:13,444
while you two hens
finish your clucking.
159
00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:16,147
Look, Sheldon, Leonard
is dating Priya.
160
00:06:16,148 --> 00:06:17,682
She is staying with Raj.
161
00:06:17,683 --> 00:06:20,551
That means you're all probably
gonna be hanging out there more.
162
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:23,554
Penny, I'm sorry
you got dragged into this.
163
00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:24,756
I know you're devastated
164
00:06:24,757 --> 00:06:27,091
that your ex-boyfriend
has found an exciting new lover
165
00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:29,193
with flawless,
caramel-colored skin.
166
00:06:29,194 --> 00:06:32,430
Okay, I'm not upset
about Leonard and Priya.
167
00:06:32,431 --> 00:06:35,166
Your flaring nostrils
indicate otherwise.
168
00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:37,902
Cluck-cluck-cluck.
169
00:06:39,304 --> 00:06:40,571
Sheldon, look at me.
170
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:41,906
I think it's time
171
00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:43,107
to face the fact
172
00:06:43,108 --> 00:06:45,410
that Leonard is the nucleus
of your social group.
173
00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:46,911
Where he goes, the group goes.
174
00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:48,446
Leonard the nucleus?
175
00:06:48,447 --> 00:06:50,247
That makes no sense.
176
00:06:50,248 --> 00:06:51,582
I'm the whimsical elf
177
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,751
that everyone looks to
for a good time.
178
00:06:55,421 --> 00:06:56,821
I'm not saying
that you're not fun.
179
00:06:56,822 --> 00:06:59,824
You're the most fun person
I know.
180
00:07:01,026 --> 00:07:03,728
A lot of people think
I'm fun to be around.
181
00:07:03,729 --> 00:07:05,663
Don't be needy, bestie.
182
00:07:05,664 --> 00:07:08,332
That's probably part
of what chased Leonard away.
183
00:07:09,802 --> 00:07:11,869
What I am saying, Sheldon,
184
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:13,538
is that your group
is Leonard-centric.
185
00:07:13,539 --> 00:07:16,140
If it were a town,
it would be Leonardville.
186
00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:19,077
If it were an Islamic nation,
Leonardstan.
187
00:07:19,078 --> 00:07:21,479
If it were the birthplace
of motion pictures,
188
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,681
we'd all be singing
"Hooray for Leonardwood."
189
00:07:23,682 --> 00:07:25,316
Ooh, I got one.
190
00:07:25,317 --> 00:07:26,851
If you guys were a band,
191
00:07:26,852 --> 00:07:29,520
you'd be called Leonard
and the Leonards.
192
00:07:30,689 --> 00:07:33,257
So needy.
193
00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:37,712
What you doing?
194
00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:40,515
I'm setting out snacks.
195
00:07:40,516 --> 00:07:42,967
You do realize everyone's eating
at Raj's again tonight.
196
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:47,705
I didn't say the snacks were
for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie?
197
00:07:51,076 --> 00:07:53,344
You're having people over?
198
00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:55,680
Yes. Must be killing you
wondering who.
199
00:07:55,681 --> 00:07:57,148
Fine, I'll tell you.
200
00:07:58,550 --> 00:07:59,917
Stuart from the
comic bookstore,
201
00:07:59,918 --> 00:08:01,419
Barry Kripke from
the university,
202
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,621
Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack
203
00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:05,756
and TV's LeVar Burton.
204
00:08:07,192 --> 00:08:08,926
Really?
205
00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:10,695
LeVar Burton's coming here?
206
00:08:10,696 --> 00:08:13,231
Possibly. I Tweeted him.
207
00:08:14,332 --> 00:08:17,168
Okay, well, tell him
I loved him on Star Trek.
208
00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:20,605
Please, Leonard, stop trying
to horn in on my new friends.
209
00:08:20,606 --> 00:08:23,141
Of course. Good night.
210
00:08:23,142 --> 00:08:25,560
Leonard.
Yeah?
211
00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:28,045
We had a good run, you and I.
212
00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:32,683
Okay.
213
00:08:33,485 --> 00:08:35,553
But change is a part of life.
214
00:08:35,554 --> 00:08:37,455
It certainly is.
215
00:08:37,456 --> 00:08:39,423
Okay.
216
00:08:40,359 --> 00:08:42,126
I have guests coming.
217
00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:45,496
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask you to leave now.
218
00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:48,332
I am leaving.
219
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,835
Don't make this harder
than it is, Leonard.
220
00:08:50,836 --> 00:08:52,703
Good-bye, Sheldon.
221
00:08:52,704 --> 00:08:54,505
And good-bye to you, sir.
222
00:09:00,779 --> 00:09:02,313
He'll be back.
223
00:09:02,314 --> 00:09:03,898
LEONARD:
Of course I'll be back.
224
00:09:03,899 --> 00:09:06,083
I live here!
225
00:09:21,257 --> 00:09:22,592
Well, it would appear
226
00:09:22,593 --> 00:09:24,894
LeVar Burton
won't be joining us.
227
00:09:24,895 --> 00:09:27,163
Let's get started.
228
00:09:27,164 --> 00:09:29,532
I thought we'd begin
by going around the room,
229
00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:30,800
introducing ourselves
230
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:33,236
and saying a little bit
about why we're here.
231
00:09:33,237 --> 00:09:34,937
Okay. (clears throat)
I'm Sheldon.
232
00:09:34,938 --> 00:09:36,172
Uh, for regular readers
233
00:09:36,173 --> 00:09:38,674
of The New England Journal
of High Energy Physics,
234
00:09:38,675 --> 00:09:40,142
I need no introduction.
235
00:09:40,143 --> 00:09:41,544
If you're not familiar
236
00:09:41,545 --> 00:09:42,828
with that publication,
237
00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:45,481
there's a free copy
in your goody bag.
238
00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:49,368
Stuart?
239
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,488
Um... (clears throat) Hi.
240
00:09:52,489 --> 00:09:53,756
I'm Stuart.
241
00:09:53,757 --> 00:09:55,558
I run a comic bookstore,
242
00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:59,528
which for financial reasons,
I'm currently living in.
243
00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:01,297
And I guess
244
00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:04,767
what I'm hoping for most out
of tonight is a hot shower.
245
00:10:04,768 --> 00:10:06,636
It's very
nice, Stuart.
246
00:10:06,637 --> 00:10:08,387
Zack?
247
00:10:08,388 --> 00:10:10,506
I'm Zack, and I'm, uh...
248
00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:13,809
Uh...
249
00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:17,113
Could you come back to me?
250
00:10:17,114 --> 00:10:18,731
Of course.
251
00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:20,716
Barry?
252
00:10:20,717 --> 00:10:21,884
I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here
253
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:24,453
because you told me
there was going to be a whaffle.
254
00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:28,090
When is the whaffle?
255
00:10:28,091 --> 00:10:29,558
Patience, patience, Barry.
256
00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:30,743
The whaffle... (clears throat)
257
00:10:30,744 --> 00:10:33,996
The raffle is the grand finale
258
00:10:33,997 --> 00:10:37,700
to an evening-long festival
of fun and folly.
259
00:10:37,701 --> 00:10:39,802
- One more question...
- Yes, you must be present to win.
260
00:10:39,803 --> 00:10:42,405
(grunts)
261
00:10:42,406 --> 00:10:43,639
Okay, I'm ready.
262
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,508
I'm Zach, and I'm, uh...
263
00:10:45,509 --> 00:10:47,977
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?
264
00:10:51,848 --> 00:10:53,349
Oh, hey.
265
00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:55,985
Hi.
Yo, P-dog.
266
00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:57,103
What's up?
267
00:10:57,104 --> 00:10:58,387
We're here to kidnap you
268
00:10:58,388 --> 00:10:59,956
for a girls' night out.
269
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:03,609
Parenthetical: the term "kidnap"
is being used playfully.
270
00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,828
I kind of figured that.
271
00:11:05,829 --> 00:11:08,564
Good. Now put this pillowcase
over your head.
272
00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:10,666
No.
273
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,501
She used to be much more fun,
274
00:11:12,502 --> 00:11:15,604
until Leonard punched her
in the heart.
275
00:11:16,707 --> 00:11:18,441
We just thought you
might want to go out
276
00:11:18,442 --> 00:11:20,576
and have a good time,
maybe go dancing.
277
00:11:20,577 --> 00:11:23,112
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm
not really in the mood.
278
00:11:23,113 --> 00:11:25,181
You do understand
that it will distract you
279
00:11:25,182 --> 00:11:26,983
from obsessing
over the rich variety
280
00:11:26,984 --> 00:11:28,384
of sweet loving
that your ex-boyfriend
281
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:31,454
is currently receiving
from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
282
00:11:31,455 --> 00:11:33,923
Okay, look,
283
00:11:33,924 --> 00:11:35,391
if I agree to go out
with you guys,
284
00:11:35,392 --> 00:11:37,093
will you promise
to stop pestering me
285
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:38,127
about Leonard and Priya?
286
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:39,829
Yes.
Sure.
287
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,430
All right. I'll go change.
Come on in.
288
00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,983
If you'd have let me
bring the chloroform,
289
00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:46,602
we wouldn't have had to put up
with all this jibber-jabber.
290
00:11:49,706 --> 00:11:51,707
Anyway, after we
get done snowboarding,
291
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:53,826
I go back to the lodge
and get in the Jacuzzi.
292
00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:56,946
There's no one around, so
naturally, I'm free-balling it.
293
00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:58,947
Next thing I know,
294
00:11:58,948 --> 00:12:00,949
this beautiful chick shows up,
295
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:03,219
drunk out of her skull,
wants to get in with me.
296
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,420
Question.
297
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:07,790
Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
298
00:12:07,791 --> 00:12:10,993
Really? That's
your question?
299
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:11,961
What's the difference?
300
00:12:11,962 --> 00:12:14,230
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand.
301
00:12:14,231 --> 00:12:16,098
"Hot tub" is the generic term.
302
00:12:16,099 --> 00:12:17,299
I.E., all Jacuzzis
303
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,401
are hot tubs,
304
00:12:18,402 --> 00:12:20,903
but not all
hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
305
00:12:20,904 --> 00:12:23,839
Is that like
all thumbs are fingers,
306
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,941
but not all fingers are thumbs?
307
00:12:25,942 --> 00:12:28,911
Surprisingly, yes.
308
00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:31,247
Nice.
309
00:12:31,248 --> 00:12:34,250
Now, what exactly are toes?
310
00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:38,320
Can you please get back
to the drunk girl?
311
00:12:38,321 --> 00:12:40,923
I'd like something to think
about in the shower.
312
00:12:40,924 --> 00:12:42,158
Oh, yeah.
313
00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:44,427
Right. Anyway, she takes off
all of her clothes,
314
00:12:44,428 --> 00:12:46,829
climbs into the hot tub,
and the first thing I notice...
315
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:49,165
The water level rose.
316
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:51,734
No.
317
00:12:51,735 --> 00:12:52,885
Of course it did.
318
00:12:52,886 --> 00:12:54,136
It's said that Archimedes,
319
00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:55,521
the ancient Greek mathematician,
320
00:12:55,522 --> 00:12:57,673
discovered the principle
of displacement
321
00:12:57,674 --> 00:12:59,542
while taking a bath.
322
00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:01,610
Terrific.
Go ahead, Zack.
323
00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:04,180
Naked drunk girl,
free-balling, continue.
324
00:13:04,181 --> 00:13:06,482
Forgive me,
but I think you'll find
325
00:13:06,483 --> 00:13:08,016
my story is
more interesting.
326
00:13:08,017 --> 00:13:10,586
Does yours
have wet breasts in it?
327
00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:12,388
Better.
328
00:13:12,389 --> 00:13:14,023
It has a gold crown.
329
00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:15,257
You see, the king
330
00:13:15,258 --> 00:13:17,025
wondered how much gold was in it
331
00:13:17,026 --> 00:13:19,495
and charged Archimedes with
coming up with the solution.
332
00:13:19,496 --> 00:13:21,697
Because the crown was
irregularly shaped,
333
00:13:21,698 --> 00:13:22,915
there was no way
to mathematically
334
00:13:22,916 --> 00:13:23,966
determine its volume.
335
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:27,086
But, while bathing,
Archimedes realized
336
00:13:27,087 --> 00:13:28,454
he could immerse the crown
337
00:13:28,455 --> 00:13:32,174
and measure the amount
the water rose.
338
00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:37,213
So, long story short,
I nailed her.
339
00:13:41,935 --> 00:13:44,386
When he finished,
he shouted "Eureka!"
340
00:13:44,387 --> 00:13:46,388
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!"
341
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:50,593
Don't know why.
Just do.
342
00:13:52,579 --> 00:13:53,913
All right, that concludes
343
00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:56,231
the "getting to know you"
portion of the evening.
344
00:13:56,232 --> 00:13:59,118
Who's ready to play some
vintage video games?
345
00:13:59,119 --> 00:14:00,903
And tonight's selections include
346
00:14:00,904 --> 00:14:04,423
ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue
in Gargamel's Castle,"
347
00:14:04,424 --> 00:14:06,592
Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch,"
348
00:14:06,593 --> 00:14:09,411
and for you
text adventure aficionados,
349
00:14:09,412 --> 00:14:11,814
"Zork."
350
00:14:11,815 --> 00:14:15,718
(in high voice):
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.
351
00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:20,639
That all sucks
the big hairy meatball.
352
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:21,690
How about I go get
353
00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:23,359
the karaoke machine
out of my car,
354
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,195
get plastered and blow
the roof off this place?
355
00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:27,530
Great, I'll make a beer run.
356
00:14:27,531 --> 00:14:29,165
And I'll take a shower.
357
00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:30,432
We'll meet back here in 15.
358
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:32,101
Check.
359
00:14:32,102 --> 00:14:34,970
(door closes)
360
00:14:36,289 --> 00:14:38,574
I'm unhappy.
361
00:14:39,743 --> 00:14:41,377
This is delicious.
362
00:14:41,378 --> 00:14:42,628
Where'd you learn
to make chili?
363
00:14:42,629 --> 00:14:44,813
When I was at
university in England,
364
00:14:44,814 --> 00:14:46,315
my flatmate was
from Texas.
365
00:14:46,316 --> 00:14:49,952
I hope she wasn't anything
like my flatmate from Texas.
366
00:14:49,953 --> 00:14:52,454
Sheldon is a bit
quirky, isn't he?
367
00:14:52,455 --> 00:14:54,523
Oh, please.
That crazy bastard's looking
368
00:14:54,524 --> 00:14:57,660
at quirky
in the rearview mirror.
369
00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,830
Did you know that,
per our roommate agreement,
370
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:04,400
I have to wash my feet
before I get in the shower?
371
00:15:04,401 --> 00:15:05,434
And not in the sink.
372
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:07,937
We each have special buckets.
373
00:15:08,738 --> 00:15:09,972
Raj, did you ever
tell your sister
374
00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:12,241
about the time Sheldon
got punched by Bill Gates?
375
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:14,410
- Oh, God, you're kidding.
- Nope.
376
00:15:14,411 --> 00:15:16,145
Gates gave a speech
at the university.
377
00:15:16,146 --> 00:15:17,780
Sheldon went up to him
afterwards and said,
378
00:15:17,781 --> 00:15:19,481
"Maybe if you weren't
so distracted
379
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:20,950
by sick children in Africa,
380
00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:23,886
you could have put a little more
thought into Windows Vista."
381
00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:26,522
(all laughing)
382
00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:28,657
Bam. Right in the nose.
383
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:32,094
Made me proud to own a PC.
384
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,163
I'd like to propose a toast
385
00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,765
to a rare and wonderful
Sheldon-free evening.
386
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:40,202
Hear, hear.
Cheers.
387
00:15:40,203 --> 00:15:42,037
You realize that's the first
time we've ever done that
388
00:15:42,038 --> 00:15:43,856
without having
to listen to Sheldon tell us
389
00:15:43,857 --> 00:15:45,641
why it's called a toast?
390
00:15:45,642 --> 00:15:47,843
Why is it
called a toast?
391
00:15:47,844 --> 00:15:49,111
Oh, the ancient Romans
392
00:15:49,112 --> 00:15:51,213
put spiced toast
in their punch bowls.
393
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:56,352
Sheldon tells it better.
394
00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:58,087
He kind of does.
395
00:15:58,088 --> 00:15:59,321
Yeah.
396
00:16:01,057 --> 00:16:03,993
Aw, hell, I miss him.
397
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,897
So, where do you guys
want to go dancing?
398
00:16:08,898 --> 00:16:10,666
We were hoping
you'd know a place.
399
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:13,035
Yes, perhaps somewhere
packed tightly
400
00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:14,336
with young, beautiful bodies
401
00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:16,005
sweating and writhing
against each other
402
00:16:16,006 --> 00:16:17,606
in a glorious orgy
of the flesh.
403
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:20,676
Oh, yeah, I know that place.
404
00:16:22,445 --> 00:16:23,612
What do you think?
405
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:25,247
That should display enough
of your bosom
406
00:16:25,248 --> 00:16:28,317
to attract a new mate,
or a hungry infant.
407
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:31,587
Okay, let's go
through this one more time.
408
00:16:31,588 --> 00:16:33,322
Just because
Leonard has a new girlfriend
409
00:16:33,323 --> 00:16:35,874
does not mean I need to go out
and hook up with some guy.
410
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,559
But you could
if you wanted to, right?
411
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,194
Well, yeah, I guess.
412
00:16:39,195 --> 00:16:41,263
Pick out the hottest guy
in the room,
413
00:16:41,264 --> 00:16:43,699
take him home,
do unspeakable things to him,
414
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,834
then kick him to the curb
with a smile on his face
415
00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:48,537
and teeth marks on his heinie?
416
00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:51,390
More or less.
417
00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:54,543
What's that like?
418
00:16:54,544 --> 00:16:56,145
I don't know.
419
00:16:56,146 --> 00:16:57,513
It's fun while
you're doing it.
420
00:16:57,514 --> 00:16:59,682
And then after,
it's mostly embarrassment,
421
00:16:59,683 --> 00:17:02,084
self-loathing
and regret.
422
00:17:02,085 --> 00:17:06,455
I would take that deal
all day long.
423
00:17:06,456 --> 00:17:08,891
Yeah, well, it's not
gonna happen tonight.
424
00:17:08,892 --> 00:17:10,326
You know, for the
first time in my life,
425
00:17:10,327 --> 00:17:12,161
I am not
in a relationship,
426
00:17:12,162 --> 00:17:13,595
and I'm totally
okay with it.
427
00:17:13,596 --> 00:17:16,031
You know, if being on
your own is new to you,
428
00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:18,634
I'd be happy to share some
tension-relieving techniques
429
00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:22,504
for ladies I've perfected
over the years.
430
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:25,441
For example, do you have
an electric toothbrush?
431
00:17:25,442 --> 00:17:28,410
PENNY:
Um, no.
432
00:17:28,411 --> 00:17:31,046
You should get one.
433
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:33,082
What's that?
434
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,584
It appears
to be something preserved
435
00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:37,636
between two pieces of acrylic.
436
00:17:37,637 --> 00:17:39,621
Oh, it's a snowflake
from the North Pole.
437
00:17:39,622 --> 00:17:41,123
Leonard gave it
to me last year.
438
00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:43,792
Oh, God, that is so romantic.
439
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,894
Yeah, it was.
440
00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:48,297
Leonard's really one of a kind.
441
00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:50,232
Saying that
while holding a snowflake
442
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,301
is a bit heavy-handed,
don't you think?
443
00:17:52,302 --> 00:17:54,653
Let me see that.
444
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,657
Oh, screw it.
445
00:17:58,658 --> 00:18:00,175
I can deal with
a little self-loathing.
446
00:18:00,176 --> 00:18:02,611
Let's go find me
a heinie to bite.
447
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,246
Outstanding.
448
00:18:04,247 --> 00:18:06,582
And if we fail,
we can always stop at CVS
449
00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:09,718
and pick you out
a nice toothbrush.
450
00:18:09,719 --> 00:18:13,038
I call mine "Gerard."
451
00:18:15,158 --> 00:18:18,127
That's kind of creepy.
452
00:18:19,212 --> 00:18:22,798
♪ Don't go breaking
my heart ♪
453
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:24,666
♪ I couldn't
if I tried ♪
454
00:18:26,436 --> 00:18:29,855
♪ Oh, honey,
if I get restless ♪
455
00:18:29,856 --> 00:18:32,808
♪ Baby, you're
not that kind ♪
456
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:38,313
♪ Don't go
breaking my heart ♪
457
00:18:38,314 --> 00:18:41,183
Anybody do "Walking
on Sunshine" yet?
458
00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,520
No.
459
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:46,221
Dibs.
460
00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,427
I'm sorry, Sheldon
bought a loom
461
00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:53,629
and learned
how to weave?
462
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,063
He actually
got pretty good.
463
00:18:55,064 --> 00:18:57,566
He made us
all matching serapes.
464
00:18:57,567 --> 00:19:00,702
I still wear mine
when there's a nip in the air.
465
00:19:00,703 --> 00:19:02,738
Now, was this before
466
00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:04,840
or after he adopted
the 25 cats?
467
00:19:04,841 --> 00:19:06,742
Long before the cats.
468
00:19:06,743 --> 00:19:08,243
I think it was
around the time he tried
469
00:19:08,244 --> 00:19:11,380
to declare our apartment
a sovereign nation.
470
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:13,749
I still have some
of the currency.
471
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:14,917
(knocking at door)
472
00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:16,485
SHELDON:
All my friends.
473
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:17,653
All my friends.
474
00:19:17,654 --> 00:19:21,290
All my friends.
475
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,892
I think it's like Beetlejuice.
476
00:19:23,893 --> 00:19:26,528
We said his name too many times.
477
00:19:28,564 --> 00:19:30,699
Come on in.
Thank you.
478
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,101
Hey. I thought you were
with your new buddies.
479
00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:34,503
I had to leave.
480
00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:36,805
They were having fun wrong.
481
00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:39,241
Come here, Sheldon.
Sit here with me.
482
00:19:39,242 --> 00:19:40,425
Thank you.
483
00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:43,512
Would you like some
homemade chili?
484
00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,380
Are there beans in it?
485
00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:47,416
Yes.
486
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:48,584
Then it's not chili.
487
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:50,285
Real chili has no beans in it,
488
00:19:50,286 --> 00:19:52,154
but you're
from a foreign land,
489
00:19:52,155 --> 00:19:54,890
so your ignorance
is forgiven.
490
00:19:54,891 --> 00:19:57,926
Sheldon, do you want some
or not?
491
00:19:57,927 --> 00:20:00,479
Yes, please.
492
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,399
Your girlfriend's a
little short-tempered.
493
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,869
I'd like
to propose a toast
494
00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:09,238
to friends,
no matter how quirky.
495
00:20:09,239 --> 00:20:11,773
ALL:
Cheers.
496
00:20:11,774 --> 00:20:15,744
Priya, do you know
why this is called a toast?
497
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,412
Actually, I do.
498
00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:19,581
I believe the Romans
used to put spiced toast
499
00:20:19,582 --> 00:20:21,617
in their punch bowls.
500
00:20:21,618 --> 00:20:24,920
She's also a bit
of a know-it-all.
501
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:29,057
Mmm. This is good.
502
00:20:29,058 --> 00:20:30,926
Whatever it is.
503
00:20:38,124 --> 00:20:40,659
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
504
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,360
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
505
00:20:42,361 --> 00:20:44,596
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
506
00:20:44,597 --> 00:20:45,964
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
507
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:47,132
Hello? I...
508
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:48,700
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
509
00:20:48,701 --> 00:20:51,036
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
510
00:20:51,037 --> 00:20:53,338
Oh, I don't think so.
511
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:57,215
I am so done with Twitter.
512
00:20:57,216 --> 00:21:00,651
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==