1
00:00:00,847 --> 00:00:02,631
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...

2
00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:05,738
We now pronounce you
husband and wife!

3
00:00:08,937 --> 00:00:11,189
I love this part!

4
00:00:11,191 --> 00:00:12,774
Me, too!

5
00:00:12,776 --> 00:00:16,244
I have strongly mixed feelings!

6
00:00:18,013 --> 00:00:20,998
So, Howard's really
in space, huh?

7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,900
Mm-hmm, International
Space Station.

8
00:00:22,902 --> 00:00:25,002
250 miles that way.

9
00:00:25,004 --> 00:00:27,789
Right now, Howard's
staring down at our planet

10
00:00:27,791 --> 00:00:31,342
like a tiny Jewish Greek god.

11
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:34,412
Zeusowitz.

12
00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:35,697
I must admit,

13
00:00:35,699 --> 00:00:38,249
I can't help
but feel a twinge of envy.

14
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He can look out the window and
see the majesty of the universe

15
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unfolding before his eyes.

16
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His dim, uncomprehending eyes.

17
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It's like a cat
in an airport carrying case.

18
00:00:53,867 --> 00:00:56,951
You know, it's not exactly
glamorous up there.

19
00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:58,986
The water that
the astronauts drink

20
00:00:58,988 --> 00:01:01,539
is made from each other's
recycled urine.

21
00:01:02,791 --> 00:01:04,225
Must be nice.

22
00:01:04,227 --> 00:01:07,128
Nobody wants anything
that comes out of me.

23
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I wonder what he's
doing right this very second.

24
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Mm, conducting experiments
in zero gravity.

25
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Peering through his telescope
at the birth of the cosmos.

26
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Whatever it is, we know his
life will never be the same.

27
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Howard! Can you hear me?!

28
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I can hear you
without the phone!

29
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Don't be snippy.

30
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I'm just excited to talk
to my baby!

31
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I'm excited to talk to you, too.

32
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So, what's this mishegas
about you moving out

33
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to go live with
the little Polish girl?!

34
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How about calling her my wife?

35
00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,670
Wives don't take boys
from their mothers.

36
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They do.
That's why we marry them!

37
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I just hope I'm not dead
from a broken heart

38
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before you get back.

39
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Ma, please. Everyone from NASA
is listening to this phone call.

40
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Good. They should know
what a horrible son you are!

41
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Okay, Ma, great talking to you!
Gotta go!

42
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Well... space is ruined.

43
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

44
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

45
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

46
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♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

47
00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:32,146
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

48
00:02:32,148 --> 00:02:34,832
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

49
00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,751
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

50
00:02:36,753 --> 00:02:38,719
♪ Bang! ♪

51
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x01 ♪
The Date Night Variable
Original Air Date on September 27, 2012

52
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==

53
00:02:51,741 --> 00:02:54,576
This is so exciting.

54
00:02:54,578 --> 00:02:57,329
Soon, my upper lip will
be the same fake blonde

55
00:02:57,331 --> 00:02:59,414
as my beautiful
best friend.

56
00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:02,634
Hey, this is
my natural hair color.

57
00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:06,972
Now.

58
00:03:06,974 --> 00:03:09,141
So, does Sheldon have
anything special

59
00:03:09,143 --> 00:03:10,926
planned for you
tomorrow night?

60
00:03:10,928 --> 00:03:13,595
Oh, yes. According to the
Relationship Agreement,

61
00:03:13,597 --> 00:03:15,447
on the anniversary
of our first date,

62
00:03:15,449 --> 00:03:18,617
he must take me to a nice
dinner, ask about my day

63
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,569
and engage in casual
physical contact

64
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:24,039
that a disinterested onlooker
might mistake for intimacy.

65
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,991
That's hot.

66
00:03:27,293 --> 00:03:29,628
You kids better use protection.

67
00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:32,247
How long does
this stay on?

68
00:03:32,249 --> 00:03:33,382
Just a couple of minutes.

69
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:34,666
You've really never
done this before?

70
00:03:34,668 --> 00:03:37,219
Once in high school,
but I dozed off

71
00:03:37,221 --> 00:03:40,439
and woke up with second-degree
chemical burns on my face.

72
00:03:40,441 --> 00:03:42,257
Oh, my gosh,
that's awful.

73
00:03:42,259 --> 00:03:43,842
The other kids
make fun of you?

74
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:47,146
No, I had a cover story;
I told everyone it was herpes.

75
00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,849
So, how's everything going
with you and Leonard?

76
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I don't know,
it's still kind of weird.

77
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We haven't really recovered
since he proposed to me

78
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in the middle of sex.

79
00:03:56,624 --> 00:03:59,241
Oh. Boo-hoo.

80
00:03:59,243 --> 00:04:01,143
If Sheldon proposed
to me during sex,

81
00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:04,913
my ovaries would grab on to him
and never let go.

82
00:04:09,335 --> 00:04:13,839
Leonard, where do you stand
on the anthropic principle?

83
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:16,542
Interesting question. On the
one hand, I always thought...

84
00:04:16,544 --> 00:04:19,828
You don't even know
what it is, do you?

85
00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:23,048
The anthropic principle states
that if we wish to explain

86
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why our universe exists
the way it does,

87
00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:28,503
the answer is that
it must have qualities

88
00:04:28,505 --> 00:04:30,889
that allow intelligent
creatures to arise

89
00:04:30,891 --> 00:04:33,058
who are capable of
asking the question.

90
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:36,528
As I am doing
so eloquently right now.

91
00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:39,565
I know what
the anthropic principle is.

92
00:04:39,567 --> 00:04:41,950
Of course.
I just explained it to you.

93
00:04:41,952 --> 00:04:45,520
Now, where do you
stand on it?

94
00:04:45,522 --> 00:04:47,656
Where do you stand on it?
Strongly pro.

95
00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:50,425
Then I believe that God
created the world in six days,

96
00:04:50,427 --> 00:04:53,128
and on the seventh,
he made you to annoy me.

97
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,500
Hey, guys.
Hey.

98
00:04:58,502 --> 00:05:00,419
Yeah, wait, Raj,
where do you stand

99
00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,054
on the anthropic
principle?

100
00:05:02,056 --> 00:05:04,206
I'm all for it.
Attaboy!

101
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,540
Well, hang on.
Why do you believe

102
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,259
that he knows
what it is and I don't?

103
00:05:07,261 --> 00:05:09,978
Oh, Leonard.
Let's not take a saw

104
00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:12,547
to the branch
we're sitting on, shall we?

105
00:05:12,549 --> 00:05:14,099
Hey, uh,
if you guys

106
00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:17,186
are free tonight, I heard about
a spa where you soak your feet

107
00:05:17,188 --> 00:05:18,737
in a pool full of little fish

108
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that eat all the dead skin
right off them.

109
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:22,557
I don't need
to tell you,

110
00:05:22,559 --> 00:05:26,578
in Los Angeles, sandal
season is year round.

111
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,031
Actually, I'm hanging
out with Penny.

112
00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:32,417
Oh, okay. Sounds like
it's me and you, Sheldon.

113
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,237
How about we sic some guppies
on those puppies?

114
00:05:36,289 --> 00:05:38,840
As I've stated before
on numerous occasions,

115
00:05:38,842 --> 00:05:41,843
the only sea creature I would
even consider being eaten by

116
00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:45,047
is the Kraken, because
the last words I would hear are:

117
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"Release the Kraken."

118
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That never gets old.

119
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"Release the Kraken!"
Oh, chills.

120
00:05:52,589 --> 00:05:55,440
Besides, I'm having
dinner with Amy.

121
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:58,277
Oh, okay. I'll just go home
and be alone.

122
00:05:58,279 --> 00:05:59,427
W-Which is cool.

123
00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:03,148
I eat alone, I sleep alone,
I cry alone, so...

124
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Cool.

125
00:06:06,819 --> 00:06:10,872
Darn. If you weren't busy,
I'd ask you to join us.

126
00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:13,959
Really? I can
come? Thanks!

127
00:06:13,961 --> 00:06:16,461
Sheldon, are you sure
you want to be bringing Raj

128
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,080
on your date night
with Amy?

129
00:06:18,082 --> 00:06:19,831
Oh, absolutely.

130
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:24,452
I have a contractual obligation
to provide Amy with conversation

131
00:06:24,454 --> 00:06:26,338
and casual
physical contact,

132
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,006
but nowhere is it specified

133
00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:31,143
that I can't outsource that
to an Indian.

134
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Howie?

135
00:06:38,152 --> 00:06:39,184
Howie?

136
00:06:39,186 --> 00:06:42,271
Hey, there's my beautiful bride!

137
00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:43,572
Can you see me?

138
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:45,907
I can.
How are you?

139
00:06:45,909 --> 00:06:47,075
I'm amazing.

140
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,528
I mean, this is
even better than I dreamed.

141
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:54,249
I look out the window, and...
it's all so unbelievable.

142
00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:55,617
Good for you.

143
00:06:55,619 --> 00:07:00,088
I just had a seemingly endless
dinner with your mom.

144
00:07:00,923 --> 00:07:03,258
Oh, yeah? That's nice.

145
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,961
It was. Until I found out
you never told her

146
00:07:05,963 --> 00:07:07,446
we're not gonna live with her.

147
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:10,882
Let's talk about that
for a minute.

148
00:07:11,768 --> 00:07:15,003
Hey, look, this pen is floating.

149
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:18,056
How crazy is that?

150
00:07:21,227 --> 00:07:23,695
You said you told her,
but you never did!

151
00:07:23,697 --> 00:07:27,182
Okay, okay, I know
you're upset, but...

152
00:07:27,184 --> 00:07:31,620
let me share something
I've learned since I got here.

153
00:07:31,622 --> 00:07:33,455
You realize

154
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:35,857
how small your problems are

155
00:07:35,859 --> 00:07:38,710
when you're looking down
on them from space.

156
00:07:39,963 --> 00:07:42,180
Now, come on, that's got
to make you feel better.

157
00:07:42,182 --> 00:07:45,350
How clear is the image
of me on that screen?

158
00:07:45,352 --> 00:07:46,885
Pretty clear.

159
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:49,688
Do I look like I feel better?

160
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:54,476
I mean, it's not, like,
HD quality.

161
00:07:54,478 --> 00:07:56,228
Listen, mister, you're
gonna talk to your mother

162
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:58,463
and you're gonna fix this,
or that thing I said

163
00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,866
I was gonna do to you
the minute you got home,

164
00:08:00,868 --> 00:08:03,819
you can do to yourself.

165
00:08:05,888 --> 00:08:08,774
Like he's been
doing since he got here.

166
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:17,416
Sheldon, this place
is so romantic.

167
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:19,034
Oh, I'm glad you like it.

168
00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:20,419
Raj picked it out.

169
00:08:20,421 --> 00:08:24,456
Well, when you see him,
tell him I say thank you.

170
00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:26,174
Tell him yourself.

171
00:08:26,176 --> 00:08:28,009
Yoo-hoo!

172
00:08:28,011 --> 00:08:29,678
Over here!

173
00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:34,066
I don't understand.
What's he doing here?

174
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,133
I invited him.

175
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:37,302
On our date?

176
00:08:37,304 --> 00:08:39,137
Sheldon, that's not okay.

177
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:40,689
Yes, it is.

178
00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:43,825
There's a loophole
in the Relationship Agreement.

179
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,594
You found a loophole?

180
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:50,682
Sorry I started without you.
I'm a little nervous.

181
00:08:50,684 --> 00:08:53,452
It's been a long time
since I've been on a date.

182
00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:57,906
I can't believe I bleached
my mustache for this.

183
00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,157
You should go
to my girl.

184
00:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,293
She'll knock out
those sideburns for free.

185
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,441
You know, Amy,
I don't even think

186
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,710
you and I have had
a real conversation.

187
00:09:15,712 --> 00:09:18,830
Let's use tonight to get to know
each other a little better.

188
00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:20,532
You start.

189
00:09:23,402 --> 00:09:25,320
Go home.

190
00:09:25,322 --> 00:09:27,505
I don't understand.

191
00:09:27,507 --> 00:09:30,375
Sheldon, how could you do this?
It's our second anniversary.

192
00:09:30,377 --> 00:09:32,110
It's your anniversary?!

193
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:35,113
Oh, my God, I had no idea.

194
00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,632
Amy, please,
let me make this right.

195
00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:38,783
Thank you.

196
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,118
My pleasure.
Waiter?

197
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,721
A bottle of champagne
and three glasses.

198
00:09:43,589 --> 00:09:44,789
Oh, boy,

199
00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:47,258
isn't this romantic?

200
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:49,461
Oh, I hope that's
a rhetorical question,

201
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,629
because I have no clue.

202
00:09:53,649 --> 00:09:55,934
This is great.
What's the occasion?

203
00:09:55,936 --> 00:09:57,769
No occasion. You know,
things have been

204
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,605
a little weird between us,
so I wanted to throw together

205
00:10:00,607 --> 00:10:01,940
a fun night
just for you.

206
00:10:01,942 --> 00:10:04,192
That is so sweet.
I got all your favorites.

207
00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:05,360
Beer, wings, sliders.

208
00:10:05,362 --> 00:10:06,995
We can watch the
football game.

209
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,197
I even painted my stomach.

210
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,984
"Go sports"?
Well...

211
00:10:12,986 --> 00:10:15,003
in case you were in
the mood for baseball,

212
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,922
I didn't want to
look ridiculous.

213
00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:19,323
This is awesome.
I love it!

214
00:10:19,325 --> 00:10:20,324
Good, I'm glad.

215
00:10:20,326 --> 00:10:21,910
Gosh, I worked
my ass off today.

216
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,344
This is exactly
what I needed.

217
00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,096
Great. Just relax and enjoy.

218
00:10:25,098 --> 00:10:26,581
Tonight is all about you.

219
00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,216
Ah, thank you!

220
00:10:30,821 --> 00:10:34,606
So, where exactly are we
in this relationship?

221
00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:36,641
Oh, come on!

222
00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:38,810
I just told you
I had a hard day.

223
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,562
You're right, I'm sorry.
Let's watch the game.

224
00:10:40,564 --> 00:10:41,913
Great.

225
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,117
I just know the longer
we wait to talk about it,

226
00:10:46,119 --> 00:10:48,186
the weirder it gets.

227
00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:51,873
Sweetie, can I just be
the girl tonight?

228
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:53,875
Absolutely.
You're the girl, I'm the guy.

229
00:10:53,877 --> 00:10:55,393
Now, you watch
your football game

230
00:10:55,395 --> 00:10:57,395
while I make you a
little plate here.

231
00:10:57,397 --> 00:10:59,230
Thank you!

232
00:11:01,468 --> 00:11:02,634
Oh, I'll get it.

233
00:11:02,636 --> 00:11:04,886
Go sports!

234
00:11:06,422 --> 00:11:08,840
Hello-lo-lo.

235
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:09,974
What are you doing here?

236
00:11:09,976 --> 00:11:11,760
I thought you were out
th Sheldon and Amy.

237
00:11:11,762 --> 00:11:12,894
I was, but it's
their anniversary

238
00:11:12,896 --> 00:11:14,779
and I didn't want
to be a third wheel,

239
00:11:14,781 --> 00:11:16,064
so I figured I'd come over here

240
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,382
and hang out with you
and Penny on your date.

241
00:11:18,384 --> 00:11:20,769
Well, it's not really
a great time.

242
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,654
Penny and I have some things
we need to talk about.

243
00:11:22,656 --> 00:11:24,439
No, we don't!
Come on in!

244
00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:26,224
Sweet!

245
00:11:26,226 --> 00:11:30,612
I can't believe
I shaved my stomach for this.

246
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:38,336
Hey, Froot Loops.

247
00:11:41,423 --> 00:11:43,458
You got a phone call.

248
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,609
Who is it?

249
00:11:44,611 --> 00:11:46,594
A woman who says
she's your mother

250
00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:49,013
but sounds like
your father.

251
00:11:52,685 --> 00:11:54,752
Hey, Ma.

252
00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,855
You know, we could
see each other

253
00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,773
if you turn on the computer.

254
00:11:58,775 --> 00:12:01,109
I'm not going near
that fakakta thing.

255
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:04,028
I'll catch a computer virus!

256
00:12:04,864 --> 00:12:08,116
You can't catch
a computer virus.

257
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:12,954
Oh, so now you're an astronaut
and a doctor?

258
00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:16,241
What do you want, Ma?

259
00:12:16,243 --> 00:12:20,044
Your wife says you have
something important to tell me.

260
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:23,882
Okay, here it is.

261
00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:28,336
Bernadette and I are starting
a life together and...

262
00:12:28,338 --> 00:12:31,289
Oh, God!
You are gonna leave me!

263
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,456
Ma...

264
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:33,791
It's okay.

265
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,261
Your father left me,
you left me--

266
00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:39,814
I guess I'm just the kind
of person people like to leave.

267
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,235
It's not... definite.

268
00:12:44,237 --> 00:12:46,404
I'll talk to Bernadette.

269
00:12:46,406 --> 00:12:47,572
Don't bother.

270
00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:49,858
I'll just go sit in a hole
in the ground

271
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:52,643
so I'm no trouble when I die.

272
00:12:53,529 --> 00:12:55,246
Stop it, Ma.

273
00:12:55,248 --> 00:12:58,983
I'm sure I can get
Bernie to come around.

274
00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:00,652
I knew it!

275
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,287
I knew she was behind this!

276
00:13:02,289 --> 00:13:04,923
You listen to me,
if you want to be a man,

277
00:13:04,925 --> 00:13:08,710
you can't let a woman
tell you what to do!

278
00:13:08,712 --> 00:13:09,878
Okay,

279
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,763
okay.

280
00:13:11,765 --> 00:13:15,166
I can't believe these people
won the Cold War.

281
00:13:17,169 --> 00:13:20,471
Now, can we please
change the subject?

282
00:13:20,473 --> 00:13:21,606
Fine.

283
00:13:21,608 --> 00:13:23,741
Explain why
you've been gone so long

284
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,810
and I haven't gotten
a single letter.

285
00:13:25,812 --> 00:13:29,280
Not even a lousy postcard!

286
00:13:33,186 --> 00:13:37,021
You know, I'm growing to like
American football.

287
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:39,057
Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
Well...

288
00:13:39,059 --> 00:13:41,910
it's not the balls-to-the-wall
action of badminton or cricket,

289
00:13:41,912 --> 00:13:44,028
but hey...

290
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:46,264
what is?

291
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:48,866
All right, who's ready
for another beer?

292
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:50,435
I'm good.
No, thank you.

293
00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:51,970
Girls.

294
00:13:52,805 --> 00:13:55,573
I am having
the nicest time.

295
00:13:55,575 --> 00:13:57,709
You guys are like
family to me.

296
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:58,910
You know that, right?

297
00:13:58,912 --> 00:14:00,895
That's great.
Get out.

298
00:14:00,897 --> 00:14:02,430
What? Why?

299
00:14:02,432 --> 00:14:04,682
Penny and I have some issues
we need to talk about.

300
00:14:04,684 --> 00:14:05,650
Oh...

301
00:14:05,652 --> 00:14:07,902
pish on your issues!

302
00:14:08,771 --> 00:14:10,838
You guys are fine.

303
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,890
Yes, you hit some bumps
along the way.

304
00:14:12,892 --> 00:14:14,158
I mean, Penny,

305
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,095
you've always known how this man
has felt about you,

306
00:14:17,097 --> 00:14:19,614
but you made him
grovel for affection.

307
00:14:19,616 --> 00:14:20,748
Okay, hold on...

308
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:21,950
Now, don't blame yourself.

309
00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:24,252
He was a groveler from way back.

310
00:14:25,671 --> 00:14:29,641
But the point is,
the two of you got past it.

311
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:31,442
And, Leonard,
you go and propose

312
00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:33,628
to this poor girl
in the middle of sex?

313
00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:36,464
That was some weak tea, dude.

314
00:14:37,299 --> 00:14:39,183
Some people might
say it was romantic.

315
00:14:39,185 --> 00:14:40,918
Yeah, no.

316
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,256
But yet, here you two are,
still together.

317
00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:48,426
And that's even after you and I
had our crazy naked night.

318
00:14:48,428 --> 00:14:49,677
Okay...
That's enough.

319
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,212
I'm just saying

320
00:14:51,214 --> 00:14:52,930
that after everything
you've been through,

321
00:14:52,932 --> 00:14:55,066
you get to look
into each other's eyes

322
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,735
and say "I love you."

323
00:14:57,737 --> 00:14:59,754
And that's beautiful.

324
00:15:02,574 --> 00:15:05,793
Actually, to this day,
she's never really said it.

325
00:15:06,729 --> 00:15:09,263
Oh, Penny!
That's ridiculous!

326
00:15:10,299 --> 00:15:11,265
You know you love him!

327
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:12,800
You look him in the eyes
and you say it.

328
00:15:12,802 --> 00:15:13,801
Raj...
Oh, come on,

329
00:15:13,803 --> 00:15:15,887
you know you want to say it.
Say it.

330
00:15:16,555 --> 00:15:18,823
Say you love him.

331
00:15:20,676 --> 00:15:23,127
Say it!

332
00:15:26,815 --> 00:15:29,367
I really thought
she would say it.

333
00:15:36,492 --> 00:15:41,295
Have I ever told you you're
like a sexy praying mantis?

334
00:15:42,147 --> 00:15:45,416
Every time you drink alcohol.

335
00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:48,486
You know what's wonderful
about the praying mantis?

336
00:15:49,288 --> 00:15:52,173
They devour their mate.

337
00:15:52,175 --> 00:15:53,975
Your point being?

338
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,568
Dessert is served.

339
00:16:04,403 --> 00:16:07,105
I just had cobbler.

340
00:16:07,973 --> 00:16:09,607
You know what?

341
00:16:09,609 --> 00:16:11,392
I'm done with this.

342
00:16:12,945 --> 00:16:14,345
W-Where are
you going?

343
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,947
I'm leaving.

344
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:17,532
You can't leave.

345
00:16:17,534 --> 00:16:18,966
I need you.

346
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:23,004
You do?

347
00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:24,722
Yes.

348
00:16:24,724 --> 00:16:26,958
You're my ride.

349
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:31,662
Sheldon, you either say
something meaningful

350
00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:35,183
and from the heart,
or you and I are done.

351
00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,252
All right.

352
00:16:39,371 --> 00:16:42,223
Please.

353
00:16:45,094 --> 00:16:47,678
Amy...

354
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,181
when I look in your eyes

355
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,383
and you're looking
back in mine,

356
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:56,270
everything feels
not quite normal,

357
00:16:56,272 --> 00:16:58,806
because I feel

358
00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:02,660
stronger and weaker
at the same time.

359
00:17:02,662 --> 00:17:08,566
I feel excited and,
at the same time, terrified.

360
00:17:08,568 --> 00:17:10,901
The truth is,

361
00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,838
I don't know
what I feel, except...

362
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:18,009
I know what kind of man
I want to be.

363
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:21,345
Sheldon...

364
00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:23,181
that was beautiful.

365
00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:24,348
I should hope so.

366
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,734
That's from the first
Spider-Man movie.

367
00:17:31,473 --> 00:17:34,325
I'll take it.

368
00:17:35,144 --> 00:17:36,561
Good.

369
00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:38,946
Now, I assume
we're splitting the check?

370
00:17:43,285 --> 00:17:44,435
Hey, Stuart.

371
00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:47,572
Oh, hey. I was actually
just about to close up.

372
00:17:47,574 --> 00:17:48,906
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave.

373
00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,491
No, no. It's
okay. Hang out.

374
00:17:50,493 --> 00:17:51,576
You sure?

375
00:17:51,578 --> 00:17:54,045
Yeah, you're
my first customer today.

376
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:56,197
All right. Great.

377
00:17:56,199 --> 00:17:57,615
I'm, uh, having a nightcap.

378
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,116
You want to join me?

379
00:17:59,118 --> 00:18:00,284
What are you drinking?

380
00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:03,287
Coffee liqueur
in a Chewbacca mug.

381
00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:06,140
I call it a sad-tini.

382
00:18:06,142 --> 00:18:08,726
Perfect for the night
I'm having. Thank you.

383
00:18:08,728 --> 00:18:11,979
Hmm. Nice not
to drink alone.

384
00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:13,631
Amen to that.

385
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,316
Sometimes I pour

386
00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:18,152
a little chardonnay
into my dog's water bowl.

387
00:18:18,154 --> 00:18:20,321
You're kidding.

388
00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:23,407
She's kind of a mean drunk,
but what are you gonna do?

389
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:24,692
Cheers.

390
00:18:24,694 --> 00:18:26,143
Cheers.

391
00:18:26,145 --> 00:18:27,912
A little music?
Sure.

392
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:34,168
Mmm. Bossa nova.

393
00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:37,755
You listen to that with
your hips as well as your ears.

394
00:18:37,757 --> 00:18:39,156
Mmm.

395
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,677
Oh.

396
00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:44,762
Something about...

397
00:18:44,764 --> 00:18:47,181
Latin music just
makes me feel like

398
00:18:47,183 --> 00:18:50,268
I'm on a white sand beach
in Rio.

399
00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:53,137
Yeah.

400
00:18:53,139 --> 00:18:57,225
The sun, the waves,
the beautiful bodies,

401
00:18:57,227 --> 00:19:00,861
tanned and glistening
with sweat.

402
00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:17,695
I should go.
Yeah.

403
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:20,831
Uh, thank you
for the drink.

404
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:23,334
No problem.

405
00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:26,170
Hey, Stuart.
Yeah?

406
00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:29,390
Do you want to...
hang out tomorrow night,

407
00:19:29,392 --> 00:19:32,059
maybe grab a bite to eat
or catch a late movie?

408
00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:35,879
Yeah, I-I'd like to,
but I'm a little tight on funds.

409
00:19:35,881 --> 00:19:37,398
No problem. My treat.

410
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,983
I'll swing by after work.

411
00:19:38,985 --> 00:19:40,268
Okay.

412
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,902
Okay.

413
00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:48,609
I could do worse.

414
00:19:57,304 --> 00:19:58,840
Aw, that's such
good news, Howie.

415
00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,240
Thank you for telling her.

416
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:03,360
Hey, I'm a grown man;
I'm gonna live with my wife.

417
00:20:03,362 --> 00:20:07,781
My mother's just gonna have
to learn to make do on her own.

418
00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,566
Was she upset?

419
00:20:09,568 --> 00:20:12,936
Who can tell?
She yells everything.

420
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:16,740
She might have been upset.

421
00:20:16,742 --> 00:20:19,376
She might have been hungry.

422
00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,829
Thanks for fixing it.

423
00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:23,330
I love you.

424
00:20:23,332 --> 00:20:24,581
I love you, too.

425
00:20:24,583 --> 00:20:26,583
Sweet dreams.
I'll talk to you tomorrow?

426
00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:29,453
Good night, Rocket Man.

427
00:20:29,455 --> 00:20:32,122
To infinity and beyond, baby.

428
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,126
Loops.

429
00:20:36,128 --> 00:20:38,629
You realize you just
lied your ass off

430
00:20:38,631 --> 00:20:40,731
to your wife
and your mother.

431
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:42,099
I know.

432
00:20:42,101 --> 00:20:44,218
What are you gonna do
when you get back to Earth?

433
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,569
Oh, I'm never going back.

434
00:20:45,571 --> 00:20:49,571
== sync, corrected by elderman ==